a long-lasting friendship evolving?

LegacyUser

Thought i'd ask some boardsies for advice/thoughts/opinions/perspectives here-Thank you all in advance!

Basically, i know this guy for six years now. We met in first yr in college, became great friends and our friendship became stronger and stronger over the years. We have confided in each other about everything, shared secrets, have a slightly eccentric sense of humour and a similar strong work ethic.

Over the years during our friendship he went out with plenty of people, all short flings and never anything really long-lasting. Likewise, I had my fairshare of fun and flings. Through out we remained friends, he'd tell me everything and we were very close.

Now this is where it gets a bit more complicated...
One night we were both hammered and kissed in private. He didn't want others to see so we sneaked off. It was admittedly an unreal kiss full of tension!
The next day we talked about it, he said he saw me as a friend and that we were just drunk and it was something which we would look back on and laugh about.
I was a bit upset because I suppose a part of me realised after that that I was developing feelings for him but got over it, kinda.

Anyway, fast forward, a year later, (having kept my feelings at bay and just valued having an incredible friend who I adored and we were as close as ever, if not even better friends), we were out recently and I was talking to him. I was chatting to another friend of ours and could feel him staring at my face as I was chatting to this mutual friend. Later, I was not really drinking, but he was, he sat down beside me and we started talking. He began to tell me that no one knows him better than I do......I laughed and said "i know, and sometimes i think you know me better than i know myself". Then we kinda had this funny moment where he looked at me and said " i think this puts us both in a difficult position".....I was caught off guard, wasn't really sure what he was hitting at, was afraid I was mininterpreting what he was saying so kind of just stared at the table and said "I know what you mean." Literally then one of his friends came over and interrupted us at the worst moment ever and so the conversation was never completed.

That night in the bar one of the lads told me he likes me when i jokingly asked " find me a man here!", although not sure if this was true!

Anyway, i guess what i'm asking is, is what do boardsies think that my best guy friend was getting at?I'm very confused, don't want to make assumptions and somewhat lost as to where this is going because in a few months time our lives are going to change drastically and chances are our friendship will never be as close, so if keeping him means changing our friendship to something more, it's a risk I'd be willing to commit to, if that makes sense.

squonk

Not being smart but why don't you ask him? You're both great friends and what happened happened. The whole episode from the bar is sufficiently vague really and it could well be that he feels something for you but it could be something else too. I just don't know from reading and I think you both need to finish that conversation.

As an aside, do you not maybe think that you're a bit too close as well. It's not a bad thing but that in intself can cause various feelings to occur that may not necessarily be the real deal.

The bottom line though is that you both need to finish that conversation and get whatever it is out in the open. I'm sure lots here will have varying opinions of what your friend meant or didn't mean but the only one who can really answer that definitively is your friend, so I'd make that my first port of call.

Pippy1976

isthisthebeginning wrote: »

One night we were both hammered and kissed in private...

I was not really drinking, but he was...

Both times he had alcohol on him. I wouldn't act on any gut feeling you have OR on the flippant comment from your other friend that this guy likes you without being 100% sure.

I'd follow this up with a chat with no alcohol involved. If you're as good friends as you seem to be you should be able to talk about this without any adverse effects to your friendship (if, it turns out, he doesn't fancy you).

If he does... then you're very lucky.

LegacyUser

Id agree with first poster there, both times he was drunk- Fellas and girls do funny things drunk.
Have a friend who we got close pretty quickly and he acted like that when we out together but he had me mixed feelings, holding my hand, dancing real close, me falling for him and him not interested at all (i told him how i felt) .. we're better friends now though- all feeling gone.

We dont know your friend, but you need to speak to him sober and see what he says.
If you're good friends, he will understand that you need to know.

Good luck!