Confused - need a guys point of view.

at1986

Ok, I'll try keep this short and straight to the point....

I slept with a guy from work in May, we were out on an office night out and got drunk, went back to his and had a drunken fling (i know.. you should never mix business with pleasure), were both single, hes 28 and Im 26, he's known as the hunk in the office and apparantly Im known as the babe, (im not being vein but just want to paint you's a picture). I really like him but after the fling he pretended like it didnt happen and Ive just acted like it hasnt bothered me but he knows I like him, he just talks to me now and again with an occasional flirt, I suppose he's in a higher position than me in work but that shouldnt matter unless he's looking for a girl who would be in the same position as him.

Anyway, the reason why im confused is because he private messaged me on a certain social network last weekend because I put a status up about being hungover from a night out, I guess he was slagging me but in a really flirty way, then the conversation went on for like 2 hours and we got onto the topic of our fling and he said how good it was etc, I ended the conversation by saying I was going to get a shower and he said 'now thats a good image' talk to you later... but today in work he is being totally off with me again! its driving me nuts! I think we would make a good match if he gave it a chance and asked me out but he hasnt and its driving me nuts!!. I havent told anyone so thats why im on this. alot of people say he is quite a shy and insecure person.

What should I do....

Esoteric_

That doesn't sound like a shy and insecure person. It sounds like he just wants some more casual sex with you. For your own sake, STOP the flirtation. You like him, he seemingly only likes you when it suits him, so stop it before you develop stronger feelings for him.

desbrook

LyndaMcL wrote: »

That doesn't sound like a shy and insecure person. It sounds like he just wants some more casual sex with you. For your own sake, STOP the flirtation. You like him, he seemingly only likes you when it suits him, so stop it before you develop stronger feelings for him.

Agreed. If a guy (or girl) wants you for a relationship they'll make the effort. He made no effort in May and now the only effort he's making is for casual sex again . Don't fool yourself he won't give you anymore than that. Start by deleting him from FB ;-)

Herrick

To be honest it sounds like he's only interested in the odd shag when it suit him. He's not shy, he was able to go home with you and flirt with you in the office and via facebook.

Honestly I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you about a possible relationship here. If I slept with a girl I liked I would make sure I'd ask her out.

I'm sorry but I've a feeling he's trying to set up a casual thing for sex. He flirts then is off with you, he's a total messer I'm afraid.

It can be tough to see these things when your in the middle of it, its hard, especially when you actually like them. So I can understand your confusion. If you really need to know the score for your own piece of mind, I'd say ask him if he'd like to go for a drink some time. But don't get your hopes up OP.

BoardsMember

I'd second Herrick. Sounds like when you were messaging each other he was really horny. He's looking for casual sex. If he really liked you he has had ample opportunity to ask you out. It doesn't sound to me like he's shy & insecure, or there is no evidence to suggest that from what I can see. Seize the power, play flirty back, but dont show you like him. Next work night out be like "yeah it was fine...nice, but just a casual thing" and dont dare give in, he'll be gagging. Most important thing ever - don't sleep with a guy you like on the first opportunity.

at1986

Thanks guys, I'll take your advice on Board, tomorrow I'll just act not bothered and not even look at him, if he liked me he would make an effort and he hasn't.

Meauldsegosha

I agree with the other posters that he is probably just looking for a hook up. However if you really like him and believe that he really is shy and insecure there is nothing to stop you from asking him out.

desbrook

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

I agree with the other posters that he is probably just looking for a hook up. However if you really like him and believe that he really is shy and insecure there is nothing to stop you from asking him out.

Chick-flick from a few years back -
H*'s j**t n*t t**t i**o y*o
There is something to stop you .... common sense. If he wanted a relationship he would have done something ages ago! !!! Don't make excuses for him ....

dellas1979

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

I agree with the other posters that he is probably just looking for a hook up. However if you really like him and believe that he really is shy and insecure there is nothing to stop you from asking him out.

I would normally agree. Nothing wrong with asking a guy out , but not when he has started the game playing already.

LegacyUser

I would run a mile from this guy. We have all done stupid things in the past or done things when drunk. We move on and hopefully learn from our mistakes.
This guy sounds very like a man I had a fling with a number of years ago.
I knew him for a while before we hooked up. I did not sleep with him but we had fun.
I taught he liked me and wanted me as more than a look and f*** so I give him a few chances.
He rang me a few times. I knew he was going to a big social thing which I taught he would invite me to only to hear from someone else we both knew that he was bring ////.
Shortly after this we met up again and I told him were to go.
I know sometimes you click with someone, have a fling and hope something comes of it but I think if you like someone your better to go out with them for a while before sleeping with them.
I am sure this guy is a bit of a player and if he was interested in you he would have asked you out by now.