Eighteen year old giving it up for November maybe longer

Talib Fiasco

Alright guys how're ye doing. This is my first official post in this forum but I've been lurking for a while.

A little background: 18 year old lad from Cork going to college in Limerick. College is alright like. Anyway yeah as ye are all probably aware partying and heavy regular drinking is kinda a dictator at my age and at this stage of my life and even after about two months of it seriously I'm well sick of it and nows the time to give it a break.

I first started drinking when I was 12 and started getting seriously into and getting heavier on it when I was about 16. I quickly became known as a lad who could handle a rake of drink and be reliable to act the tool at a party...Getting totally ****faced is the norm with me. I'd say I've only had a handful of nights where I'm still somewhat sober at the end of the night.

Well we all know drink can be a demon and I think in my case it definitely is.... I've lost friends and girls over my antics due to drink and honestly I don't even think I've proper real friends anymore and eventhough it's not fully to blame, drink definitely gave it a good kick.... There is a history of alcoholism in my family...most notably my uncle who passed away over 10 years ago due to liver cancer from the drink. But it's all through the family.... My parents once told me that they fear I've got that 'gene' in me and at the time I said they were being foolish but you know what as time goes on I'm starting to believe that more.

Now I don't think I'm an alcoholic yet but I think if I don't cop on fast I could very well end up outta college and outta home as a result of drink. I've tried moderation but it just doesn't work for me.... Once I start I can't stop until the pockets are empty.... I've spent thousands alone this year on drink and going out and have put my health in serious risk.... I'm a naturally skinny lad and I haven't put on hardly any weight but I notice my heart and chest has regular pains and I notice I'm caught for air alot easier than normal. I used be really fit with sport but due to school and other stuff that was neglected and was quickly replaced by the less work needed pint or naggin....

So yeah guys I'm thinking of giving it up for this month. As ye all know last night was Halloween and I was violently drunk...puked my ring up and said some really bad stuff to loads of people. The looks I got off ppl today would make ya cry.... I've really ****ed myself over bad and I feel so terrible. I'm struggling to make strong friendships already and now ppl who I used to be fairly friendly with are barely even looking at me. I know it's only after one night but I've been really drunk a handful of times and I'm slowly losing friendships or what ever you wanna call it.

I suffer from slight depression too and drink has always been a means of blocking out the world and drinking away the pain...has to stop though. I'm putting myself, my family and everyone I see/meet in danger. I'd definitely consider myself a liability when I'm out drinking.

So yeah November will hopefully be a clean sober month.... I'll try and update my progress here every so often if I manage to stay on the wagon.

Guys have ye any advice for me or what have you...just anything at all like. Any questions just shout. I know I left some stuff out there but I'm ridiculously tired.

Sunnyisland

Doing a 30 day alcohol free month is a good idea for a start, you need to get a plan in place to fill in the time of when you were drinking,going back to old or new hobbies may help.Coming up to Christmas you will have a lot of peer pressure to just have the one,You need to be steadfast in your determenation to not drink if that is what you want to do, good luck and remember nothing changes if nothing changes.

hubba

Best of luck and you will feel a whole lot happier as alcohol makes depression worse. Not to mention the physical side, getting more, good quality sleep, head clear. You'll enjoy it.

Talib Fiasco

^^Thanks for the advice guys, appreciate it!

So I guess this is day 2...feeling fine and focused. Last night a few of my friends were heading out but I decided to stay in so yeah no drinking for me. I mainly stayed in due to tiredness and sickness left over from Wednesday night but yeah felt good being a little responsible for once...I'm looking forward to trying out going out sober though and staying that way for the night...I think I'll stay in all next week to catch up on college work which is badly needed but yeah I must try it and experience it. I'm loving the idea of having a fresh head the morning after a night out and still having your dignity and money in tact.

hubba

Well done so far. After a few days, as good as you might feel physically, mentally you might begin to weaken, the demons can start to play tricks with your mind and catch you off guard and next thing you know it you're in the pub on your third pint. I found that keeping a list of the big reasons why I quit in the first place close at hand really helped during those moments.And happy studying with a clear head. I wish I'd had the sense to do what you are doing Waaaay back when I was in college!</p>

Bergkamp 10

Best luck mate, I'm in a very similar situation except 2 years older. And my god what a waste of two years that was, down to drink mainly!

I'm in the same boat re November, funny enough a good few people seem to go sober for Novemeber not any easier though. I actually dropped out of college partly due to drink, my advise dont give into peer pressure. Join a sports club who train etc. And if needs be ignore or drop any new "friends" who pressure you to drink. College is a big place , theres bound to be likeminded souls in there. Hopefully when I go back I find some too and not the usual heads on the sauce 24/7 slowly destroying themselves. Gluk neway

okiss

I would not be worried about your drinking buddies/friends who may think your an idiot for not going out drinking or drinking 7up ect on a night out but you have to consider you own life, long term future and health.
You have told us that your suffer from slight depression and drink will only make this worse for you as achool is a depressive.
When your in college you should get involved with some new groups, learn new skills cheaply ie diving and broaden the skills which can help you get a job. In 12 months time you still want to be in college when some of your drinking buddies could be at home on the dole.

I am sure that over the past few months you have not been eating well as you have been keeping your money for drink. If there is a Tesco near you they have Tesco own brand multi vitimans with Iron for €2-€3 for a month and I would take these for a few months. I would also start to eat more fruit, veg and cook proper food. If you do this and stay off the drink you will be looking and feeling far better by Christmas.

It's good that you have realised that you may have a problem now rather than wasting your life in a pub. If you think that you need help I would contact alcoholics anonymous or look up there website http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie. They have a quiz here which may help you decide if you need there help.

I know a few people who are fond of drinking and I am sharing there stories as I hope they will help you stay off the drink.
J is now in his late 30's. He failed his 1st year college exams but got a job after this. Since then he has been working on and off. J still lives with his parents and drives a right banger of a car. He looks older that the lads he went to school with. Meanwhile J friends have good jobs, some are married with families, have nice cars and have traveled further than the local pub over the past 20 years. Also he has lost these friends due to the way he acted over the past few years. J friends are the old lads drinking when he was in national school.

L got married in his 20's and had a family. His marriage broke up due to his drinking. By the time L was in his mid 40's he had liver failure. He was told for years before this to stop drinking as this would happen. Before he died looked dreadful and was yellow when he died.

iusedtoknow

well done for at least knowing that you want to stop. That is part of the battle. The above advice is all golden, stay focused, join a club or society where you have to peak on a Saturday or Sunday morning is ideal - maybe rowing or soccer.
The other thing I would recommend, aside from AA (if you feel that neccessary, do it - i for one am not a fan, but it doesn't discount the good work they do) is to pick up one of the Alan Carr books. It'll help change your attitude to drink completely. He's attitude fundamentally is not not see yourself as an alcoholic but rather just as someone that doesn't drink alcohol for numerous reasons (read the book, it'll open your eyes a bit)

I made some really stupid mistakes in my early 20's down to drink, and I now can do the same activities I enjoyed then (going to gigs, nights out on the tiles with friends) but without drink.

Stay busy, stay focused and think about the good things that will come from your life without alcohol, rather than thinking about the bad. The gremlin will come back every so often, the important thing is not to listen to it.

Talib Fiasco

Cheers for all the advice/ support guys....but

I caved in thursday night....I considered lying on here and saying I was still going strong but I know it's better to be truthful, accept the consequences and start again...

Got two assignments done perfectly and handed in on time this week and the whole year was in celebratory mood....I was down for a night out and up to mid-day on thursday I'd it stuck in my mind that I'd go sober....the lads accepted this because I told them I think I was developing a problem....even though they called bs, they respected it....

So yeah in college, ppl tend to drink in houses before the club instead of a pub due to cost and my place was put fwd because the lads knew I could bring a crowd...it was agreed it'd be mine...the buzz got to me and we left college a few hours early to get drink....at this time I still had it in my mind that i was staying sober....went to tesco....saw a deal for 18 cans of bulmers for €24....got a naggin too....the rest is history/a blur....I'll admit the night was alright besides gettin kicked out of a club for getting sick on the bar but no the guilt hit me as soon as i sobered up at about 3am...

Sorry guys, I still feel terrible...I lasted about 7 days....

I'm more motivated now though....I saw a leaflet on drink problems and they'd a checklist there and I answered yes to a good lot of them...they also included a plan and snaglist among other things there....hopefully I can take this seriously now....I know for a fact I can last one week but the more times I cave in the more likely it'll re-occur in a shorter period....

Sorry guys.

YellowFeather

Hey OP

Well, firstly, fair play to you for not only realising you had an issue (especially at such a young age), but also for deciding to do something about it. I have seen alcoholism on both sides of my family and it's a horrible insidious creature that changes people completely. Whether it's a disease or not is something I'm not qualified to say, but, at the very least, it's an obsession, which screws up your priorities until drink becomes the most important thing in life, fecking up everything else in the process!!

So, yeah, you fell down after a few days. It can be very easy when that happens to say "fuck it. I'll try again later or there will be a better time", but you know why you need to step back from the drink, so you have to keep trying.

Now, you can't be too hard on yourself, because giving up drink is a hard thing to do. If it was easy, sure there's be no issue and nobody would be discussing this topic at all.

You don't need to beat yourself up about your blip, but learn from it and try and make your resolve stronger. You ended up drinking because you got into a group who were going to get hammered, and in your house! It would take an extremely dedicated (possibly unnatural) person not to get caught up in that buzz when you're only off the drink a few days! Remember, you're at a very, very early stage right now - how can you be expected not to fall into the craic with everybody else!!

What you need to do is avoid these situations for the moment. It's a pain in the arse, but, imagine you had gone to a sports ground or even the cinema on Thursday night. Maybe gone for food afterwards and rocked back home. The temptation wouldn't have been there and you would have woken up feeling none of that horrible dread.

It's hard - there's no doubt about it - but you do sound like you have a head on your shoulders and you can cut this problem out of your life now, rather than waking up in ten years' time stuck in the same rut and knowing that you haven't made the most of yourself because you are literally (and I hate this phrase, but it's true) pissing your life away.

Keep us posted and best of luck. You did so well on your first try - your second try is only going to be better!

Talib Fiasco

That vitamins recommendation is actually well appreciated now that I've had time to think about it...been meaning to get myself on them with ages...I think I'll be paying a trip to Holland & Barrett on Tuesday when I've some time off...

I'll hopefully get a decent multivitamin, fish oil capsules, zinc and maybe some iron too as well as anything else that catches my eye. Yeah I've been eating sh*t, feeling drained and lacking concentration...plus I look like complete sh*t most days. My skin feels and looks atrocious most days...

Hopefully with no drink, better diet, supplementation as well as the added benefits from no drink like no hangovers and whatnot I'll look and feel better which will aid me socially, professionally (college) and personally in how I feel about myself...yeah this could be what I need to get me going properly as well as the horrors of the last few weeks/months.

Day 3 is today I guess. If I make it to this time next week without any drink and have myself in gear for a fresh start I'll be ecstatic, chuffed and more motivated than ever.

Wish me luck guys and cheers to everyone of ye again for everything so far

hubba

TheComeUp wrote: »

That vitamins recommendation is actually well appreciated now that I've had time to think about it...been meaning to get myself on them with ages...I think I'll be paying a trip to Holland & Barrett on Tuesday when I've some time off...

I'll hopefully get a decent multivitamin, fish oil capsules, zinc and maybe some iron too as well as anything else that catches my eye. Yeah I've been eating sh*t, feeling drained and lacking concentration...plus I look like complete sh*t most days. My skin feels and looks atrocious most days...

Hopefully with no drink, better diet, supplementation as well as the added benefits from no drink like no hangovers and whatnot I'll look and feel better which will aid me socially, professionally (college) and personally in how I feel about myself...yeah this could be what I need to get me going properly as well as the horrors of the last few weeks/months.

Day 3 is today I guess. If I make it to this time next week without any drink and have myself in gear for a fresh start I'll be ecstatic, chuffed and more motivated than ever.

Wish me luck guys and cheers to everyone of ye again for everything so far

Best wishes, you are preparing well and have a great outlook so that's half the battle. Looking forward to hearing your good news next week.

Talib Fiasco

Well lads. Just back from a night out and yeah I did it...I stayed completely sober. I'll admit it was fairly tough and I was tempted a handful of times but yeah feels good atm that I feel fairly close to how I was going out...can't wait for the fresh head tomorrow...the night wasn't that memorable though...I guess I'll get used to it with time but a nightclub isn't the best place for sober people...just didn't feel right and couldn't really get into the whole buzz. Still though very happy with holding out. I guess this was the first big test and I think I've done a decent enough job.

Alright guys take care.

Joyce88

TheComeUp wrote: »

Well lads. Just back from a night out and yeah I did it...I stayed completely sober. I'll admit it was fairly tough and I was tempted a handful of times but yeah feels good atm that I feel fairly close to how I was going out...can't wait for the fresh head tomorrow...the night wasn't that memorable though...I guess I'll get used to it with time but a nightclub isn't the best place for sober people...just didn't feel right and couldn't really get into the whole buzz. Still though very happy with holding out. I guess this was the first big test and I think I've done a decent enough job.

Alright guys take care.

In the future these nights will be memorable. Blacking out from drinking all night is no good memorable night.

HandsomeDivil

So how's it been going TheComeUp?

Talib Fiasco

Well lads I'm happy to say that I stayed off it for the rest of November but relapsed this week...had drink tuesday and thursday night. I'll admit I missed the drink, that buzz you get from it like but I feel awful now and miss the freshness and good feeling associated with being sober....

Another thing I've to admit is that I found it really hard to enjoy nights out without the drink because all my friends and peers for drinking and you know it just makes you feel weird cuz you don't seem to be 'in' with their jokes and whatnot. I dunno if this is a good thing to do but lads I think I need to limit my drinking before I can finally give it up. Going pure cold was ridiculously hard and the cravings were insane but I feel (maybe I'm wrong here) that if I limited myself to a few....to a state where I still conscious of what I'm doing it'd be better and then maybe if I could adapt to that I could reduce and reduce....I know I've said when I start I find it hard to stop until it's too late but I think I've become stronger mentally by going clean for a while (funny isn't it seeing I've been pissed twice this week). I'd love if ye guys could give me feedback and advice on my next move.

iusedtoknow

At 18 i would have found it hard as well, so don't beat yourself up. It took me till I was 26 to want to quit properly.

I had a couple of relapses as well, but i remember reading an interesting thing where a person said how long they had been sober, but with x relapses. His point was, not to start the clock again but initially to have more sober days under his belt than relapses. As time went on, the relapse days grew less and less as his willpower increased.

Hopefully, if the mods allow it, i would recommend a book - any of the ones by Allen Carr. They will give you great inspiration to quit, it helped me. I remember I read the book, and my wife opened a bottle of wine. I poured a glass and ended up spitting it out, such was the impact on me.

Also, try and remember your mental strength. I noticed it within a week of two that I was mentally stronger than I had been. In my field, it was a great asset to always be in top form mentally. (i used to travel a lot for work to different timezones, jet lag is bad enough without hangovers thrown in to the mix)

keep trying

superblu

Really good thread mate. Best of luck with your efforts. It's really tough when your mates are continually going on the jar and pretty much everything at that age revolves round planning the next session.

In my early 30s myself. Have moderated my drinking in a major way over the last 2 years. Still love the odd pint of Guinness but just cannot be bothered dealing with hangovers and that awful twilight world of fear and self loathing where even the most mundane things seem like an ordeal.

Talib Fiasco

Alright guys, good and bad news...bad news is that I still drink when I'm out but the good news is that it's increasingly becoming under control and the last few nights I've been out I've been aware of what I'm doing and there have been no embarrassing stories etc. Feel so much better to the next day when I can honestly say I'd a good night a night I can actually remember but also have the freedom and buzz from a few drinks. I think if I can hold this mentality through Stephens night and New Years I could really get this going somewhere but for now it's just about making sure I don't slump back to a few months back...

supackofidiots

There's no such thing as a good night when alcohol is consumed. There is no such thing as feeling fresh the next day after a few drinks. Don't kid yourself. However you are eighteen and it is extremely commendable, I wish I had known at 18 that alcohol would ruin my life.

Talib Fiasco

supackofidiots wrote: »

There's no such thing as a good night when alcohol is consumed. There is no such thing as feeling fresh the next day after a few drinks. Don't kid yourself. However you are eighteen and it is extremely commendable, I wish I had known at 18 that alcohol would ruin my life.

Harsh and everyone is different but cheers....and yeah when I say fresh I mean I was able to get up at 9am Friday morning while I had no headache, no rotten taste in my mouth, no craving for pizza and was barely tired. Met up with my friends later that day and got complimented by even one of their mother's who was collecting him on how alert and bright I looked... I'd consider that pretty damn fresh. And I disagree with it being impossible to have a good night when you have a drink. Granted it has destroyed people's lives, and I'm deeply sorry to hear it has done to you, but many and I mean the large majority of people will say that a few drinks on a night out definitely enhance the whole experience. People wouldn't drink on nights out otherwise...they're not doing just for the sake of getting p*ssed and they're not all addicted to it so I feel that's unfair stating that tbh...

J_E

supackofidiots wrote: »

There's no such thing as a good night when alcohol is consumed. There is no such thing as feeling fresh the next day after a few drinks. Don't kid yourself. However you are eighteen and it is extremely commendable, I wish I had known at 18 that alcohol would ruin my life.

While I see your point, a lot of people are capable of saying "that's enough" after a drink or two and enjoying the night. As long as he is in control of the situation though and not doing a 'kidding yourself' thing in his head.

Dare2baDaniel

The way you described your drinking it sounds like you would be better off without it. I don't want to sound harsh or be mean at all but this is the truth. You will never stop drinking until you REALLY want to. That isn't likely to happen until you hit rock bottom. Now that could be this year, could be in five years, it could be when you're 60. Just think about the awful things you could say/do to yourself and other people the next time your drinking gets out of control.

I would advise going to an AA meeting, if nothing else but to shock yourself into seeing what your life could become.

Stopping drinking will never be easy, especially when you're in college. I gave up when I was in college, you have to stop going to bars/nightclubs until you can resist any temptation. You have to cut contact with your drinking buddies, no matter how good you think their friendship is. You're real friends will accept you not drinking and won't make fun of your or pressure you for stopping. If you have no friends like this, MAKE NEW ONES. Find new activites to do, do something that takes up a lot of your time to stop you from going to the pub.

It will be really really hard if you decide to do it, but it can be done (I did it!)

13spanner

Hey lad, your situation sounds a lot like mine, couldn't resist posting!

I'm 19 and in College in Limerick. I got mad into going out drinking last February, and that continued up until the LC exams in June. I was at a house party after the exams, where things got completely out of control and a lot of drink was put away.

Since that party in June I've had maybe 2 or 3 drinks in total, which I consider to be pretty good with starting college and all. A lot of it was down to my Grandad as well. He always told me to stay off the drink, and his health has taken a big hit recently, so I figure if I do anything for him, this'll be it.

Best of luck and keep it up!

shootie

I'm in the same boat as you pal, I'm 18 and have been sober since Haloween. I've never felt better physically!

I'd advise you just not to be preachy to your friends about drink. I've noticed that it seems almost taboo to suggest the positives that comes with not drinking. If you're prone to depression, drink is the worst thing and should be considered enough to help you convince yourself to stop.

I found solace by getting kicks from working that bit harder be it in the gym, sport or on assignments. Improving your body and yourself education wise feels a lot better over a longer term than one night that may end in tears.

Talib Fiasco

Alright everyone, how're things?

Well, I still drink on nights out but I've managed to limit the amount considerably....I no longer have a heavy reliance on it for confidence, fitting in or whatever. I've had some serious wake up calls over the last few months, been embarrassed to the stage I started to become anti-social at times, been slightly bullied and I've lost friends due to all the bullsh*t...I think I'm slowly getting back respect, trust and confidence and I aim to build on that in the future...

It feels good waking up knowing that you've full knowledge of what you did last night and have made it a worthwhile experience.

Even though I cringe and get embarrassed by memories of me at the start of the college year, I think all the sh*t I got from my antics was probably a blessing in disguise...

Onwards and upwards :P

okiss

I am glad to hear that things are getting better for you in regards to your drinking. It is good that you now know when to stop drinking on a night out.
I would not worry about the so called friends you have lost by not going out drinking or by not doing what you did in the past.
There is a saying - If you keep doing what you always did you will get the results you have always got.
We all make mistakes but if you learn from your mistakes it will make you a better person.
Keep doing what your doing and you will get on well in college.
Also when you get older no woman or man wants to be with someone who's whole life revolves around the pub or bottle.
I know that speaking to friends that if they start to go out with someone who is a heavy drinker they have ended the relationship because of this.