Oh dear god

LegacyUser

22 year old guy here in the closet!

Somehow up to over 5500 cached images from grindr made their way onto my dads phone, had left sd card out and he started using it! the pics did not come up on my phone before!

Basically mother has just seen all the pics, some quiet explicit!

She is asking serious questions of me , i dont know what to do/say.

I already admitted it was my sd card. Didnt explain anything else.

Really not ready to come out

L.Jenkins

I can imagine it's hard to be outed like that. I will stress safety regarding technology from now on, but I'd be preaching to the choir. Do feel pressured to come out, only when you're ready.

Shakti

hope your folks are supportive and as itzy said don't feel pressurised it's your business and up to you if you want to share it with anyone.

Aurongroove

I feel for you pal. Nasty thing to happen.
If it's just the images, and you want to lie, you better come up with something like it was a trojan app that downloaded the images and tried to use your phone to share them or something.

Pretend not to know the full story, only that you looked it up on-line and found a way to delete the programme. Hopefully your parents are of the age where computers are still new things and the difference between spam mail, viruses, spy ware, trojan programmes are a big enough gray area for your cover story to hide in.


The other option is to have the difficult talk early... I wouldn't wish it on anyone to be dragged out before they're ready, but hopefully your parents will be understanding.

I'm not sure how ballsy one can behave under this sort of pressure, but you may even be able to turn it to your advantage, tell them the cover story (that the images wound up there because of some sort of spam-ware virus) but also play the angle, that if they're quite upset by it that they may need to grow up.
Perhaps you'd wished the images were naked ladies, and then you mightn't have deleted the "virus"!

LegacyUser

today has being a very strange day!

Mother confronted me out straight again to explain the situation.

I just didnt know what to say, she was very worried about me .

She eventually asked me "Am I gay"? I ignored.

Asked again, " I dunno maybe " , Yes maybe , I am , is that a problem? It was just the easiest way out of this situation.

It eventually came out, she left upset and worried and confused i think.

I didn't know what to think, wallowed in pity for myself in bed once again.


She then came back to my room a few hours later and basically told me whatever will be will be and she has my support which was quiet remarkable in such a short space of time. She had her suspicions but was still very shocked as she classes me as "normal", masculine etc - yes stupid typical stereotypes!!

Her main concern was for me to talk to her if i ever need to.

So basically from having no intention of coming out to someone so close anytime soon to my mam finding out like this has being strange and has left me a little perplexed!

Kinda of a little relieved i guess.

Thanks for the above, it all just happened so quick , the truth was just the easiest option!

brokenice

exactly, truth is easiest, well done, that's a load off your chest now...in time you'll look back at this and laugh!

bikeman1

OP,

That's a scarily similar story to mine, except I was 18. My "mishap" was my mam, searched my web history on my pc to check up what I was spending all my time on, not just porn mind you. She was surprised to find it was men and not girls I was looking up.

Like you I was asked straight out by her, and said the same as you. Her reaction was also one of surprise, but it kind of made sense to her. Her advise was to be careful, as being gay had it's risks, I said being straight does as well. She then said it "may be a period you're going through".

Anyway, that was a few years ago now, and I look back at it with a laugh. I was glad, that that was out of the way, without ever it expecting it. At least it wasn't building up inside me any longer. I could then be free to be who I wanted to be. It took another 2 years to fully come out to everyone that mattered and be an open gay 23 year old "normal" guy living / working in a very straight envoirnment, that I am now.

OP, you are lucky you have the support of your mother, which some guys/gals don't have about their sexuality.

wandatowell

This story made my day. Well the end of it did anyway.

oisindoyle

notveryhappy22 wrote: »

today has being a very strange day!

Mother confronted me out straight again to explain the situation.

I just didnt know what to say, she was very worried about me .

She eventually asked me "Am I gay"? I ignored.

Asked again, " I dunno maybe " , Yes maybe , I am , is that a problem? It was just the easiest way out of this situation.

It eventually came out, she left upset and worried and confused i think.

I didn't know what to think, wallowed in pity for myself in bed once again.


She then came back to my room a few hours later and basically told me whatever will be will be and she has my support which was quiet remarkable in such a short space of time. She had her suspicions but was still very shocked as she classes me as "normal", masculine etc - yes stupid typical stereotypes!!

Her main concern was for me to talk to her if i ever need to.

So basically from having no intention of coming out to someone so close anytime soon to my mam finding out like this has being strange and has left me a little perplexed!

Kinda of a little relieved i guess.

Thanks for the above, it all just happened so quick , the truth was just the easiest option!

Congrats and well done for coming out ,even if it was a tad earlier than expected .
Great reaction from your mum ,Remember she is going to have LOADS of questions as well and misconseptions about "gay people"
The fact that she thinks you are "normal" masculine ect etc kinda proves that ..Sit down with her and answer any questions /worries she might have ( and she will have ).

Be frank and honest with her and if shes still worried ect ect you could always advise her (or even you could do it) to fone th GSD and ask for the parents support groups number .
Good luck and congrats again

LegacyUser

Nearly a week gone by!

Thanks for all the support.

Left for college last Sunday so I wasn't at home too long but everything seems ok so far.

I guess its just a stepping stone, not really totally happy about it and how it happened but hopefully its the end of the drama for a while.