Social life after qutting drinking

GRMA

Hi guys, I'm thinking about giving up the drink...

Costs too much, but the main thing is that I find when I go out I'm grand for a few drinks, have a nice buzz, and trying to keep it that way I keep drinking and end up quite depressed - when I get really hammered I just get really down (about stupid sh!t, stuff I don't care about sober) and withdraw from people etc. Next day I feel like sh!t, no money etc.

I've tried going out and having just one or two but I find that very hard to do - mates egging me on etc and I also find it very hard to enjoy niteclubs, pubs etc unless I have a good bit of drink on me - otherwise I'm bored out of my tree.

Anyway, I'm in my early twenties, in college, and almost everything with me and my friends revolves around drink - nites out etc. Even sports etc are followed up by drink, all my friends, or even any people my age want to do is drink.

If I gave up drink I think my social life would collapse completely, as just going out to watch my friends drink doesn't work.

What is there to replace my social life with? - especially meeting women.

How do youse do it lads?

unreggd

GRMA wrote: »

trying to keep it that way I keep drinking and end up quite depressed - when I get really hammered I just get really down

Answered that yourself really. Drinking more doesnt keep you there, drinking less does. Every drink kicks you up a level, but drinking water will keep you there. Unreal that people dont get this

I've tried going out and having just one or two but I find that very hard to do - mates egging me on etc and I also find it very hard to enjoy niteclubs, pubs etc unless I have a good bit of drink on me - otherwise I'm bored out of my tree

You have to just learn how to say no. And do you really wants mates who are trying to control how you are? If you don't enjoy clubs sober then at least you know; you're not drinking to trick yourself into thinking you're havin a good night out

Anyway, I'm in my early twenties, in college, and almost everything with me and my friends revolves around drink - nites out etc. Even sports etc are followed up by drink, all my friends, or even any people my age want to do is drink

That's most of life in Ireland to be honest. Lack of awareness. People enjoy the chats/banter, but associate this enjoyment with drinking. The more you say no, the sooner people will give up trying to influence you

If I gave up drink I think my social life would collapse completely, as just going out to watch my friends drink doesn't work

Not with that attitude! :P Not drinking among friends doesnt remove your ability to talk and interact. Again, lack of awareness that people are fun in most situations without alcohol

What is there to replace my social life with? - especially meeting women

You don't need a replacement, you just need to diversify, and move away from childish thinkin / beer = cool/manly etc
There's plenty to be doing, and most find that quitting the drink opens up far more doors, and the experiences are genuine

How do youse do it lads?

Well, its not abstinence for me, so it's not a challenge at all. I simply don't do something I have no desire to do. Another lost concept with Irish society

Just be open to change and giving different things a try

Sunnyisland

Good post unreggd

uberalles

Drink a litre of water before you hit the pub, makes a huge difference to hangovers.

Take up a sport and get fit.

Wingman2010

GRMA wrote: »

Hi guys, I'm thinking about giving up the drink...

Costs too much, but the main thing is that I find when I go out I'm grand for a few drinks, have a nice buzz, and trying to keep it that way I keep drinking and end up quite depressed - when I get really hammered I just get really down (about stupid sh!t, stuff I don't care about sober) and withdraw from people etc. Next day I feel like sh!t, no money etc.

I've tried going out and having just one or two but I find that very hard to do - mates egging me on etc and I also find it very hard to enjoy niteclubs, pubs etc unless I have a good bit of drink on me - otherwise I'm bored out of my tree.

Anyway, I'm in my early twenties, in college, and almost everything with me and my friends revolves around drink - nites out etc. Even sports etc are followed up by drink, all my friends, or even any people my age want to do is drink.

If I gave up drink I think my social life would collapse completely, as just going out to watch my friends drink doesn't work.

What is there to replace my social life with? - especially meeting women.

How do youse do it lads?

Drinking is no longer a cool thing. I gave up when I was 25 and it was the best thing I ever did. It will be 3 years in January since I had a drink. My only regret is why I didn't give it up years ago. When I was in college I did the usual stuff like going out and getting drunk. I always wanted to give up drink and talked about doing it a lot. Though to be honest it would be very hard to give it up in a college environment.

The few months before I gave up drinking I used to drive out so I had the excuse of I've the car with me so I can't drink. This just showed how much I wanted to give it up. Initially when I gave up my mates were really surprised. I wasn't a heavy drinker but I did have a few pints every weekend. I never went out with the attitude to 'get drunk' and it always used to frustrate me when I heard people saying 'I'm going to get pissed tonight'.

After a couple of months my mates accepted that I'm not drinking anymore. Back to a previous point I made, I think it's a bad state of affairs that I had to use the excuse I'm driving not to drink! Though maybe this was a weakness I had and I wasn't strong enough to say I'm not drinking tonight. So I can see how hard it's for any young person to give it up.

With it nearly being 3 years since I had a drink I can say all my mates now respect the decision I made to give up drink. But yes it gets boring when people keep asking why I don't drink etc.. I still go out nearly every weekend. Once in a club I had a girl asking 'had I drink problem' when she noticed I wasn't drinking! This is what you're up against in Ireland though unfortunately.

I can safely say it was the best decision I ever made to give up drink. It wasn't a easy thing to do I will admit in this country but I'm very proud to say I'm a non drinker in Ireland! If any other young people wants advice feel free to get in touch. But don't forget it doesn't mean the end of your social life but the the start of a very exciting life :-) The least of the reasons for giving it up was money reasons. But if this is a motivating factor you will have plenty of cash left in your wallet after a night out!

stop animal cruelty

Been thinking about giving it up too, but l do feel like l'm missing out in the crack with my friends when l don't drink.

I hate how l'm a different person when l drink, when sober l'm a bit shy, when theres a bit of drink in me l'm cracking jokes with everyone!

Would love to be one of those people who don't need a drink when they go out.

And anyway l don't think its weird or anything when l hear people don't drink, l actually perfer a man who doesn't drink, bigger balls! :P lol

Wingman2010

[QUOTE
And anyway l don't think its weird or anything when l hear people don't drink, l actually perfer a man who doesn't drink, bigger balls! :P lol[/QUOTE]

Ha ha; I love it!

It's sad state of affairs being rejected because you don't drink though.. This does happen I can assure you! Though to be brutally honest I couldn't give a damn if someone thinks Joe Bloggs must be a dry arse/too tight to drink/has a drink problem for not drinking.

Another thing I don't understand is non alcoholic beers. Out of curiosity I tried one of these before. I had one sip and I nearly got sick. In my opinion no one drinks these because they like taste of them. They taste so bad. I think anyone who drinks these is not comfortable with people seeing them drinking a glass of coke etc but if this works for them on a night out fair enough.

buzzz88

Hi GRMA

I'm in a similar boat - well I actually had my last drink 3 months ago. Decided to stop for similar reasons to you. I couldn't seem to stop myself at 1 or 2 drinks. I managed sometimes (may 1 in 3 times I tried to "take it easy"), but even at that it was a struggle. Then, when I did end up baloobas drunk, I ended up feeling depressed and/or waking up not knowing what I'd said/done and feeling depressed all day long afterwards.

It started happening too often and it scared me. Those depressed feelings were fairly intense, and over nothing, really! Or at least, as you say, things that wouldn't bother me when sober. I find it much easier now just to stay off it altogether! Making a conscious decision to abstain removes the whole indecisiveness/struggle over the "will I, won't I" on that 2nd or 3rd drink. I can still go out and not drink, but, like you said, I get "bored out of my tree" after a while!

I've gone out with my friends a couple of times, and had a red bull or two - found I had a good enough night. I have the odd non-alcoholic beer cos I get sick of everyone saying "oh why are you not drinking?" and "ah, go on". But they are finally starting to accept it

My social life has taken a bit of a tumble cos nights in the pub/clubs just don't appeal any more. To be honest I was never a fan before I start drinking - I only started drinking when I went to college at 18. I had never really intended drinking, but I was quite shy and, to be honest, didn't know what else to do, cos EVERYONE seemed to drink.

Anyway, that's besides the point. I've been looking into alternatives to drinking - took a look at meetup.com, but haven't plucked up the courage to go for one yet. Hoping I'll find more ideas in here!

I am finding it hard to meet men though - it seems to make lads in pubs uncomfortable when they hear I'm not drinking.... it's kind of sad really - only in bloomin' Ireland!

Bergkamp 10

Im wondering can people give me advise, im young and have trouble with alcohol. i still want to go out clubbing, just dont know is this a bad idea. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times ive been sober in a nightclub. Some of the times its went so bad I just got pissed in there. I want to go out and but I just hope I can do it sober and enjoy myself.

xim2

I've been off the buzz for a few weeks now, the first days ( weekends in particular..) were very tough! Everyone seems just to have so much fun when out and having a drink, but i'm just so tired of the post-drinking feeling like shait and spending all my money!
yes is good fun but ... feel so much better , i joined a few groups and found a very interesting one for non drinkers HERE so i am going out to meet other people new positive influences

buzzz88 wrote: »

Hi GRMA

I'm in a similar boat - well I actually had my last drink 3 months ago. Decided to stop for similar reasons to you. I couldn't seem to stop myself at 1 or 2 drinks. I managed sometimes (may 1 in 3 times I tried to "take it easy"), but even at that it was a struggle. Then, when I did end up baloobas drunk, I ended up feeling depressed and/or waking up not knowing what I'd said/done and feeling depressed all day long afterwards.

It started happening too often and it scared me. Those depressed feelings were fairly intense, and over nothing, really! Or at least, as you say, things that wouldn't bother me when sober. I find it much easier now just to stay off it altogether! Making a conscious decision to abstain removes the whole indecisiveness/struggle over the "will I, won't I" on that 2nd or 3rd drink. I can still go out and not drink, but, like you said, I get "bored out of my tree" after a while!

I've gone out with my friends a couple of times, and had a red bull or two - found I had a good enough night. I have the odd non-alcoholic beer cos I get sick of everyone saying "oh why are you not drinking?" and "ah, go on". But they are finally starting to accept it

My social life has taken a bit of a tumble cos nights in the pub/clubs just don't appeal any more. To be honest I was never a fan before I start drinking - I only started drinking when I went to college at 18. I had never really intended drinking, but I was quite shy and, to be honest, didn't know what else to do, cos EVERYONE seemed to drink.

Anyway, that's besides the point. I've been looking into alternatives to drinking - took a look at meetup.com, but haven't plucked up the courage to go for one yet. Hoping I'll find more ideas in here!

I am finding it hard to meet men though - it seems to make lads in pubs uncomfortable when they hear I'm not drinking.... it's kind of sad really - only in bloomin' Ireland!