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How can I stop being such a bad person!

  • 25-10-2012 9:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey, sorry for writing this but I'm having a bit of a tough time lately, I've com to realise that most of my friends are not actually real friends, their flakey and only stay in touch because I call them.

    Anyway usually I go out of my way to help anyone but a few days ago I lied. Basically I have this friend lets call him H right and he's quite mean always cancels on me or ignores me when were meant to be going somwhere etc... and just calls when wants something and wouldn't be honest.

    Well I accused H of somwething they didn't do just a small thing but stillim racked with guilt since and just feel like a bad person.

    How do i stop being a bad person?

    We both go to college together so its awkward!!


Comments

  • #2
    edellc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,787 ✭✭✭edellc


    baaaad wrote: »
    Hey, sorry for writing this but I'm having a bit of a tough time lately, I've com to realise that most of my friends are not actually real friends, their flakey and only stay in touch because I call them.

    Anyway usually I go out of my way to help anyone but a few days ago I lied. Basically I have this friend lets call him H right and he's quite mean always cancels on me or ignores me when were meant to be going somwhere etc... and just calls when wants something and wouldn't be honest.

    Well I accused H of somwething they didn't do just a small thing but stillim racked with guilt since and just feel like a bad person.

    How do i stop being a bad person?

    We both go to college together so its awkward!!

    I dont understand how you think your a bad person, as to me bad people rape and murder people and from your post I dont think thats what you have done..

    You lied and it was wrong, apologise to you friend and move on, we all f*ck up now and again its called the human condition and nobody is perfect. We learn from our mistakes or at least we are suppose to and hopefully should a similar situation arise again we deal with it better.

    As for this friend he really doesnt sound like a friend if he is mean to you all the time, people do cancel for various reasons so get over that but meanness is never a good trait in anyone.

    Your still in college so why not join some other social clubs and make new and different friends, ones that you have something in common with and want to spend time with you, as at present you are letting this H friends effect you and this seems to be effecting your behaviour. You are in control of your life and how you are seen by others so I think you should be the bigger person and not stoop to such a low level.

    We encounter people like this many times throughout our lives, not everyone will like you, just like you will not like everyone you meet, life is short so surround yourself with people who appreciate you and who you appreciate and cut off the dead wood.


  • #3
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    baaaad wrote: »
    Well I accused H of somwething they didn't do just a small thing but stillim racked with guilt since and just feel like a bad person.
    You need to retract whatever it is you said. If this person has been in any way effected by the lie, you need to apologise. Just because someone doesn't seem that interested in keeping contact, it doesn't give you the right to gossip about them maliciously or lie about them. You need to find better friends to be honest, if it's you that is the only one organising meets.
    How do i stop being a bad person?

    We both go to college together so its awkward!!
    You're hardly a bad person for telling a fib. But you do need to set this straight, whatever that involves. It takes a conscience decision to do something or say something that is wrong, WHY you do it is something you need to look into. It was vengeful / spiteful what you did, and it is as a result of the one-sided relationship. Stop trying to forge a friendship with people that don't seem interested, and look else where.


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