Food addiction

LegacyUser

Hi there,

Regular poster going anon.

Long story short, I am a food addict.

Yes, I realise we all need food to live, and I understand that. However, I am literally 100% addicted to food in a way that I realise isn't normal.

I think about food all of the time, as soon as I've finished eating one thing, all I can think about is what I'm going to eat next. I follow all of the food blogs on tumblr/twitter etc and watch all of the cooking programmes - especially the dirty manky ones like Man v Food and Diners, Driver ins and Dives. I'm obsessed with food and having the absolute most tasty things in the world - truffle fries, burritos, steaks, tortellini, polenta, proper Indian food, Zaytoon, desserts - these are my weakness - sweets, marshmallows, coca cola, tea - everything. It's not just unhealthy stuff, I love salmon, fresh green beans, spinach, grated carrot etc etc.

I fantasise about what I'll have if I'm going to a restaurant that I know and love, it's almost to a point where I get seriously aggravated if my plans for dinner don't go ahead. I eat "bold" food in secret (melted marshmallows, slices of bannoffee from local bakeries etc) and have my "staple" foods that I eat every day (bananas, peanut butter on toast, tomatoes) and I find myself feeling anxious if I don't get to eat them.

I eat when I'm happy and I eat when I'm sad, and I eat all of the times in between. I feel physically unwell if I don't eat for more than 4 hours and it's ruining my life.

I've put on over 2 stone in the last year after I discovered a burrito joint around the corner from work and a bakery that does amazing caramel slices.

I'm a female, 24 5ft 8 and currently over 17st (but am built in such a way that I don't look it, currently a size 18). I'm miserable at the fact that I can't stop eating and nothing can change it. My friends and family eat normally, and I cannot pinpoint when my problem with food started either which is doing my head in. I ate like this in my last relationship as well, but more on and off (probably because I had him to impress with the sexytimes!). We had an amicable break up 4 years ago so I don't know what the trigger was as the real problem has only surfaced in the last 2 years.

I also smoke and drink a lot of alcohol, so I'm about 2 years away from a stroke if I keep going the way I'm going.

I've tried getting friends/family to do the tough love thing and tell me if I don't stop eating the way I do, I'm going to die. I've tried telling myself that I'm ugly and if I don't stop eating, I'll never get a boyfriend again. I've tried the going into shops and trying on clothes that are the size I used to be and swearing to get into that size again. Nothing works.

Kate Moss once said "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" - well that's a load of rubbish, and she clearly never tried a Zaytoons!

I've done Slimming World, WW, Unislim, Motivation clinics etc and nothing works, food always wins in the end.

I'm at the end of my tether - food is literally like heroin to me and it has taken over my life. I'd rather eat than have a boyfriend, which is pathetic. Anyone have any advice? I don't want food to ruin my life. I don't want food to kill me. I just cannot stop and I'm so unmotivated to diet or cut out the crap when it tastes so good and makes me feel so good. It's not even about being skinny, I just want food to stop controlling everything I do and affecting my happiness.

I would welcome any advice anyone has.

Tea-a-Maria

I think you would be far better off spending your money on proper counselling and GP visits than on Motivation,Unislim and the like.I get the feeling that you're an emotional eater and you use food as a comfort,a crutch.

It's great that you realise you have a problem,but before you can lose weight,you need to tackle the underlying emotional issues.

Good luck OP.:)

LegacyUser

Id would second last poster, you need to speak to someone professionally about this, especaily if you know yourself that you're bad.
I don't know your whole circumstances but could be emotionally related?

Until recently i could relate to you almost exactly, food was always on my mind.
are you working? i found if i was off for a day or at wknds on my own in house, i was constantly eating, and didnt care. whether it was fruit, cereal biscuits, anything .. .

Gradually getting help for this, but you need to focus your mind on it, everytime you go to eat, ask yourself do u need this right now? is there anything else you can do?

(I'm not suggesting this as medical advice Mods, just personal experience)

I found out only very recently that the things that trigger my binge eating (on biscuits/fatty foods) was if I was upset.. figured this out and now i notice that when i'm upset i want this kinda food so i try opt for something different..

Sorry if reply all topsy turvy , just my opinion.

you've admitted to yourself you may have a problem,, next step.. look for help.

Good luck!

gustafo

This has to be a troll surely !!

LegacyUser

I 100% relate. I am an emotional binge eater, and I go through stages of either being ridiculously 'good' or ridiculously 'bad'. I am pretty reflective so can trace back where it all started...horrible childhood taunts from my brothers and low self esteem generally. I need to get this sorted. It makes me so sad at the amount of my life that I have wasted hating myself, when I have all of the gifts in the world. My weight completely dominates my life, such a huge percentage of my thoughts...it's sick. I'm a size 14...wtf? It's all about self image I suppose.

It's a tough issue, because obviously you need food to live, and regardless, it is one of the few base pleasures available to us, so we should thoroughly enjoy it. I think it is probably something that you need to get psychologically sorted. I probably have low self worth and won't allow myself to be happy. Still, add that to an endless cycle of dieting/binging, plus all of the peer pressure, pressure generally, media pressure etc to be slim...it's not an easy one. I'm thinking about joining Overeaters Anonymous and embracing exercise in earnest. I recommend Paul McKenna's 'I can make you thin', if you've never read it. All about intuitive eating, well worth a read.

looksee

If you want tough love? Stop kidding yourself that 17 stone doesn't show on 5'8". I am two inches taller, over 3 stone lighter and my backside still looks a mile wide!

Seriously though, you need help. Make a start by going to your GP and ask him to refer you to someone.

You do have to eat, so that is going to be harder, but you don't have to drink alcohol, and that might be something that you could get tough with yourself about. It would cut out a lot of calories and improve your health.

Make a serious start on something you can control, and get help to deal with the other stuff. Good luck!

Blatter

gustafo wrote: »

This has to be a troll surely !!

Very helpful :rolleyes:

The ignorance by some people with regards certain issues astounds me. OP, as others have said, you should really see a professional. There are plenty of people trained to deal with this sort of thing. It's a problem you have and it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You'd be very surprised at how many people have similar problems with regards food.

superblu

Blatter wrote: »

Very helpful :rolleyes:

The ignorance by some people with regards certain issues astounds me. OP, as others have said, you should really see a professional. There are plenty of people trained to deal with this sort of thing. It's a problem you have and it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You'd be very surprised at how many people have similar problems with regards food.

I'm not going to lie I didn't realise people had these sort of issues either. It's pretty shocking. Can only agree with previous posters about seeking professional help. On a lighter note I absolutely love zaytoon too.

beks101

Your relationship with food is complex and deep-seated and will require a lot of long-term hard work to alter. I'd second the suggestion of a counsellor. I don't think battling this alone is advisable or likely to produce any level of real change.

In the mean time, try to change one thing at a time. Don't take an all-or-nothing approach because you'll just set yourself up for failure when you inevitably 'fall off the wagon' and lose the will to get back on. Go easy on yourself and try to show yourself some love in ways other than food. An early night, a long hot bath, a new book or item of clothing.

I hope you get to the bottom of your issues and can begin to lose weight and feel good about yourself.

Blatter

superblu wrote: »

I'm not going to lie I didn't realise people had these sort of issues either. It's pretty shocking. Can only agree with previous posters about seeking professional help. On a lighter note I absolutely love zaytoon too.

Well think about it. People have problems with talking to other people, having relationships, sleep, internet addiction, and so many other things. Why would you think it's unusual for somebody to have a problem with their eating habits?

superblu

Blatter wrote: »

Well think about it. People have problems with talking to other people, having relationships, sleep, internet addiction, and so many other things. Why would you think it's unusual for somebody to have a problem with their eating habits?

In retrospect it was more so the candidness of the post that I found shocking and I'm sorry if I came across as ignorant or flippant about these issues. Obviously it's hard for a non sufferer to conceptualise what it must be like.

girl2

OP, if you want to stop, the only recommendation I could give is for you to get yourself along to an overeaters anonymous meeting and talk to some people in the same boat as you.

I just googled it and found this website - http://www.oahope.com/

I know nothing about this group of people, but I do know they follow a 12 step programme as those in any other addiction, i.e. AA or NA.

Taltos

gustafo - welcome to PI/RI.
If you have not already done so please review our charter before posting again.

Please also have a look at this sticky which speaks to suspected trolls, please note as PI is strictly moderated posts such as yours are considered off topic and can result is us issuing a warning or even banning posters like yourself.

Also for everyone else, please don't reply to posts like the above - instead please help us and report these posts. Otherwise you risk either continuing off topic posting or falling into the trap of backseat moderation. On a similar note, this is not the place for discussion, PI is a forum for advice so if you wish to discuss the realities of living with an eating disorder without providing useful advice to the OP please don't post here, instead take it to another forum where discussion is the norm.

Thanks
Taltos

R.D. aka MR.D

I used to be fat too and i know the kind of denial that is involved.

You really need to wake up and see what you are doing to yourself.

I started by exercising. I didn't cut down on what i was eating, i just exercised. I found that the exercise lifted my mood and made me less likely to want to eat for comfort.

Eventually, I started to eat more healthy because the smaller you get the less calories you need.

Get help OP. You know you need to. Crazy as it sounds when you get to a healthy weight you start to understand that Kate Moss quote. Feeling good for 20mins of the day while you are eating something amazing and fatty is nothing like the feeling from feeling good and healthy for the other 23 hours and 40mins.

LegacyUser

I have been up and down (weight-wise) many times over the years, so I know where you're at. Diet programmes don't really help, because the real problem is that compulsion to eat and I think counseling is your best hope of finding out why. I eat to feel better, it's as simple as that. It makes me happy and as nice as it is to be thin there's a part of my brain that would rather be fat than unhappy. I've been reading loads of books and there are some that maintain food addiction shows some of the same brain changes as alcohol or drug addictions do.

At the minute I've cut most sugar out of my diet - no sweets or cakes or biscuits - and that has helped. While I still eat far too much it isn't as strong a need as it used to be. I'm also working my way through a book called The Willpower Instinct, too early to tell if it is helping at all though.

OA isn't a bad suggestion if you can get past that "higher power" stuff. I think this problem is more common that some people think, so please know you are NOT alone.

LegacyUser

Hi there,

OP here.

Thanks for all of your replies. I laughed when I saw people thought I was a troll, although I can understand why - it sounds ridiculous but is sadly true.

I am aware that counselling etc is the obvious solution but my worry is this - how can someone telling me about my relationship with food stop me craving all of the wonderful food in the world - everywhere we turn there are fantastic restaurants, brilliant products in supermarkets, fabulous fresh produce. I travel a lot with my job and eating out is part of the fun - there are just so many amazing foods in the world!

I want to stop eating the way I do, I really do, but I find it hard to believe anything will stop me wanting to eat everything and just wanting to eat salad, steamed fish etc etc. How boring when I could have a curry, a steak, restaurant quality food - it feels as though I'd be depriving myself of something.

There's something I cannot bear about being hungry - it just ruins my concentration, my focus and my mood.

I don't know how I feel about something like Overeaters Anon - has anyone known anybody who has attended something like this? The spiritual aspect would put me off as I am vehemently atheist and do not apply spirituality to any aspect of my life. I had considered hypnotism, as I know people who have given up smoking successfully in doing this.

Any feedback from anyone who has conquered this demon would be welcomed. I have known several alcoholics and drug users and I am not unlike them in my addiction. It scares me but I don't want to stop eating, I don't want to stop enjoying food. I'm stuck in a rut basically.

tinkerbell

OP, I second what another poster said - stop kidding yourself that 17st on your 5'8" frame does not show. That's ridiculous, yes it does show.

I'm quite concerned by your attitude. In some ways you seem to want to get help by admitting you have a problem but in other ways, you're refusing to change as "you don't want to stop enjoying your food" and "you don't want to stop eating". When did anybody suggest that in order to have a healthy diet that you (a) have to starve yourself and (b) that you can't enjoy food anymore? How do you think the rest of us who are not fat get by? Do you think we don't eat or that we hate food because we don't overload out mouths with an insane amount of food every day?

Also, even if you eat "good" food and not junk, but are eating colossal amounts of it, that will get you fat too. I suggest you actually start some action on this and be honest with yourself. Start a food diary, there are plenty of good online calorie counters. You may weigh 17st now, but if you're eating a huge amount every day, soon you will be over 25st. You need to get a real wake up call here with what you are eating. Go over to the Fitness forum here, g'em has stickies on how to figure out how many calories you need to consume a day. And you wouldn't be so fat if you exercised - join a gym, go out for walks. However you can't still eat the way you do and exercise, most of weight loss is from DIET, not exercise. Otherwise you're kidding yourself.

It only takes 6 weeks to train your body into a new way of thinking. The first few weeks will be hard not stuffing your face all the time, but after that it will get easier. Stop making excuses as well. Just because your job calls on having to eat out a lot, well just get a main course, don't have bread, starter and dessert.

I think you should go see a counsellor though or that OverEating programme.

looksee

Don't underestimate counselling and support OP. The brain can be fooled into believing anything! At the moment it believes you cannot cope without food, you can convince it that you can.

I used to like chocolate. Then I gradually realised that the migraines I was getting were directly related to eating chocolate. So I cut down on the chocolate, telling myself that a bit was ok. Eventually I realised that a bit was not ok, it was still causing migraines. Gradually I put myself off chocolate, the texture turned to lard in my mouth, the flavour was nothing special. Now I do not eat chocolate at all, and I don't miss it. The only problem is that chocolate is in so many things, you would think it was the only flavouring out there.

A yummy slice of cake in a cafe looks lovely, you admire it and anticipate it. You taste it, eat a couple of pieces - then really, after that its just a matter of swallowing it, the main pleasure is in the first couple of bites. That is all you need to enjoy it.

I think you do need to get some professional advice, and maybe there is a medical issue there too, talk to your GP about it.

But mainly you have to train your mind to stop thinking about how deprived you will be if you cut down on the eating, and think positively about your body, train yourself to reject the fatty foods and enjoy small, attractive portions. You don't have to live on steamed fish, but you do need to learn to love yourself enough to eat modestly.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

TBH I am appalled at some of the comments to you. This is a recognised eating issue well documented and under the same umbrella as Anorexia and Bullimia. Overeating usually stems from some deep seeded issue. I currently suffer from this and have now been in counselling for the last year and doing well. Its not a simple case of cutting out sugar or whatever and a habit should form. Its also not a case of somebody fooling themselves thinking they are not as big as they are. The feelings you have are extremely complex with this illness and not IMO to be discussed here as no self asteem goes hand in hand in with this illness and only positive advice and encouragement should be given. Please contact your GP and find a counsellor. From this you will be able to work through your issues and as much as you will be able to identify where it started you will get help to start tackling the eating problem. Please believe me the hardest thing is starting this long road but you will get through this.....I have been in your shoes. Good luck OP Stay strong

ibarelycare

Hi OP, where do you live? I'd completely agree with you about OA/AA/GA (any of the "anonymous" groups with the spiritual/religious undertones). If you're in Dublin there's a clinic in Marino that deals with eating disorders. They do group sessions and individual counselling.

http://www.marinotherapycentre.com/

This is also a great website with lots of resources and information:

http://www.bodywhys.ie/

Don't knock counselling until you try it. Best of luck

LegacyUser

Op here again, just want to respond to Tinkerbell's comments.

Firstly, I'm aware that I'm seriously overweight. I'm aware that I don't appear slim. I mean that my weight doesnt show in terms of I'm not a size 24 which is what another person in a similar weight and height range I know is. My weight is distributed evenly around my body so whereas someone who carries weight in specific parts of their body would appear to be heavier than me, I'm big all over but not massively so. I don't have body dysmporphic disorder or something similar, I am aware of my size but I don't appear to be as large as other people in my weight range.

The problem I have, and the reason I started this thread, is because of exactly what you said - I know I'm slowly killing myself, but I physically and mentally cannot stop eating. I can't control what I eat and when I eat - I have to give into the cravings or the anxiety becomes overwhelming. A relative of a friend who is recently being treated for heroin addiction has said he feels something of the same way when he doesn't get a fix - it's all he can think about and he starts getting withdrawal if he goes for longer than a day without gear. (Obviously heroin addiction is drastically different and I'm not comparing apples with apples but perhaps that may explain the severity of how I feel)

I actually get physical withdrawal symptoms if I don't eat - it doesnt matter what I eat but I have to eat - I get sweaty palms, cannot concentrate, I get emotional, I get stressed, the feeling of hunger is torture to me. My whole life revolves around food and when I am going to eat next. I'm in hell.

I'm based in Dublin, so there are plenty of options available to me. I just don't know where to start.

I realise the selfishness of my eating, I realise that there are people starving in the world and people who cannot face food and have bad relationships with food, but my overeating is not a result of greed. I know how pathetic that sounds and I'm sure many think that it's just a case of wanting more more more but it's not. Eating is a hobby of mine, tasting new foods and experiencing new flavours is something I really enjoy. I don't know how to stop eating the way I am, especially as I can't remember when it all started. I'm not greedy, I'm addicted and I need to figure out how to overcome this addiction whilst maintaining a normal life and diet - this much I'm aware of. I just don't know where to start.

Princess Peach

I can totally relate to a lot of your post!

I've been to counselling about it on and off this year. Definitely helped me when I would go regularly. I know you say you don't know what triggered this, a counselor can really help you to figure that out, figure out what your daily triggers are and teach you some new ways of thinking so you can try to change your lifestyle.

I can't say I've conquered this demon, but I am working on it actively (most of the time :P) I do have relapses of bad habits, most likely due to me not keeping up my psychologist appointments. But I am much better than ways I have been in the past.

Try seeing a professional, what have you got to lose really? But do go in with an open mind. You say you want to change, so believe that this person can really help you.

It may also help to have someone supportive who is close to you. I've always been so very secretive about things, but have tried a little to talk about it. And a person who knows about it told be yesterday how upset he gets that I do these things, and damage my health. Really gave me something to think about. I know how hard it is to tell someone, but if you have a good person, you should try.

cas_k

I totally understand where you are coming from on this.... although from your tone I do not think that you are totally ready to make the necessary changes in your life. I don't mean to preach but your habits are possibly forming liver dieseases, various cancers, diabetes, teeth problems to name a few!!!! Not to mention the fact that you are living half a life... living in a food filled haze along with the constraints that being over weight puts on a young person... and I say that as someone who was overweight in my teens / twenties.

Whereas you seem to enjoy all foods - and I too could binge on just about anything my primary food choice is sweets, chocolate, cakes, biscuits etc. My binges have lead to the downfall of relationships as food was more important to me..... but every high (aka food) has a low and the person I am coming down from the sugar high is not a nice person...

In my late 20's I somehow managed to loose my excess weight and then covered up my food addiction with excessive exercising - but that could not mask the hair loss, bad skin, irrational mood swings and isolation.

This year I decided to make a change once and for all and attended OA.... even though the "God" side of things did not bother me as I am very spiritual I did not find the meetings much help as I just felt that it was giving my problem a label and therefore I began thinking that what I was doing was okay.... after all all these people are doing it too... and they are MUCH worse off than me!!!!

I have sinced joined Slimming World, I know that you said you didn't feel like this helped you... but I found it a HUGE help. Slimming world promotes eating of all foods.... before slimming world I had looked for tips in the health forum on Boards.... my biggest advice to you is STAY AWAY... as it tends to promote low carb etc diets which will eventually put you back onto that binging spiral.

The key to recovery is finding your "STOP" button - perhaps knowing that I have to stand on the scales every week is what helps me... perhaps you could find a dieting buddy, as that can be a real insentive. As another poster mentioned... once the weight starts coming off you will understand what Kate Moss was on about!!!!

As for councelling, this is something that I have yet to try but will make that my new years resolution and kick this habit for once and for all. If anyone knows of a good Dublin based councillor I would be forever grateful if you could PM me the necessary details.

I wish you every luck in the world.... its a struggle and a constant one that as far I know todate, follows you for life... but when you are on top of it you honestly feel that you can conquer the world.

vard

needserioushelp wrote: »

Hi there,

Regular poster going anon.

Long story short, I am a food addict.

Yes, I realise we all need food to live, and I understand that. However, I am literally 100% addicted to food in a way that I realise isn't normal.

I think about food all of the time, as soon as I've finished eating one thing, all I can think about is what I'm going to eat next. I follow all of the food blogs on tumblr/twitter etc and watch all of the cooking programmes - especially the dirty manky ones like Man v Food and Diners, Driver ins and Dives. I'm obsessed with food and having the absolute most tasty things in the world - truffle fries, burritos, steaks, tortellini, polenta, proper Indian food, Zaytoon, desserts - these are my weakness - sweets, marshmallows, coca cola, tea - everything. It's not just unhealthy stuff, I love salmon, fresh green beans, spinach, grated carrot etc etc.

I fantasise about what I'll have if I'm going to a restaurant that I know and love, it's almost to a point where I get seriously aggravated if my plans for dinner don't go ahead. I eat "bold" food in secret (melted marshmallows, slices of bannoffee from local bakeries etc) and have my "staple" foods that I eat every day (bananas, peanut butter on toast, tomatoes) and I find myself feeling anxious if I don't get to eat them.

I eat when I'm happy and I eat when I'm sad, and I eat all of the times in between. I feel physically unwell if I don't eat for more than 4 hours and it's ruining my life.

I've put on over 2 stone in the last year after I discovered a burrito joint around the corner from work and a bakery that does amazing caramel slices.

I'm a female, 24 5ft 8 and currently over 17st (but am built in such a way that I don't look it, currently a size 18). I'm miserable at the fact that I can't stop eating and nothing can change it. My friends and family eat normally, and I cannot pinpoint when my problem with food started either which is doing my head in. I ate like this in my last relationship as well, but more on and off (probably because I had him to impress with the sexytimes!). We had an amicable break up 4 years ago so I don't know what the trigger was as the real problem has only surfaced in the last 2 years.

I also smoke and drink a lot of alcohol, so I'm about 2 years away from a stroke if I keep going the way I'm going.

I've tried getting friends/family to do the tough love thing and tell me if I don't stop eating the way I do, I'm going to die. I've tried telling myself that I'm ugly and if I don't stop eating, I'll never get a boyfriend again. I've tried the going into shops and trying on clothes that are the size I used to be and swearing to get into that size again. Nothing works.

Kate Moss once said "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" - well that's a load of rubbish, and she clearly never tried a Zaytoons!

I've done Slimming World, WW, Unislim, Motivation clinics etc and nothing works, food always wins in the end.

I'm at the end of my tether - food is literally like heroin to me and it has taken over my life. I'd rather eat than have a boyfriend, which is pathetic. Anyone have any advice? I don't want food to ruin my life. I don't want food to kill me. I just cannot stop and I'm so unmotivated to diet or cut out the crap when it tastes so good and makes me feel so good. It's not even about being skinny, I just want food to stop controlling everything I do and affecting my happiness.

I would welcome any advice anyone has.

First step, realising that you have a problem, so congratulations in getting that one out of the way.

From here its down to a bit of hard work and plenty of education.

Losing weight is easy. Unfortunately the same can't be said for breaking bad lifestyle habits.

If you want some practical one to one advice give me a pm. I'd be happy to help and offer some guidance as you go forward.

Richy06

Don't NOT consider low carb diets, OP. Massively cutting your intake of heavily processed carbohydrates in favour of real food and finding a sport that you look forward to (as opposed to something you dread and make excuses not to go to) and you will see huge differences. Do some reading about exactly what you're putting into your body and what it's doing to you - all those rich, fatty, sugary foods. It might just provide the jolt of reality you are searching for?

I was overweight and overeating and depressed for my whole life. About 2 years ago I changed my diet, stopped drinking (maybe 1 time a month now, sometimes not at all) and MOST importantly, found a sport I loved and that I wanted to do as much as I possibly could. Over time I stopped craving the things I used to and my stomach adjusted to the smaller portion sizes - I could no longer eat as much as I used to. 2 and a half years later and my body has almost completely changed. I have never been fitter or happier in myself. But it required me to be honest with myself to a degree I never had before and I was finally able to change my compulsive behaviour.

All the healthy eating in the world isn't good for much of anything if you don't have some sort of exercise/sport to augment it.

Best of luck OP!

Babooshka

needserioushelp wrote: »

Hi there,
I am aware that counselling etc is the obvious solution but my worry is this - how can someone telling me about my relationship with food stop me craving all of the wonderful food in the world - everywhere we turn there are fantastic restaurants, brilliant products in supermarkets, fabulous fresh produce. I travel a lot with my job and eating out is part of the fun - there are just so many amazing foods in the world!

I want to stop eating the way I do, I really do, but I find it hard to believe anything will stop me wanting to eat everything and just wanting to eat salad, steamed fish etc etc. How boring when I could have a curry, a steak, restaurant quality food - it feels as though I'd be depriving myself of something.
.

Are you like that in your attitude about other stuff in life...i.e. all or nothing? you can still have a curry once a week and have chocolate and stuff now and then....just not every day! it sounds like you are thinking about is as though you have to start by eating lettuce leaves and "boring" food only for the rest of your life...you don't, you just need to make a big effort to cut out the excess before your heart gives way.

Remember also that sugar is one of the most addictive things going, the more processed foods you eat, the more your brain tells you that you want, it's an addiction so it needs to be treated and I'd guess that like all addictions you're going to have to wean yourself down from huge portions all the time, to less and less. I wouldn't just start eating salads and veg mostly, too much of a shock to your body. Best of luck, I hope you get there. PS Zaytoon is not that nice!!! I used to eat all that stuff years ago but the less you eat, when you do have it, it will taste over salty and fatty as hell.

Hoochiemama

Id like to just take the following paragraph you wrote:

how can someone telling me about my relationship with food stop me craving all of the wonderful food in the world - everywhere we turn there are fantastic restaurants, brilliant products in supermarkets, fabulous fresh produce. I travel a lot with my job and eating out is part of the fun - there are just so many amazing foods in the world!


And change some words:

how can someone telling me about my relationship with alcohol stop me craving all of the wonderful beer in the world - everywhere we turn there are fantastic pubs, brilliant beers in supermarkets, fabulous foreign produce. I travel a lot with my job and drinking is part of the fun - there are just so many amazing beers in the world!


The clue is in the title of your post.... addiction. I think in some ways it can be harder to accept food as an addiction as it is such a norm in life. Its totally acceptable by society to eat.... but the toll is going to start on your body. It would be so much easier to own up if it was a taboo subject like alcohol or cocaine.

Its basically up to you whether you think this is an addiction. Of course you will tell yourself its not as in the nature of an addict, there is denial.... but deep down, past all the justifications and reasoning, is there a tiny voice that says "this isnt ok".....

If this is what you do feel(I am not telling you what you feel, only you know that) then you owe it to yourself and to your health to get it looked at.

Noone is expecting you to eat salads all the time. Its about controlling your intake. Making this change is about gaining control over something that is controlling you.... Let the weight loss be the last thing on your mind, right now you should be focussing on gaining control over your food intake.

One more thing, the "Spiritual" aspect in alot of these places is not about Jesus Christ, the bible or God.... its about You. Learning to love yourself for who you are. Being good to yourself.... that I think may be the spiritual aspect. People here the word spiritual and they instantly think of catholic church..... the core foundation of every single religion is the same, "love thyself" and I think this is what you should be focusing on if you here the word Spiritual

Best of luck OP xxx

Cerulean Chicken

I'm just like you with food, with lots of what you said. I watch the same programmes, have to eat every 4 hours, fantasise about food (my BIGGEST treat in the world is a slap up meal in a favourite restaurant, any excuse), emotional eater, lots of similarities. I often say I would keep on eating and eating if it wasn't for peer pressure. The only thing that stops me having seconds, thirds, etc when out with friends is the looks I know I'd get from them, I cannot stop myself when I think a food is delicious. I also always say the only thing keeping me from being massively obese is society, again similar to the peer pressure. Being very overweight is frowned upon (rightly so obviously as it's bad for you) so to fit in and be able to do normal things I want to be slim and healthy.

Every day I have to force myself to make the right food choices, not to order the takeaway, not to eat ALL the chocolate, not to go out for dinner, etc, etc. One friend doesn't believe me on this, I'm 5ft 8, about 10.5 stone, so she thinks I'm making it up because I look a "normal" weight. This friend has such willpower, she says no to cake (I don't even understand that), eats until she's just full, never craves goodies, etc, so she doesn't believe I can be like this, with this internal monologue always begging me to eat something nice.

Every single day I have to keep telling myself that I have to eat good food and not too much because being overweight is bad for you, that's it, that's what it boils down to. I would love, love, love, to eat what I want every day, but if I did I'd be huge and unhealthy. So I eat smaller portions of what I want, or I pick the healthy boring option, or order the main dish but not the chips, etc. The only way to really resolve it is - as my Grandad says - push back from the table. The only way to fix a problem like this is to eat less and exercise more. Counselling or some type of professional help (not WW, etc, something that deals with the mental/mind side of it) would help you get to this point, and then it's just about maintenance every day.

Edit: And healthy food can taste amazing too, and if you save the unhealthy/excessive foods for "treats" it's so much more rewarding to eat them then too, you feel proud of yourself and that you deserve to enjoy it.

beks101

Another important thing.

OP, stop reading the food blogs and stop watching the food programmes. You are a food addict - this is absolutely worsening your condition. It's like an alcoholic being let loose in a brewery - straight into the danger zone. Food is the most accessible thing on the planet and you know yourself that if you plant the food fantasy in your head, you'll hold it there until you have fulfilled it in the real world, enforcing your addiction and eroding your self-esteem further every time.

That lack of self-esteem will then lead to comfort eating and more escapism in the form of food fantasies, and the cycle continues. This is something you can do today - switch the TV off, keep away from food websites, only allow yourself to think of food in a functional way.

You're lucky to have a love for the healthy stuff - use that. Write yourself out a weekly meal plan including the salmon and the vegetables and the wholesome foods you enjoy, create a shopping list out of that, set aside the time to prepare your meals for every day of the week and let that be the only time you afford for food in your life from now on.

I know I'm saying this like it's the easiest thing in the world. It's not, it's the toughest thing you'll ever have to do and will be riddled with relapses, when you expect them, when you least expect them. I'm not sure if food addiction is something you can ever 100% get over, food is everywhere and over-indulgence is very often encouraged in social situations. You'll always be at risk, but you CAN take control of it and practice self-awareness to the point where you can handle your triggers in a healthy fashion.

Personally, sugar is my biggest trigger. I don't think I'll ever master the skill of eating a chocolate bar & not immediately feeling like going on a chocolate rampage. I've had anorexia & exercise bulimia & binge eating disorder and the monstrous, out-of-body-experience binges were a feature of all of them, which could have been set off quite literally by a square of chocolate or a few crisps. So I try - and fail, often - but do my damnest to try and keep away from my trigger foods because we simply can't live in harmony together. I don't think you'll ever have a harmonious life either with the "truffle fries, burritos, steaks, tortellini, polenta, proper Indian food, Zaytoon, desserts".

Cut them out. So they happen to be tasty, so what? Are they worth the daily agony, the extreme discomfort, the absolute shame, the humiliation, the despair, the wishing you were dead, the weight gain, hating your body, hiding your body, the lack of control, the hopelessness and the half-life that you're living at the hands of your addiction?

You CAN stop OP, but it's going to take a bloody huge amount of hard work both functionally, in your day to day food interactions, and the important emotional and mental aspect (for which you most definitely need a professional).

The very best of luck to you. Don't give up. Try, try again. You'll get passed this.

username123

Cerulean Chicken wrote: »

I would love, love, love, to eat what I want every day, but if I did I'd be huge and unhealthy. So I eat smaller portions of what I want, or I pick the healthy boring option, or order the main dish but not the chips, etc.

I feel the same way. I could do with losing some weight actually. For me its a constant fight against wanting to eat 'nice' things. And portions. I find myself shocked at things like Uncles Bens boil in the bag rice is a two portion bag - what, there is barely enough in one!

Ive banned the 'dirty' food programs in our house, they are just the worst thing to watch, even if youd just eaten you would eat more watching them.

I exercise a lot - but exercise just makes me more hungry!!

I definitely think you need to consider the counselling, you are getting some great advice off other posters here too.

Taltos

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Taltos

LegacyUser

Hi OP. I've been where you have. If you are serious about really overcoming this and changing your mentality completely, you need to get in therapy. Though I'm sure that's occured to you and you didn't post this thread for people to tell you to get counselling. Here is my advice: You have to find other things in your life that fulfil you and give you meaning. You have to start enjoying your life outside of food. I always used to hear this cliché about how over-eaters are filling an emotional void and I didn't really think it applied to me, but now I see that it is so true. I was not a happy person, I did not feel fulfilled in my life, didn't enjoy doing much and I didn't feel loved or appreciated by the people in my life. I had a fortunate change of circumstances, had other. When you have other sources of happiness, you will feel less inclined to turn to food for comfort.

There's a lot to be said for "force-starting" yourself to lose weight, though it's easier said than done when you have an addiction. You are so subsumed in your habits now that a change of lifestyle seems scary and unachievable. But that's only you being in a rut. When you start to lose weight, you feel so good about that, you have a sense of direction and you become less fixated with eating and more fixated on your goals. You will be a whole other person with a whole new outlook! However, it's important to maintain a balance in this and not switch one eating disorder for another. It often happens with people who already have an addictive personality and a fixation with food. They go from binge eating to anorexia. That's why it's so important to fill your life with other things, so you're not filling a void with either eating or weight loss.

So basically, get a life and get therapy. I don't mean that to sound malicious ha! But seriously, good luck

beks101

happywoman wrote: »

You have to find other things in your life that fulfil you and give you meaning. You have to start enjoying your life outside of food. I always used to hear this cliché about how over-eaters are filling an emotional void and I didn't really think it applied to me, but now I see that it is so true. I was not a happy person, I did not feel fulfilled in my life, didn't enjoy doing much and I didn't feel loved or appreciated by the people in my life. I had a fortunate change of circumstances, had other. When you have other sources of happiness, you will feel less inclined to turn to food for comfort.

This is so true. You are addicted to food for a very good reason. It's quite literally 'filling a hole' in your life and right now you probably don't know what that is, but when your day no longer revolves around when you'll get the next chance to eat and what your next meal will be, you'll realise exactly how much you've been missing out on.

For example, I'm quite a sociable person. I need daily interaction with my friends, I need the nights out, the lunches, the heart to hearts, the chats with colleagues in the corridor, the meeting new people regularly - that's where I shine. When I was dealing with these food issues, I was quiet, anti-social and isolated myself. I didn't want to deal with people because my head was such a mess. I had no confidence - I didn't want anyone to see me, I was embarrassed about any weight gain and obsessed over any physical change, be it half a pound or otherwise.

I'd hazard a guess that this food obsession is hindering your social life similarly. Because it's just so easy to lock yourself away from the world and forget all your problems through a feeding frenzy.

Don't accept that for yourself. Connect with your friends in whatever way you can. Reach out for help, talk to the people close to you. The pain of all this can really heal when it's out in the open, believe me. And often you can find that you're not alone, somebody else that you wouldn't have suspected is struggling in the same way.