up in the air literaly!!!

NeedAnonAdvice

ok so i need some advice that im hoping you's can help me with...

basicly i met this fantastic guy two years ago(we met on a dating site) and we didnt meet for in or around six months .we spent everyday emailing ,eventually swapping numbers and proceeding to send a ridiculous amount oftexts and phone calls everyday. to say we clicked in a bizarre way would be an understatement... so anyway we became each others confidants and cheesily each others best friends and essentially what happened was that this guy ,well call him *mike* decided he was too scared to meet me because hed grown so attached that he was worried that when we did eventually meet ,if i wasnt what hed "invisioned" and didnt click as much face to face that he would be losing something/someone that he valued so much ( i know this is long but the back story is important!!) so we decided eventually to meet christmas eve eve.. and sparks flew it was fantastic.. we started a relationship fell in love.. unfortunatly i have a slightly toxic family whuch i will easily admit i have developed issues from.. mike was very supportive ,went to therapy with me ,did everything fantasticly. we had a pregnancy that didnt go to full term and i and no doubt and mike,struggled with this .it put alot of strain as did my family on our relatiinship and i necame very closed off and down which resulted in a hospital situation. we then decided to stop seeing each other so i could focus on what i needed to focus on but we never stopped loving each other. (im nearing the end i promise) so anyway,i wasnt coping and decided to go to spain for a month .mike was upset about this but understood that i needed the break.the situatiin was left in terms that we both love each other to the ends of the world but we needed to get some things in order and in a few months time when feelings were healed we would start again.. so i went to spain and emailed him on the week the baby should hav been due saying that i hoped he was ok and that i was thinking of him , i received an email back saying thank you but he wanted no further contact from me .i had considered staying in spain a while longer but in the end i came back because i was miserable without him , i informed him i was coming home that i missed him and loved him and what occured has left me feeling very low..he redirected my calls and texts and does not wish to have further contact. i know he loves me because he has told me in no uncertain terms and i know the cause of the redirecting is that he is very much struggling with wha..ts happened..i guess the problem is that im not sure what to do. im missing the other half of me and i dont know if its best to respect his wishes or to try and giv him the support that he needs. and so willingly gave to me!
please help

Lorna123

It appears to me that you left him high and dry just when he needed you most and now he is giving you a taste of your own medecine. So you will just have to wait this one out until he feels ready to talk to you. Your first step is to come home.

NeedAnonAdvice

he had ended the relatiinship before i decided to go to spain as he thought i neededto concentrate on healing . that wasnt my choice.

LegacyUser

I think you should respect his wishes and leave him be.
You are not looking to support him by wanting him back, its only for yourself and that's not fair no him.

If he wants you back he'll get in contact. Otherwise just leave ie

miec

Hi Op

I feel very sad for both of you in this situation. The difficulty is there is not very much you can do at this stage other than mind yourself. I would write your ex a long letter on 1) how you feel, 2) what has gone and 3) that the door is open if he should choose to come back to you. There isn't really much else you can do and sadly you will have to respect his need for distance but I think the letter saying the door is open if he wants at least lets him know there is an option if he wants.

I would concentrate on looking after yourself, also do you think you allowed your family to interfere too much in your life / relationship? Are you able to put distance between them and you so they don't affect you so much?

NeedAnonAdvice

hi miec ,

thank you for the advice,i would love to write him a letter. i do feel we had too much pressure from a few different angles that have caused sadness for the both of us. we were more or less living together and hes since moved acomodation ,whuch i really dont blame him im sure it was really tough in terms of memorys staying there ,i mean i had more or less a nervous breakdown from everything and moved to spain so im not surprised he moved aswell.i dont know where hes moved to either or if hes with people so i dont know if theres people looking after him and making sure hes ok (previously we lived with his family so i knew if things got too bad they were there emotionally). i really do love him i dont know what to do. i dealt with everything so badly. he told me in his email that he is seeking therapy and its physicly hurting my heart that hes doing it alone..