miss my ex

jellybean2010

hello...

i'm all over the place...i'd love some advise.

Basically, i was with my ex for over 4 years. From the moment I met him he was all i ever wanted. We got on great, moved in together after about a year etc.
It wasnt always plain sailing, we had our fights, we were both under pressure with work and money etc.

But in the final year the cracks in our relationship began to sink in with me, i guess because i loved him so much i would stick up for him if he disappointed me, silly stuff like not coming to family things or not wanting to go on holidays etc. it really hit home when he had doubts about us owning a house together, but i ploughed on, putting it to the back of my mind. I guess the summer of last year I spent some time with some friends of mine in the city and started to think that life had more to offer than cooking dinners and feeling unappreciated. I decided that I deserved better than how he treated me (there are lots of silly things that happened - but lets put it this way - he didnt really make much of an effort) so I sat him down and asked him what he wanted, that I didnt feel like he wanted to be with me anymore. So we broke up.

Fast forward a couple of months and he wanted me back. I didn't know what to think or how to feel. I still loved him. But after a few weeks i saw old habits reappearing, lack of contact etc. and i said sod this, I'm not doing that again.
Then I met someone, who treated me very well, and I really liked him, we were together for about 6 months but then I decided to move away.

fast forward 8 months, and all i want is my ex from the 4year relationship. I've been single for 8months, and I cant get him out of my head.

I am in touch with him a bit, I did mention it to him once that I really missed him, did he think we would ever get back together, he said a lot of time had passed he didnt really know what to say.

The truth is I know in my heart he doesnt want me back, but it doesnt stop me dreaming, thinking and hoping. I need to give up but its so hard. he occupies so much of my day thinking about him.

I know people will tell me to move on, i thought i had...

P. Breathnach

You got out of a relationship that was failing. You gave it a second chance, and found the things that caused it to fail were still there.

I suspect that the person about whom you are dreaming and hoping is not the person he actually is: it's a romanticised ideal of him, a person who does not exist in reality. Try to balance your wishful thinking with some cold hard memories of the behaviour that drove you apart.

You need to move on. It's a great pity that it is not easy.