May the odds be ever in your favor!

LegacyUser

Well after another weekend on the gay scene I've decided to have a tiny rant. For the last 2.5 years now I've been single, i'm a great looking guy, caring, kind, ambitious and good craic to be around.....I guess I have it all tbh

I just feel I've not come close to finding a man that i'd want to be in a relationship with, or a man that I actually find myself attracted to. I do wonder sometimes with the small population of gays out there am I doomed to being single for another few years..

Does anyone else get a bit down about things like this? Do you think it's harder for gays to find partners compared to straight people?

keepkeyyellow

thenormallad22 wrote: »

Well after another weekend on the gay scene I've decided to have a tiny rant. For the last 2.5 years now I've been single, i'm a great looking guy, caring, kind, ambitious and good craic to be around.....I guess I have it all tbh

I just feel I've not come close to finding a man that i'd want to be in a relationship with, or a man that I actually find myself attracted to. I do wonder sometimes with the small population of gays out there am I doomed to being single for another few years..

Does anyone else get a bit down about things like this? Do you think it's harder for gays to find partners compared to straight people?

I've been single for the same amount of time now (maybe you're my ex? ) but to be honest I just don't even consider it now. If it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't, however I won't be saying this if I end up being single for 5 more years...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0QLieH5s4Bc/TQTr_ZpVNuI/AAAAAAAAARc/bYMxMJDX3a0/s1600/hanginthere001.jpg

Healthis

Hey OP meet your brother

Like you I seem to have it all except the boyfriend that is, but I'm not particularly interested these days. The majority of guys I meet just seem to rave on about how good looking I am and don't seem interested in talking about anything else?

Anyway I said feck that and deleted my online profile and gave up all hope. I'd rather stay on my own if that is the case. Ah well it might just happen when I least expect it but as I said I'm not too bothered, I've got bigger things to concentrate on at the moment

thenormallad22

LOL..thanks for the reply...so you are single interesting lol ....lol times are getting bad when start to imagine meeting someone decent off boards.ie hahhahaha.. ALL TIME LOW ;0

CdeC

Yeah I totally get this,

I'm practically a model, I have the wit of Stephen Fry and I can make a room laugh or cry with a mere yarn about my life.

Why the fu*k am I single!!! I am such a catch and just because I am an amazing person with everything going for me people can't handle that.

Fu*k you gay scene, I am too good for you anyway!!!!

whattotdo

thenormallad22 wrote: »

Well after another weekend on the gay scene I've decided to have a tiny rant. For the last 2.5 years now I've been single, i'm a great looking guy, caring, kind, ambitious and good craic to be around.....I guess I have it all tbh

You forgot to mention 'modest'.:D

Annasopra

I think we should organise a speed dating event just for all the single men who post on this forum!!

They'd make a fortune.

Rick_

Well, considering the first thing you describe about yourself is that you're great looking. Perhaps you are unwittingly putting people off due to your behaviour or if you have that high an opinion of yourself that you don't see anyone as good enough for you? Just a thought.

On a side note, I must have been doing something right, as 3 different guys have asked me out on a date over the weekend. Argh! What to do? Who to pick? My head is about to explode!

bikeman1

mango salsa wrote: »

I think we should organise a speed dating event just for all the single men who post on this forum!!

They'd make a fortune.

That sounds like a good idea Mango. The amount of good looking sound single guys there are on here is amazing. While I'm taken, I now feel lucky after reading so many posts on here.

Annasopra

Paddy C wrote: »

Well, considering the first thing you describe about yourself is that you're great looking. Perhaps you are unwittingly putting people off due to your behaviour or if you have that high an opinion of yourself that you don't see anyone as good enough for you? Just a thought.

On a side note, I must have been doing something right, as 3 different guys have asked me out on a date over the weekend. Argh! What to do? Who to pick? My head is about to explode!

No harm in going on a date with all 3 and then deciding things are pribably not going anywhere with 2 of them!!!!

thenormallad22

Paddy C wrote: »

Well, considering the first thing you describe about yourself is that you're great looking. Perhaps you are unwittingly putting people off due to your behaviour or if you have that high an opinion of yourself that you don't see anyone as good enough for you? Just a thought.

I was waiting for someone to say that, im not full of myself at all, in fact its quite the opposite. And theres nothing wrong with my behavior I respect people..so thats not an issue

floggg

Paddy C wrote: »

Well, considering the first thing you describe about yourself is that you're great looking. Perhaps you are unwittingly putting people off due to your behaviour or if you have that high an opinion of yourself that you don't see anyone as good enough for you? Just a thought.

On a side note, I must have been doing something right, as 3 different guys have asked me out on a date over the weekend. Argh! What to do? Who to pick? My head is about to explode!

Go on a date with each of them, pick from there obviously.

Rick_

thenormallad22 wrote: »

I was waiting for someone to say that, im not full of myself at all, in fact its quite the opposite. And theres nothing wrong with my behavior I respect people..so thats not an issue

I didn't mean that in a bad way, the picture in itself was just a joke!. But perhaps it's more a case that maybe that's how they are seeing you rather than it being something you yourself are purposely doing. Maybe people are intimated by your looks and don't approach you because they think they don't stand a chance?

I think for scientific purposes, we should see a picture! (another joke)

1ZRed

Ah, let me guess

You're not out

You use hook up sites looking and expecting a boyfriend

You can't find the time to stop fapping in front of the mirror to go out and meet guys in other ways?

Annasopra

1ZRed wrote: »

Ah, let me guess

You're not out

You use hook up sites looking and expecting a boyfriend

You can't find the time to stop fapping in front of the mirror to go out and meet guys in other ways?

Ah would you give it a rest with the cynicism

1ZRed

mango salsa wrote: »

Ah would you give it a rest with the cynicism

Wouldn't necessarily look at it that way, but I don't see why some guys seem to over complicate things and don't just keep going for "when it happens it happens" and enjoy the bit between now and then.

If they're so perfect I don't see how they'd have an issue.

brokenice

have you really gotten over the last fella though? you may think you want to move on, but if you're angry about how things have ended with him, you may be subconsciously putting up barriers to people entering your life...think about it....i'm a big believer in people's energy...just be open to meeting someone new and it will happen....but you have to be open to the idea and believe it...not just want it.

floggg

1ZRed wrote: »

Wouldn't necessarily look at it that way, but I don't see why some guys seem to over complicate things and don't just keep going for "when it happens it happens" and enjoy the bit between now and then.

If they're so perfect I don't see how they'd have an issue.

I don't really get why people seem to have such trouble meeting people either.

I'm adopting a whatever happens happens approach to men/dating etc and haven't put in a particular amount of effort to find "the one". I ain't desperately looking for love, but I'm always game to meet people for a drink and see what happens.

I'm not a supermodel, I'm quite average looking and don't have a six pack. I have a reasonably good personality but at the same time there's plenty of people out there who probably think I'm dick.

And I'm meeting guys in all the "wrong" places - in bars and clubs or on "dating" apps.

Yet in the past few months I've met and been on dates with plenty of guys who are looking for some form of relationship, most of whom have seemed really nice but I just didn't feel any spark for.

I've been seeing one guy now for the past few weeks which seems to be going really well and looks promising.

I don't see why what's so hard about it. It seems there are plenty of relationship orientated guys out there. Without looking particularly hard, I'm finding them, just be being myself and being open and willing to meet people.

I'm prepared to meet a few frogs, even to kiss some of them, but get to meet plenty of decent guys on the way too.

I don't see what's so complicated about it.

Conor30

floggg wrote: »

I don't see what's so complicated about it.

Maybe that's because not everyone is as great as like you?

floggg

Conor30 wrote: »

Maybe that's because not everyone is as great as like you?

As I said, I'm not that spectacular. I am decidedly average in all regards, and am cool with that.

I just have an open mind, willingness to take a chance on meeting people and don't have a woe is me attitude.

If I can do it, surely all the funny, good looking people with great personalities can?

1ZRed

floggg wrote: »

As I said, I'm not that spectacular. I am decidedly average in all regards, and am cool with that.

I just have an open mind, willingness to take a chance on meeting people and don't have a woe is me attitude.

If I can do it, surely all the funny, good looking people with great personalities can?

I don't see what's so particularly special about me but I find it's my attitude and easy going nature that gets most attention, and in fact wins over some pure rides. A guy you can have a laugh with and has an unreal personally is actually a massive thing if you're looking at something further than a quick fuck or even trying to get a fuck buddy.

There was a guy I was kind of getting close to, unreal looking lad and he was a nice person, but fuck me was he arrogant, self absorbed and high maintenance!
In the end I couldn't be around him because all those qualities are massive hard on killers to me. What I found kind of funny was that he was 22 and really hung up on finding a boyfriend but when he started looking at me as one, I left.

Being a complete ride and nothing much behind it isn't good enough to keep anybody, and looks really aren't all important especially when wondering why you don't have/can't get a boyfriend.

Annasopra

Flogggg/1zred

It's not that you guys are special.


Different people have different personalities and also maybe have fears that you guys don't.

floggg

mango salsa wrote: »

Flogggg/1zred

It's not that you guys are special.


Different people have different personalities and also maybe have fears that you guys don't.

I get that, I had all those fears. Maybe I didn't express the point very well but the thing is to overcome those fears and make an effort.

This time last year, I felt really bitter about all the effort I had to put into forcing myself to do new things and meet new people, but at the same time I new why I was doing it and that I would see rewards for it.

It still takes effort to meet people but I know that unless I put in the effort I won't see the return.

And the more you put yourself out there the easier it gets.

Petey89

whattotdo wrote: »

You forgot to mention 'modest'.:D

Lol i was just about to comment the same thing haha!

cartell_best

thenormallad22 wrote: »

Well after another weekend on the gay scene I've decided to have a tiny rant. For the last 2.5 years now I've been single, i'm a great looking guy, caring, kind, ambitious and good craic to be around.....I guess I have it all tbh

I just feel I've not come close to finding a man that i'd want to be in a relationship with, or a man that I actually find myself attracted to. I do wonder sometimes with the small population of gays out there am I doomed to being single for another few years..

Does anyone else get a bit down about things like this? Do you think it's harder for gays to find partners compared to straight people?

Lad, its hard for all sexualities to find a partner, its just with us being gay, its a lot smaller of a place for us to find meaning to that elusive phrase "plenty more fish in the sea". But, trust me, there are good guys out there. It kills me to see some people knock it, I wonder why?

unusuality

OP, I feel the exact same... I'm getting over the initial exciting period of scoring guys and have been looking for more but there seems to be no one really compatible (and I'm really not that picky - sane, average-looking, not weird/bitchy/camp)... I've come to the following conclusion:

Emigrate!

Conor30

1ZRed wrote:

Being a complete ride and nothing much behind it isn't good enough to keep anybody, and looks really aren't all important especially when wondering why you don't have/can't get a boyfriend.

Of course good looks only take one so far, but they are usually what make a guy get noticed (by other gay guys). Obviously a personality and sense of humour are also of importance if a relationship is to take off. Good looks usually get you noticed initially though.

ninty9er

It's all about expectations, everyone has an ideal, for a lot of people it's the ripped, tanned, great teeth, great job guy. In reality you're better off starting with personality once you have some level of attraction. If you're looking for someone to care about you, the best place to start probably isn't someone who's obsessed with themselves.