Money Issues

loubian

I'm 23 and I have money issues. I feel so ashamed. I'm on a roughly good salary, around 1500 every month, but i never seem to have money at the end of the month. I attend counselling with is 300 euro a month, i've to pay my mam and dad money, i have bill pay phone and college fees every month as i set up a DD. My friends and I were planning on going to America next year and it's coming up to the point that we have to start booking. But I have no money, because of the above payouts, and other things. I'm starting to feel pretty selfish about spending all this money on myself.
My friend found this deal and it has to be paid by the end of the month and i can't afford it. Rightly, she got pissed off coz we were meant to be saving, but I just have a lot of things to pay out. I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't have to attend counselling, but i do. My friend asked me to maybe ask my mam for a lend, but my mam will only be back from three weeks in Oz, has her own bills to pay etc, and my mam paid for literally my whole college experience, so i do not like asking her for money now. esp since i have a job and am earning my own money. but i just don't know how i end up with no money at the end of the month. i try to budget, i really do, but i feel so ashamed. my friends make less than me and they can manage. but they get paid fortnightly and i find it so hard dealing with the once a month payments.
Am I being in any way selfish? Am I being cruel? I know it's my own fault that i have no money, and I feel guilty for holding them back. I just don't know what to do. I HATE stressing over money, and i seem to do it all the time. Even when i've just got paid.

woodchuck

Firstly I think you may have to accept that you can't go on that trip to America with your friends. If they're booking things now and you don't have the money, then they'll just have to accept that. Unless you're comfortable borrowing money from someone, but only do this if YOU'RE comfortable with it and not because of pressure from your friends. It sounds like there is a group going? While it isn't nice to miss out, they'll all be ok without you. It would be different if there were just two of you going and it meant the other person was missing out, but that doesn't sound like the case here.

In terms of your budgeting; what exactly do you do? A lot of time people set themselves a budget of how much to spend for that month, but before you can do that you need to figure out where the money is going first. You need to document EVERYTHING you spend money on; from large expenses like bills and counselling down to buying a bar or chocolate or a cup of coffee. Once you see where your money is going, you'll be able to figure out where to trim the fat.

Try not to feel so down about this... it could be a lot worse. It sounds like you're not in debt at least? And you have a job. You're living within your means, which is a lot more than some people can say. If you want to try to save up a bit of money though, maybe try the above advice. While maybe you should've been more upfront with your friends about your financial situation, they shouldn't be making you feel as bad as they are about it.

ManOfMystery

We all stress over money at times. And some people manage money better than other. If you're not good at managing your money on a day to day basis and find yourself running out at the end of the month, then you really need to sit down with pen and paper and work out where it's going.

It's just maths. Money doesn't disappear into a black hole. If you don't have enough at the end of the month, it's because you have spent it on something.

Open a spreadsheet on your computer and start tracking what you're spending every day. I mean EVERYTHING - even if it's a 10p chocolate bar, put it in there. It all adds up.

Arrange your payments for regular bills/etc so that they come out at the start of the month and this will give you a clear indication of how much spending money you have left for the rest of the month - this is easier than losing track of your spending and suddenly being faced with big bills halfway through the month or near the end. Divide what's left by 4, and you have your weekly allowances. If you want to save some money each week, you need to subtract this out also. It's up to you then to be disciplined and stick to whatever allowance you've set yourself each week. Personally I find it easier to take my weekly amount out in one lump sum (in cash) and put it in my wallet, I then know how much I'm eating into it by the time I get to Wed/Thurs. If you're constantly taking out small amounts from a cash machine you'll only fool yourself as to how much you're actually using.

Of course, managing the money is only one side of the coin - what you're spending it on is another. Are you blowing money on frivulous things - gadgets, eating out a lot, etc? Can bills be reduced by switching to cheaper providers, etc? Start looking at what you're actually spending it on and separate the 'luxury' items (computer games, CDs, whatever) from the absolute neccessities (heat, shelter and food). Can you reduce your expenditure on luxury items?

loubian

@woodchuck, thanks for the advice. It's kind of nice to feel like i'm not wrong in being hurt by them. We've been planning on going to america since leaving school five years ago, and I should be able to afford it by looking at what i get every month. but it's just these last few months have been hard because of all the stuff i had to repay. i don't really like borrowing money from people because it just cuts into my next months wage and i'm in the same situation again, so i try not to borrow. and yes, it is a group of us going. well, three of us, and meeting a fourth over there. I will try that money diary, i think it would help.

@manofmystery, thank you too for the advice, ill take your idea into account too. i dont buy too many frivulous items, i mostly spend my money on food so i realise i've to start making my lunch and bringing it in, as that will really reduce my payouts for the month. Thanks again, it's good to know i'm not alone here.

ManOfMystery

I used to buy lunch every day and always thought what the hell, it's just a couple of pounds here and there. Then I added it up - sandwich, drink, apple, yoghurt usually amount to £4.50 or so per day on average. That's £90 a month, usually more if I decided to eat out for lunch somewhere or have dinner out too.

Now I buy a loaf of bread, some filling, packs of apples and multipack yoghurts in the shop on a Monday. I drink water or sugar free dilute orange, which is cheaper and mostly healthier than soft drinks. All that lasts me the week and expenditure per month is now about £40 max. It's usually even less as I also make a huge pot of pasta or curry some nights for dinner and that lasts me a few days for lunch too.

That £50+ a month saving is £600 per year - it will pay for a holiday, Xmas pressies, car insurance, etc. Stick the money in an account somewhere and let it build up for a rainy day.

JuliusCaesar

Ask your counsellor if they can temporarily/forever put you on a cheaper rate. Most counsellors have spaces on their caseloads for 'sliding scale' clients.

loubian

loubian wrote: »

It's kind of nice to feel like i'm not wrong in being hurt by them.

I don't understand why you feel hurt by them?

If you want to go to America you're going to have to cut other expenditures. If you don't want to cut expenditures, you're going to have to tell your friends that you're not going to America. But it's not fair leaving them waiting for the go ahead from you. You should give them an answer ASAP.

As for the food, I know how tempting it is to buy lunch/snacks each day, but it's really not worth it. Water is free, it's best to keep a bottle and fill it up rather than buying drinks every day. A sandwich or roll can cost between €2-€5 as opposed to buying bread and fillings that last a week. It's one of those things that can really run away from you if you let it. I'd say that's your first place to cut costs if you're interested.

tony81

€1500 isn't that much & certainly not enough to save while also repaying debt (I assume college fees are debt) or medical expenses. It's just not a good time for you. Too bad you don't have more money left over, maybe you can start saving next year! That's life!

As for your friend, look there's no reason friends need to experience a different country together. Fact is, a lot of friends don't travel well and end up falling out. Other people have a much better experience on their own. Do you really need to go travelling with your friend? And what's with your friend that she feels she can only go travelling with you? She's a grownup too so she'll just have to learn to deal with life's little problems or, even better, she could fund the trip for you? (i bet you she didn't offer you that!)

Anyway, stop stressing over your friend and definitely stop stressing over money. You have plenty of money to pay for the essentials, your parents and your counselling. At this stage in your life that's all you really need. Sit down and write a list of things you'd like to achieve over the next 5 years and really put some thought into how you can make these happen. That is a much better idea that to flit away money on a trip to America you can't afford.

PS your counselling fees should be tax deductible so you may get 20% back if you're paying income tax. If you have private health insurance you may be able to claim money back from the insurer.

JimmyCrackCorn

What works for me is 3 Accounts

1. Where My card works and I can control budget. With internet banking i can move move in 5 min if needs be.

2. A bills and Direct debit account.
At pay time i Lodge projected rent, Direct debits, bills ect in here. It should then remain untouched bar outgoings till next pay cycle.

3.Savings account
Here Is where remainder stays. I only move weekly budget to main account and it becomes very quick to see if your blowing budget as you will have to dip in again.


Excel is your friend and with the account history all separated its easy to see where money is going.

ibarelycare

When I started my current job last year, it was my first time in my life being paid monthly and I found it really difficult. I've a good salary but I'm just awful with money and when I get paid I'd just keep spending and avoid checking my bank account for a week, and then I'd realise I've feck all money left for the rest of the month :rolleyes:

It took me over a year to finally sit down and do a budget but it's really working for me. I just have to be strict with myself.

Before I get paid every month I do out a little spreadsheet with all my vital expenses for the month e.g. rent, bills, petrol, medication, bus fare, loan repayment, etc.

I subtract all them from my monthly salary and whatever I'm left with, I work out how much I have weekly to do me until my following pay day. Then I reduce that by €20 a week (in case of emergencies) and I take that amount out once a week, and that's basically my allowance for the week! I've stopped using my laser card all the time and pay everything in cash so I can keep track of what I'm spending. I'm usually left with a bit at the end of the month (the €20 per week, if I haven't needed it) and that either gets saved, goes on a treat/luxury or, at the moment, goes on Christmas presents.

I carry the little spreadsheet around in my purse and check my bank account every few days, so when expenses come out I can cross them off my list. It's basically like a little bank reconciliation!

It's also made me so much more careful about what I'm spending my money on. I rarely buy lunches now, I always bring them in. All those little things add up.

Hopefully something like that will work for you, and you'll be able to put away a bit each month to save towards America.

loubian

I just want to thank you all for your advice. It's been really helpful, and quite calming to know that I'm not the only one who has trouble keeping an eye on their money. Ibarelycare, that's exactly what i'm doing right now, and it needs to stop. All of you have mentioned writing down everything that I am spending, and I am going to start today. This will not get better, it'll just keep getting worse until I'm in more trouble. I need to keep track of it from now on. Thank you for your kind words.

jimmycrackcorm

Give up the counsellor and put that 300. Whatever reason you have to go is being replaced by another form of unhappiness.