Don't know what to do.

LegacyUser

I met this guy about a month and a half ago, and have been seeing him regularily since. I went over to his this time last week and was there pretty much the whole week. He does this thing by taking my phone and i don't like it, so i take it off him, n he makes a noise like he's surprised i'm taking it off him. i told him that it's so rude to do that, without asking, and he said it's so he can feel safe with me. now, when he did do it, he only looked at my pictures but still.. anyway, he said i could do the same with him, and i wasnt' going to until i looked without his permission. i know i was in the wrong but he forgave me for it, but thing is i found him texting other girls saying he fancied them and that he wanted to meet with them. he says they're friends, that he knew them before he met me and that he stopped texting them when he met me, but the texts are dated like 19.22. 26 oct, some of them being sent when i sitting right next to him. none of the texts are sexual, but i just don't know what to do. he has said he's never met them (he met them online, same way we did) and that he doesn't want anything to do with them. i'm not using it as an excuse, but he is from nigeria and i think their values are completely different (regarding the taking of my phone, perhaps its just natural for them, but i don't know). i know it sounds really bad, but he has texted all those girls now saying he has a gf (he did it in front of me) and the way he looks at me makes me feel like i'm the only girl in the world. i'm still trying to get over my ex and i got upset once when i was with him, and he promised me he wouldn't hurt me, but here we are.. do you think i'd be stupid to take him back?

Stavro Mueller

Your gut instinct is telling you this is wrong, isn't it? Otherwise you'd not have taken the trouble to post here.

You're in a vulnerable place just now because you're still getting over your ex. You're probably feeling lonely, a bit low and craving male attention. Now you're with a guy who's making the right noises and making you feel good about yourself. But, do you trust him? Really? Be honest with yourself. This talk of cultural values is a mere smokescreen. Your phone is your private property and nobody should ever feel they have the right to go through it. There are married couples who'd never dream of going through their partner's messages, pics etc.

Now we get onto the real red flag here. Those other women. These are the only ones you know about. Now why do you think he's so interested in these other women? Do you really think they're just "friends" or does he have another motivation?

Either way, my advice to you is to end this, take time out to properly get over your ex and don't date again until you're less vulnerable.

desbrook

You know what to do .... run! He sounds dangerous ... perhaps not physically but emotionally . This is before we talk about these other girls ... you know he's lying don't you? Run!

Meauldsegosha

To answer your question, yes it would be stupid to take him back. If you are still trying to get over your ex stay away from relationships altogether. Give yourself some time. You are vulnerable at the moment and he seems to be playing on that by telling you want you want to hear.

Herrick

guestthistime1 wrote: »

he said it's so he can feel safe with me. now,

i found him texting other girls saying he fancied them and that he wanted to meet with them.

he says they're friends, that he knew them before he met me and that he stopped texting them when he met me, but the texts are dated like 19.22. 26 oct, some of them being sent when i sitting right next to him.

Some friends if he's telling them he fancies them. Even funnier him saying he wanted to know he can feel safe with you when he's the one texting other girls.

He had already lied to you. He said he stopped texting them when he met you, but yet was still texting them while you were beside him. He has zero respect for you, he only text them saying he has a gf cause you caught him!

He sounds like a right creep.