16 year old son hasnt had a girlfriend

Twoandahalfmen

My 16 y.o son hasnt had a girlfriend yet is this normal ??

richymcdermott

Yes..

amdublin

Things happen for kids at all different ages.

endacl

OP, imaging a thread that started:

OK, so I'm 16. I'm perfectly normal in every way. Doing ok at school. Lots of friends. Not in a relationship, but I'm just not really interested. Prefer to hang out with my mates. My parents seem to be hung up on this one fact though. No girlfriend. I mean, I have friends who are girls. I just don't have one who's particularly special. If I meet somebody maybe this'll change. Why do you think my folks are so stuck on this girlfriend thing?

How would you respond?

Twoandahalfmen

endacl wrote: »

OP, imaging a thread that started:

OK, so I'm 16. I'm perfectly normal in every way. Doing ok at school. Lots of friends. Not in a relationship, but I'm just not really interested. Prefer to hang out with my mates. My parents seem to be hung up on this one fact though. No girlfriend. I mean, I have friends who are girls. I just don't have one who's particularly special. If I meet somebody maybe this'll change. Why do you think my folks are so stuck on this girlfriend thing?

How would you respond?

He dosnt go out with his friends really either

endacl

Twoandahalfmen wrote: »

He dosnt go out with his friends really either

Ah, there's a different issue...

How does he seem in himself generally? How is he with you an your OH? Has this changed at all? 16 is difficult for everybody.

Max Power

Maybe he's gay?

Twoandahalfmen

endacl wrote: »

Ah, there's a different issue...

How does he seem in himself generally? How is he with you an your OH? Has this changed at all? 16 is difficult for everybody.

hes grand has a great relationship with us he has friends we know that he just dosnt go out with them

Moonbeam

Maybe he just has not told you about them?

Twoandahalfmen

Moonbeam wrote: »

Maybe he just has not told you about them?

about what ?

endacl

FionnMcCool87 wrote: »

Maybe he's gay?

That's helpful.

And irrelevant. Maybe he's not.

What is FionnMacCool telling the forum?

endacl

Twoandahalfmen wrote: »

hes grand has a great relationship with us he has friends we know that he just dosnt go out with them

Good stuff. Have you spoken to him about it? I mean, all you'll get here from us is opinion and conjecture. And the odd smartarse comment of course...

jubella

I had never had a boyfriend until I was 17, and I consider myself fairly normal. Maybe he's a bit of a shy guy? He's only 16, he'll come into himself eventually, just don't push him.

TheBody

I'd leave him alone. He has plenty of time to be worried about things like girlfriends.

leeomurchu

to be honest a 16 year old lad isn't gonna tell you anything about what he's up to for all you know he's smoking pot in the shed and mixing it up with prostitutes at the weekend. Most likely not but my point is he sounds like a perfectly normal kid perhaps he's quiet and maybe his mate are getting into drugs an he's not interested.

There's a million and one different personalities out there if you trust him to come to you if he has any problems then you've little to nothing to be worried about.

Stheno

i didn't have a boyfriend until I was 17/18 and wasn't bothered

endacl

leeomurchu wrote: »

to be honest a 16 year old lad isn't gonna tell you anything about what he's up to for all you know he's smoking pot in the shed and mixing it up with prostitutes at the weekend. Most likely not but my point is he sounds like a perfectly normal kid perhaps he's quiet and maybe his mate are getting into drugs an he's not interested.

There's a million and one different personalities out there if you trust him to come to you if he has any problems then you've little to nothing to be worried about.

This is true, but it never does any harm to talk to teenagers. Even just to put your mind at ease. And to let the teenager know your open and available to talking. I think OP has to trust his instincts. If he's concerned about 'something', he's entirely correct to address it. May be nothing, but talking is always good in families.

A_Sober_Paddy

Twoandahalfmen wrote: »

My 16 y.o son hasnt had a girlfriend yet is this normal ??

I'm 24 and never really had a girlfriend...

leeomurchu

endacl wrote: »

This is true, but it never does any harm to talk to teenagers. Even just to put your mind at ease. And to let the teenager know your open and available to talking. I think OP has to trust his instincts. If he's concerned about 'something', he's entirely correct to address it. May be nothing, but talking is always good in families.

Couldn't agree more.

coolhull

I didn't have my first girlfriend till I was 18. Now I'm 58, with seven grown-up kids and 13 grandchildren. Believe me, in a couple of years you'll look back and wonder why you were ever worried.

Davaeo09

To be honest with you, being some one who had a few girl friends before I was 16, at that age there isn't much to it. Most people don't really apprieciate a true bond I find until they are in there later teens. You'll find allot of the time a "couple" are just meeting...

I wouldn't get too hung about it as a parent.

As far as the friends go, is he into his gaming or some thing or does he just not like to go out much?

I know this is rich coming from a twenty three year old over boards but try and be a little bit more relaxed about the issue in yourself as a parent.
I know I certainly took on allot of what was said to me in regard to relationships when I was younger, maybe it's a teen thing but some times it can hurt and he might be taking it to heart and adding a little pressure

If you do want to be encouraging, which I can see you are just by posting here, try get him involved in some group activities and he might meet some one special because love doesn't come knocking on your door

SPQRI

FionnMcCool87 wrote: »

Maybe he's gay?

That's the answer to everything!! Another plank!

partyatmygaff

Big question. Have you even talked to him about any of this? No need to jump the gun and make out that something's wrong or strange about him.

I mean, not being in a relationship at 16 isn't just normal, it's probably par for the course for the vast majority of people. As for not going out with his friends... "going out" in some groups is synonymous for "getting pissed for a few hours and forgetting all about it the next day while nursing a hangover" and that just mightn't be his thing.

Tonyandthewhale

Maybe he has a girlfriend and he hasn't told you.

Maybe he isn't interested in having a relationship or just hasn't found anyone special.

Maybe he likes playing the field so doesn't like the idea of having a girlfriend.

Maybe he's gay (although I don't think not having a girlfriend by the age of 16 is a particularly indicator of this, I've known a few gay guys who were real ladies men before they came out).

Maybe he's just shy, no harm in that.

Lot's of things that could be going on here OP, none of them particularly worrying in and of themselves.

Janey_Mac

When I was sixteen I hadn't had a boyfriend, had never kissed a guy (I hated the thought of "meeting" some random guy I'd just met) and wasn't into the only "going out" experiences that seemed to count as "going out": getting drunk in a field or going to a pub or club that wasn't fussy about checking ID that played music I hated and getting drunk there.

I had a small group of close friends and we would spend the night in each other's houses, go to the cinema, spend summer holiday days at the beach, have those intense teenage discussions about the meaning of life or Buffy the Vampire Slayer or whether we believed in God or how annoying our parents were.

Sure, we all sometimes wished we had boyfriends, but there was a combination of not wanting to be just like everyone else and not feeling like we'd fit in if we tried that kept us from the get-drunk-and-shift-someone that makes up a lot of teenage love lives.

Oh, and in case you're wondering: I was never a teetotaller, just didn't like getting drunk and still prefer to stop at tipsy; first kiss/first boyfriend at nineteen in college; still hate nightclubs and discos; and I'm still up for intense discussions on Buffy the Vampire Slayer sometimes

Most I know who didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend in secondary school might have felt they were missing out a bit at the time but there are loads of us late bloomers and most grow up to live full and happy lives.

If your son isn't isolated or unhappy, then, while he might feel like he'd like one sometimes, he's not likely to be scarred by not having a girlfriend.

Piliger

Twoandahalfmen wrote: »

My 16 y.o son hasnt had a girlfriend yet is this normal ??

YES.

Relax. Let him be. He will find his own path ... in his own time.

Media999

Twoandahalfmen wrote: »

My 16 y.o son hasnt had a girlfriend yet is this normal ??

How may fellas did you have before you where 16?

Twoandahalfmen

Media999 wrote: »

How may fellas did you have before you where 16?

2

endacl

endacl wrote: »

If he's concerned about 'something', he's entirely correct to address it.

I'd disagree I was almost 16 by the time I first kissed someone, and while I was perfectly fine with that, if my parents had been asking me why I didn't have a boyfriend yet it would have made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

OP there are many explanations for why your son hasn't had a girlfriend. I would say it's more normal not to have one at that age than the other way round. He could just not be interested yet. He could just have bad luck with girls. He could be gay. He could have had loads of girlfriends but none of them serious enough to mention. He could have a serious girlfriend that he just doesn't want to mention.

Or he could be at a stage where he's still awkward about these things and life in general and the last thing he needs is his parents worrying about his lack of obvious sex life.

areyawell

Just hire him a couple of escorts for him next week. He'll be grand! Buy him 2 or three at the same time. Always better than one!

Neewbie_noob

Twoandahalfmen wrote: »

My 16 y.o son hasnt had a girlfriend yet is this normal ??

I was 17 before I kissed a girl, cop on. Your son is fine. (I'm 21 now and have an amazing beautiful girlfriend).

monkeysnapper

I was 17 before I had a girlfriend , I was very shy with girls. And the last thing I would have wanted was to talk about it with my parents. I got it sorted by my self in end and then started the rounds

Soby

I nearly go as far as asking is this a troll topic ? . Poor lad is 16 , with my first girlfriend now and im 21

newmug

I was 17 before I kissed a girl, 19 before I had a proper GF. OP, what age are you? You are coming across as someone from the "sweet valley high" generation.

Side Show Bob

FionnMcCool87 wrote: »

Maybe he's gay?

And maybe someone who can present a post like that is a total clown!

eviltwin

My husband was 21 before he had his first girlfriend. My daughter is 15 and has no interest at all in dating. Thank christ for that I say, the longer they focus on their schoolwork the better!!!

seamus

My recollection of being a teenager is that most girls seemed to always have a boyfriend on the go, but most boys rarely if ever have a girlfriend.

I'm not sure how that worked, but the majority of guys I hung around with didn't have any kind of girlfriend until 17/18.

Media999

Maybe these days people are actually less social then before.

Facebook makes people think they are social by looking at strangers bull**** about what they ate for breakfast.

areyawell

Hey guys if you look at OP's other posts and threads he is in fact only 16 himself and in fifth year in school.

endacl

areyawell wrote: »

Hey guys if you look at OP's other posts and threads he is in fact only 16 himself and in fifth year in school.

Hmmmmmmm..... Think you may be on to something there. OP, stop stressing. You'll meet somebody when you meet somebody. Life happens at its own pace.

Off topic for this thread I know, but you might think about postponing the backing horses for a few years yet. Wait till you have some cash before you throw it all away.

You might try posting as 'yourself' next time. The advice and support will be just as freely given. We still won't know, or care, who you are in the outernet.

Well spotted areyawell.

;-)

Ironman76

My son is also 16 and hasnt got a girlfriend. I just tell him to enjoy the peace while he can.

Being a teenager is a pain as it is without this sort of pressure. Id be far more worried if he wasnt hanging out with his buddies to be honest.

notfromhere

Twoandahalfmen wrote: »

My 16 y.o son hasnt had a girlfriend yet is this normal ??

funny that u are only 17