:(

Emily1814

myself and my boyfriend broke up 3 weeks ago. we had been going out for 2 years. i loved him and still love him with all my heart. he had cheated on me when we first started going out but i forgave him.. then he cheated on me again while he was on holidays i forgave him again .. then he cheated on me back home again and that was the last straw for me.. all different girls.. i have broke up with him but i still love him and cant stop thinking about him... and to make it worse i have on my head all the time was there more girls that i dont know about because i have always cought him he never admitted it himself... we still talk which i think is making things harding for me to get over him.... if someone has any ideas or have been through something like this i would really like your help please!!!!!

prettyrestless

My ex cheated on me, and even though he swore it was only that one girl, I always wondered if there were more. I nearly drove myself nuts thinking about it.

Honestly, he doesn't sound like he was a great boyfriend. It seems like he has no respect for you and he really doesn't seem to be all that sorry for his actions. Talking to him is only prolonging your agony. Delete his number/facebook/email etc and cut him out of your life completely. You're much better off without him.

KKkitty

He's proved time and time again that he can't be trusted. Trust is important in a relationship and no matter what happens you'd always be doubtful of him. You need to wash your hands of him and find someone who will love you and respect you all day every day. First of all you need time to be by yourself. Organise a night out with friends and enjoy yourself when you're ready to date again. It's going to be a daunting process but you'll get there in the end. You can do better and you will and always believe that. Best of luck

Taltos

More appropriate here OP.

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Taltos

Stavro Mueller

Hi Emily. The only way you'll get over him is to cut contact unfortunately. By continuing to keep in contact with him, you're stopping yourself from moving on. Your head knows you're better off not being with him but your heart is a different thing. So delete/ block his number, unfriend him on social media etc. and organise some things for yourself so that you can keep busy and take your mind off him.

Merkin

This rat has treated you appallingly so if I were you I wouldn't give him the pleasure of my company on any level. He's not worthy of sharing the same air space let alone have you in his life. You need to be brutal here and as Cymbaline said, block him from your phone and social networks and tell him you never want to hear from him again. It is like ripping off a plaster and will hurt but in the longer term it will help you get over him quicker and in time hopefully meet someone who loves and respects you and doesn't feel the need to hop on anything with a pulse.

My timing probably isn't great here as I'm sure you're feeling wretched enough as it is but you should really go and get tested for STIs as he sounds to have been pretty promiscuous and you should probably get yourself checked. I am sure you are fine hon but it is something that you should probably do.

I know you're hurting right now but I think you've been very brave and strong in saying enough is enough. It might not feel like it's a good idea now but you're actually leaving the way clear now for you to meet someone amazing who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Take care x

LegacyUser

Hope the following helps a bit. It's a big of a ramble. Sorry!

Am currently four weeks post break up... not the same situation as you, but, yes, am still in love with my boyfriend - and he with me (it's a long story).

Am feeling better in recent weeks (some days anyway; on others I just want to stay in bed and cry and not face the world). This has been my plan of action:

Cutting off contact - I have met him a few times as we had things to discuss but we have been in touch very little. I don't think you have anything to discuss with your boyfriend as he treated you shamefully so you owe him nothing. You must totally cut contact. It will be very weird at first but must be done so you can move on. Ignore all contact from him and if you have to speak to him for any reason just explain calmly that this is what you have to do as you are in the process of moving on with your life. And your life from now on does not include him!

Meeting friends / family - you may not be in the mood for going out clubbing, but talking to friends / family on the phone, visiting them, going out for coffee / dinner, quiet pints... stick to your close friends for the moment because they won't give out to you if you are in a **** mood!!!

Exercise and eating well - totally essential although it is probably the last thing on your mind. Exercise keeps you occupied and eating well makes sure you body feels as well as it can. The physical pain of break up in unbelievable. You need to give your body a chance.

Keeping myself occupied - exercise is part of this, also housework (ha ha - it works, though!), my job (am trying extra to be brilliant and efficient at work), attending events in my areas of interest (yoga workshops are my latest!)

Put together a plan of action for yourself. See this as your project. But don't forget also that you need those days that you will just wallow, stay in bed, sit in the corner of your mother's kitchen (or at the bottom of the stairs as I did last Sunday!!!), eat chocolate, drink brandy, and in general be totally unconstructive. You are human after all.

Lots of hugs from this broken heart to your broken heart.

And remember, your boyfriend did not deserve you if he cheated on you. No way. Build yourself up again and you will find somebody so much better than this man. There are men out there who will treat you with respect. Take your time and you will find them.

LegacyUser

Somewhat similar situation as yourself OP. Broke up recently although on really good terms if such a thing is possible i.e. no badness just other circumstances. Even at that it's really tough and I've found below has helped me. Probably going to mirror most of the above but main points are;
Cut contact, this guy doesn't deserve to be with you after what he has done never mind be still talking to you. This is definitely the hardest but most important.
Occupy yourself with different things, try do something new that won't remind you of your ex. Plenty of excercise, makes you feel good about yourself.
Go out with friends and start enjoying nights out. That doesn't mean you have to go off with anyone if you don't want to but always great for the confidence some attention.
Delete on Facebook.

if you listen to nothing else, cut the contact. Hopefully helps a little but it will take a while to get any normality.

djimi

Every time you think that you still love him or want to contact him picture him in bed with the girls that he cheated with; should put things in perspective pretty quickly in your head!

Only solution is to cut all contact with him. Do not talk to him, text, email, Facebook etc. There is no other magic solution; the more you keep in contact the more it will be prolonged and the harder it will be.

One shot on kill

He is a dcikhead.

The truth is if he done after getting caught the first time and then the second. There is a good chance he done it more than 3 times.

You don't love him and he definitely doesn't love you move on and forget him and find someone else.

To be fair it will be hard but not as hard as been miserable for the rest of your life.

Leopard can't change his spots.

Emily1814

Thanks everyone to replying to my post i really really appriciate it:) i am starting to realise that i can do a lot better then him... I have been keeping myself really busy i still do miss him at night being at home on my own but i guess in time i will get used to that... i am feeling a lot better now and i am very happy with building up the courage to let him go because if i didnt i probably would have never let go!!!

Thanks again everyone!!!!!xx

Ellsbells

Well done op. you absolutely deserve better.

curlzy

Fair play OP. You gave him too many chances, the good side of that is that you now have zero doubts, he proved himself a cheating rat again and again, so you know you did the right thing in getting rid of him. The hardest bit is over, now you just got to get over it, it'll be hard but cutting contact completely is the first step.

Best of luck OP!