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how to get my boyfriend to "open up" about sex

  • 22-10-2012 8:10pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    going unreg for this one, just in case!
    My boyfriend of one year and I have a fairly good sex life, in terms of quantity at least. However, my ex boyfriend was adventurous in bed ( I didn't realise then quite how much!) and with a very high sex drive. This relationship had huge problems and I'm 100% glad to be with my current partner, however his sexual style is very conservative by comparison. I feel like he's holding back, unless that is he just likes it the exact same way every time. I've initiated a few things, and he seems to enjoy them but to be honest you couldn't really tell, he wouldn't be very "vocal" if you know what I mean.
    I have spoken to him, although I try not to intimidate him as he would be fairly shy about openly discussing sex. When I've approached the subject in the past he's asked afterwards whether my ex did certain things that he doesn't - what can I say to that only "no, no" and change the subject. He's a real "mans man" I don't want to make him insecure or paranoid. I do enjoy sex with my partner, in terms of end result, but lets just say the warm-up is non-existent.
    What can I do?? Mens opinions really appreciated!!


Comments

  • #2
    ranger123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24 ✭ranger123


    unregistered today wrote: »
    I have spoken to him

    (you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink)

    Don't talk about it with him, But Autosuggestion approach will work properly to induce man manhood if you know what I mean!


  • #3
    scriba
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 875 ✭✭✭scriba


    unregistered today wrote: »
    What can I do?? Mens opinions really appreciated!!

    Discuss it with him, outside the bedroom, while going for a walk or something. Do not discuss everything at once, since he might take that as a sign he's doing everything wrong, but rather propose that you'd like to try something different later on that night. Tell him how it makes you feel, if he's anything like me, that should seal the deal! Then do the same again a few days later, or a week, and gradually integrate it. That's how I'd need to be told, anyway, as far away from the act as possible! :eek: Good luck, but you won't need it. It's a good thing to discuss this.


  • #4
    scriba
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 875 ✭✭✭scriba


    Oh, just re-read the 'warm up' bit. Don't forget to show him what you like. Visual demonstration can be very helpful. :)


  • #5
    Hardonraging
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,641 ✭✭✭Hardonraging


    Scriba's on the money there, if there's no foreplay or no oral sex show him what gets you off, you'll be surprised as to how he may react .

    He maybe a man's man, in you're eyes, but if you're not happy with what he's doing, vocalise this, tell him what you want him to do, you wont insult him, relationship's are built on trust, communication and openness, if you don't have all three it's not the foreplay you need to work on .


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