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SATNAV - A poem.

  • 26-10-2012 1:53pm
    #1
    Irishgoatman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,741 ✭✭✭


    I have a little Satnav
    It sits there in my car
    A Satnav is a driver's friend
    It tells you where you are

    I have a little Satnav
    I've had it all my life
    It’s better than the normal ones
    My Satnav is my wife

    It gives me full instructions
    Especially how to drive
    "It's thirty miles an hour", it says
    "You're doing thirty five"

    It tells me when to stop and start
    And when to use the brake
    And tells me that it's never ever
    Safe to overtake

    It tells me when a light is red
    And when it goes to green
    It seems to know instinctively
    Just when to intervene

    It lists the vehicles just in front
    And all those to the rear
    And taking this into account
    It specifies my gear.

    I'm sure no other driver
    Has so helpful a device
    For when we leave and lock the car
    It still gives its advice

    It fills me up with counselling
    Each journey's pretty fraught
    So why don't I exchange it
    And get a quieter sort?

    Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
    Makes sure I'm properly fed,
    It washes all my shirts and things
    And - keeps me warm in bed!

    Despite all these advantages
    And my tendency to scoff,
    I do wish that once in a while
    I could turn the damned thing off.


Comments

  • #2
    BrensBenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    Hush! We're in the presence of genius.
    I can't rhyme at all at all but:
    • My "satnag" only works in the past tense, i.e. we should have turned back there.
    • Vocabulary is quite large but doesn't include left or right.
    • Also, up is a direction that everybody understands, apparently.
    • Opposite is probably the most used word and can mean pretty much anywhere on the same land mass.
    • Suddenly grabbing the dash is a universal indication of possible danger, curiosity, discomfort and other unidentified causes.
    • Road signs are only to be believed if her sister has verified the information anytime in the past.
    • Silences are prohibited - a minute-by-minute description of the wetness or dryness of the road is an acceptable alternative.
    • Postcodes, addresses and / or (God forbid) co-ordinates are replaced by descriptions of curtains or where a lickle white bunny wabbit smiled at her when she was a child.
    • Excessive speed is when she can't read the ads in the supermarket window.
    • Etc.
    I'd look after your satnav if I were you!


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