ex is pregnant

doubtfir3

Hi all,

I feel as if I've been sucker-punched...

I broke up with my ex girlfriend about a year and a half ago, and we've maintained some form of contact over the last while.

We didn't end on specifically bad terms, but I guess I just realised that we weren't right for each other at that stage.. its a long story but it was best for both of us.

I heard last night that she's pregnant (its not my child), and to be honest, I'm absolutely gutted. We chatted last night and I congratulated her etc and seemed OK about it, but found I couldn't sleep last night and have basically done nothing other than think of it all day today.

I don't know why I'm feeling like this to be honest.. She still means a lot to me, and even though things didn't work out I do wish her all the best etc, but am a little surprised at how much this is affecting me.

I don't really know what I'm looking for here.. I guess just other people's opinions and experiences really.. I'm sure others have been in this situation in the past but wondering how you dealt with it?

Abi

You said by your own admission that you weren't right for each other, and normally your gut feeling is right. You're basically just in a bit of shock really, it doesn't really mean anything.

Sometimes it's a bit of a weird moment when people see their exes with other people, as it's a sign that they've moved on with their lives and you are no longer in it. Seeing her with a bump is a bit of a double whammy.

It's normal to feel like this, and it will pass. Just try to focus on the reasons why you felt it wasn't working out, as I said, our gut instincts are normally right.

miamee

Sorry to hear that OP.

I guess the fact that you both kept in touch and she is so important to you even though you broke up, somewhere in the back of your mind you may have thought she is not right for you now but that some time in the future you may get back together.

Also depending on how long she is seeing this other person, it may have been a huge shock to you which you are still struggling with. Hope you can get your head around it soon, give it a few days to sink in

doubtfir3

Yeah, I guess so... I think its a bit of a shock to me really.. wasn't expecting it.

Like you said Abi, I guess I knew it wasn't working out, but miamee is right too in that I always felt that there *might* be something in the future for us.. this sort of feels like that door is closing now for us.

Its a shock, but I'm feeling a little better about it today... Thanks for the replies!

seachto7

I am also concerned with why exes stay in touch with each other. I think it's best to mentally draw a line when you break up , and try and get on with things as best you can....

tbh

doubtfir3 wrote: »

Yeah, I guess so... I think its a bit of a shock to me really.. wasn't expecting it!

this is exactly the problem - it's a shock, and like all shocks, it'll pass on its own, given time. The idea you had of how the world is has been changed, and it just takes a bit of getting used to, that's all. If you search in PI/RI, you'll see literally hundreds of threads with a similar theme to this one - that doesn't mean that the upset you're feeling is any less, but it should show you that it's perfectly normal. Don't worry - it'll pass.

tony81

"Ah, the one that got away"

You were prob happy with the way your life is going, while your ex decided to get her life into gear a bit faster. Perfectly natural, and it's normal to wonder what might have been.