Should i contact her again?

jambon29

Basically i met a girl a few weeks ago on a night out. We were texting ever since so a few weeks ago we decided to meet up, we got on great and decided to meet up again on a night out where we were out seperately. We met up, kissed, were getting on great but she decided to go out for a fag but i don't smoke so i did'nt bother joining her and as my friends were gone home said i'd wait for her by the bar. But she didnt come back for at least 25 mins so i got decided to go home thinking it was her way of giving me the brush off. I was'nt home 5 mins when she rang asking where i was. Needless to say she was'nt too happy and the conversation did'nt last long. I rang her the next day to apologise but she did'nt answer. However she did send a text saying it was fine and text away fine for the rest of the day. However i have not heard from her since and for a man who does'nt fall for women easily i am fairly sick as we got on great and it would be a pity to ruin it due to one mistake. Do people think i should contact her again. I am kind of against it myself as i have only met her a few times and don't want to come on too strong. Also i said sorry and maybe she just is'nt interested anymore.

Merkin

I would definitely ask her out. She probably went out for a fag with drink on her and time ran away from her. She was probably a little puzzled also as to why you didn't want to come out with her when you had been having such a good chat. I'd say pick up the phone and call her and say you'd like to see her again, make a lighthearted joke about not abandoning her and suggest somewhere nice for a few drinks and/or a casual bite to eat. If she was really vexed with you she wouldn't have continued texting etc - call her!

Hardonraging

jambon29 wrote: »

Basically i met a girl a few weeks ago on a night out. We were texting ever since so a few weeks ago we decided to meet up, we got on great and decided to meet up again on a night out where we were out seperately. We met up, kissed, were getting on great but she decided to go out for a fag but i don't smoke so i did'nt bother joining her and as my friends were gone home said i'd wait for her by the bar. But she didnt come back for at least 25 mins so i got decided to go home thinking it was her way of giving me the brush off. I was'nt home 5 mins when she rang asking where i was. Needless to say she was'nt too happy and the conversation did'nt last long. I rang her the next day to apologise but she did'nt answer. However she did send a text saying it was fine and text away fine for the rest of the day. However i have not heard from her since and for a man who does'nt fall for women easily i am fairly sick as we got on great and it would be a pity to ruin it due to one mistake. Do people think i should contact her again. I am kind of against it myself as i have only met her a few times and don't want to come on too strong. Also i said sorry and maybe she just is'nt interested anymore.

So you left because she was gone for 25 mins, which is fair given 25 mins is quite a long time to wait for anyone, however, personally, I'd have sent a text telling her you were leaving, just in case, nothing snide or nasty, as in this case she was side tracked.

Text her, and see what's what ! it's prob worth addressing it with her again anyway and explaining what happened .

ManOfMystery

Sounds like a real bad case of both of you getting your wires crossed.

Your friends had gone home yeah? If that's the case, 25 mins can seem an awful long time when you're waiting for someone to return and standing on your own. It doesn't really take more than 5 mins to have a smoke so I can understand why you though she might have went on, though in hindsight if you'd just rung her before leaving the bar it would have cleared it up!

I'd give her a ring and explain the situation again, rather than texting. Sometimes a text can seem insincere, but hearing someone's voice can convey a lot more. Tell her you thought you were both getting on great and didn't want to ruin that over one silly incident which was more down to confusion than malice or huffing on anyone's part.

WhiteRose90

Tbh I see why she was upset. You left her because she was gone too long having a cig? Why didn't you go out to her and joke about how long she was or something? Get the ball rolling again. I don't smoke either but I know many people who do and I've seen them get caught up in conversation with other smokers. Small talk basically. Though yeah, I think you should try and talk to her about it. Like others have said, give her a ring and not a text so there are no other misunderstandings/miscommunication between anybody.

jambon29

WhiteRose90 wrote: »

Tbh I see why she was upset. You left her because she was gone too long having a cig? Why didn't you go out to her and joke about how long she was or something? Get the ball rolling again. I don't smoke either but I know many people who do and I've seen them get caught up in conversation with other smokers. Small talk basically. Though yeah, I think you should try and talk to her about it. Like others have said, give her a ring and not a text so there are no other misunderstandings/miscommunication between anybody.

I know but i had only met her a few times and i did'nt want to go following after her when she was gone for 5 minutes, did'nt want to seem too clingy. Ah i wish i had now. Can't believe i'm so down over a girl i've only met a few times, i said i'm sorry so maybe there is no more i can do. I would'nt have minded if she just was'nt into me but to mess it up of my own accord is a sickener.

jambon29

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Sounds like a real bad case of both of you getting your wires crossed.

Your friends had gone home yeah? If that's the case, 25 mins can seem an awful long time when you're waiting for someone to return and standing on your own. It doesn't really take more than 5 mins to have a smoke so I can understand why you though she might have went on, though in hindsight if you'd just rung her before leaving the bar it would have cleared it up!

I'd give her a ring and explain the situation again, rather than texting. Sometimes a text can seem insincere, but hearing someone's voice can convey a lot more. Tell her you thought you were both getting on great and didn't want to ruin that over one silly incident which was more down to confusion than malice or huffing on anyone's part.

I tried to ring her but she did'nt answer but she did text saying it was ok, ah ill just have to move on.

dellas1979

I dont understand the full scenario...if she went out the front for a fag, you would have passed her...are you sure you didnt get mad in the moment (cause she was gone so long) and walk past her? Or if she went to a smoking area out the back, she would have had to pass you to exit (i.e., you would have seen her leave if shed left)?

Not sure on that one.

But, look if it was a genuine mistake, yes 25mins is along time to be gone for a fag and leave someone there, so I think she has to shoulder some of the blame. I wouldnt walk out for 25mins to have a fag if I was with a guy I liked!

Hoochiemama

Dont give up! This is a minor thing. Ring her and ask her out and tell her you like her. Tell her how you feel you have messed this up. Dont give up so easily!!!!!

Stavro Mueller

dellas1979 wrote: »

I dont understand the full scenario...if she went out the front for a fag, you would have passed her...are you sure you didnt get mad in the moment (cause she was gone so long) and walk past her? Or if she went to a smoking area out the back, she would have had to pass you to exit (i.e., you would have seen her leave if shed left)?

Not sure on that one.

But, look if it was a genuine mistake, yes 25mins is along time to be gone for a fag and leave someone there, so I think she has to shoulder some of the blame. I wouldnt walk out for 25mins to have a fag if I was with a guy I liked!

I wouldn't get too hung up on the geography of the place. There are plenty of pubs with smoking areas where you could easily leave without someone seeing you.

While the OP could've handled things better, I've got question marks over the girl. The 25 minute thing that jumped out at me. I'm surprised people don't seem to think it's odd that she went off for a smoke and came back after that length of time. And then didn't answer his call or ring back.

I guess there's no harm in trying to ring her one more time but if she fails to answer, delete her number. It's not a good sign that she doesn't appear to be asking herself why he'd have thought she'd cleared off and that she was every bit at fault as he was.

Lanza158

I think you should let it go.....If she's not answering calls she's not interested. I would never leave someone for 25 mins! It's rude