For those who are out - when meeting new people...

fkt

This isn't an issue as such, I'm just interested... It's something I've thought about alot lately.

When you meet a new person, and you think there's potential for a friendship/acquaintanceship, do you try in some way to inform them that you're LGBT? Or are you happy to meet up with them and let your sexuality casually slip into the conversation as you get to know eachother? I'm just wondering really how one avoids the situation of making friends with somebody, and then after a month of knowing them they discover your sexuality and they're not so comfortable with it. It's a bit... awks!

I try to avoid screaming it down everyone's throat at our first meeting to avoid coming across as attention seeking/paranoid/obsessed! But then there's times where I think 'I should get this out of the way to make sure they're okay with it'. It's also relevant for when it's someone of the opposite gender and they might be trying you on

Irish Aris

awks for them you mean??

I agree with you that I wouldn't throw it on other people on first meeting. Over the years, personal observation showed that if people know you a bit and know that you are an OK person, your sexuality is just a part of that picture and it is less likely to annoy them as such, it will just be a part of who you are (although it does seem to me, people that are not comfortable with it, would avoid bring it up).
Having said that, if, in the beginning of an acquaintance/potential friendship, someone asks me about my sexuality straightforward, he will get back a straight answer. . .that I'm not straight, that is.

Butterface

I've had a few situations where I've just assumed a new friend knew I was gay, especially if I met them through other friends or as part of the same social circle. Then when they find out, they usually seem a bit surprised or annoyed because I never said anything. Since I've gone back to being a student and I'm meeting a lot of new people, I find that I get it out of the way fairly early on.

I once had an awkward situation where it turned out a woman I worked closely with at work didn't know, but all of my other colleagues did. I had assumed she would have heard since we were working together for years, but then one day she just came out with "so is *insert male friend's name* your boyfriend?"... I was so stumped by that, it took me another few weeks to actually tell her because I was afraid she'd be offended at being literally the last person in the workplace to find out!

Aurongroove

I could probably tell you a dozen thing you ought to do but in reality what usually happens is you have to deal with each case on with your own wits.


I normally tend to behave as if people already know, but with a certain sense of tactful ambiguity. That way if anyone is extremely homophobic or something you can fish it out of them before making a scene.

baby and crumble

I don't really know what I do... I think I just talk normally and if it comes up it comes up. I mention my gf a lot though, so that helps.

Goodshape

baby and crumble wrote: »

I don't really know what I do... I think I just talk normally and if it comes up it comes up.

Same as that. It'll come up if it's relevant.. if not, then it's not. And I try not to worry about it either way. I have gotten a couple of muted gasps or visual wtfs but I'd usually just ignore that and move on with the conversation or whatever. Don't think it's ever become a "bit deal" with anyone.

deuve82

Keep it simple: a heterosexual one doesn't need to say "hey, I'm heterosexual", so is the same for you. Talk about your bf/gf openly, if your new friend doesn't like gay people, doing this you're saving time

Petey89

i wouldnt say anything if i was talking to new people I dont think it should make a difference, im not guna introduce myself with "hey my name is and im gay" sounds like some kinda gay a.a meeting lol, Im back in college now and when I started I was just chatting to everyone and it didnt come up in conversation but when people were talking about there gf/bf's I talked about my bf and then they knew and no one took any notice of it, im not camp or anything like that so no one really knows if im gay when they first meet me. dont think it matters when your meeting new friends they should like you for you not for your sexual oreintation.