Another sex problem?

LegacyUser

Hey all, long-term boardsie going incognito for this problem.

I am a 22 yr old graduate who has had only one boyfriend. I waited until Uni to start with all that because I wanted to properly grow up before starting relationships etc.

I have always had very low confidence and self esteem, especially around members of the opposite sex. When I was growing up, I would also instantly reject or dislike 'good-looking' guys. It was only recently I learned this is because I felt so low in myself, that I would instantly find a problem with them so I wouldn't get hurt. Crazy I know!

I've suffered from depression for most of my 4 years at Uni and was never able to throw myself into the Uni experience, something I really regret.
However over the last 2-3 years I've slowly been turning this around and trying to learn to love myself, better my social skills and end my negative thinking.

I recently met a great guy and have been thinking about moving things forward with him. However he is a lot more experienced sexually than me. I never felt anything with my ex during sex and the few ONS I've had left me feeling quite low.
I don't know what to do because I don't want to disappoint him! I really want to enjoy sex but, I'm just not sure how? I've always pushed my emotions down cos of my depression, including any sexual ones, so now I'm not sure what to do or how to feel regarding that whole area.

I know it probably sounds stupid, I wish I could just fly with it like my friends seem to.

Any advice appreciated!

Nody

If he is more experienced it does not need to translate in that he knows what he's doing and/or is good at it (and I'm not even going down the route of the bragging going on here)...

Anyway once you go that far simply tell him that you're inexperienced and work with him to explore and learn more. Sex is a wonderful thing but no one will expect you to be a sex love making godess (and if they do kick 'em out for being a selfish bastard of no use) with a new parter from day 1; that's part of the fun after all to explore, tease, and learn what makes your partner tick. And always, always, only go as far as you feel comfortable with no matter what experience he claims to have about the subject...

Overheal

'Experience' is not necessarily progressive. The first time I had sex for instance it lasted far longer than the stereotypes would make you think, she was far more experienced than I was too, and was done before I was. Only to brag a little. That is not to say I knew absolutely everything I was doing -or that I even knew what I would necessarily like, but it didn't really matter; the important thing was we both still enjoyed ourselves and kept going at it. Nobody is going to grade you on a scale OP and its not crucial that you understand everything going in.

miec

Hi Op

Do you think you would be able to share with him your fears? Explain to him your worries and fears and kind of ask him to lead the way so to speak, and give yourself lots of time to relax into things. I think that may take some of the fear and pressure of you and he will know where you are coming from.