Has the boat sailed?

LegacyUser

This is a long and bizarre one!

Met this girl in my class (we will call her X) nearly 3 years ago in college, shes a shy enough girl..We became friends and ending up getting together every night we were out. This was great and going on for about 2 months, until she told me she loved me and wanted us to be together...This kinda freaked me out as I just started college and was still finding my feet and didn't want to rush into anything that would make things difficult between us if it didn't work out and were in the same class like..Also I wanted to do the whole college thing for a while.. So basically I turned her down one night and it ended messy on the night tears and all that..

We managed to stay friends and fast forward a few months we started hooking up again regularly on nights out, and slowly I could feel myself falling for her and there was nothing I could do. So one evening I just bit the bullet and told her how I felt she told me it was to late and she just walked away with a look of hurt in her eyes..I was devastated absolutely gutted I couldn't believe how bad I was taking this like im a 6 foot 4 inches rugby player..I just missed her so much like someone just cut me in two...

Anyways well into our second year of college things were quite between us for a few while bar the odd few kisses. Then one night i was with this girl and we randomly bumped into X on the way out the door. Our eyes just locked on each other and I could see the hurt in her eyes..I stupidly tried to talk to her there and then but her friends just pushed me away(the same friends don't like me anymore)! The following day I tried to talk to X I asked her why she looked so hurt if she didn't have any feelings for me any more ? She just said to forget it and walked away..I was still crazy about her and I could feel I hurt her that night..

Later that day i decided that this was it if i wanted to get over her we had to cut contact I deleted her number and kept my distance and kept contact to minimum. Things were quite between us for a while I saw her on nights out with different lads..fair enough like its a fair game but I was just really hurt by this.. After a few months of nothing between us we kissed one night..but then things just went back to there being nothing between us again!

So here we are 3 years later in our final year and I can feel us growing closer again..we text more often talking more often..Lots of eye contact across the room and when we talk I can feel her get flustered and I can see the twinkle in her eye again like when we were together first..Ive been crazy about her for over 2 years shes constantly on my mind and its heartbreaking every time I see her that we are not together cause I know she does feel something for me..My good mates agree there is something there between us (its not just me who thinks it!) I should also say that I have been with a good few different girls and its just not the same I keep thinking the same thing when im with a girl that its just not X.

SO should I per-sue this ? Third time luck and all that ?..My gut and my mates are saying yes but my head is saying if it doesn't work that it will be a very tough year and I will be devastated all over again.. Sorry about the confusing details there's lots more I could add!..Sometimes I don't even know whats going on..Id really appreciate all your feedback/thoughts/opinions..

Cheers boardies!..

SBW21

SBW21 wrote: »

This is a long and bizarre one!

Met this girl in my class (we will call her X) nearly 3 years ago in college, shes a shy enough girl..We became friends and ending up getting together every night we were out. This was great and going on for about 2 months, until she told me she loved me and wanted us to be together...This kinda freaked me out as I just started college and was still finding my feet and didn't want to rush into anything that would make things difficult between us if it didn't work out and were in the same class like..Also I wanted to do the whole college thing for a while.. So basically I turned her down one night and it ended messy on the night tears and all that..

We managed to stay friends and fast forward a few months we started hooking up again regularly on nights out, and slowly I could feel myself falling for her and there was nothing I could do. So one evening I just bit the bullet and told her how I felt she told me it was to late and she just walked away with a look of hurt in her eyes..I was devastated absolutely gutted I couldn't believe how bad I was taking this like im a 6 foot 4 inches rugby player..I just missed her so much like someone just cut me in two...

Anyways well into our second year of college things were quite between us for a few while bar the odd few kisses. Then one night i was with this girl and we randomly bumped into X on the way out the door. Our eyes just locked on each other and I could see the hurt in her eyes..I stupidly tried to talk to her there and then but her friends just pushed me away(the same friends don't like me anymore)! The following day I tried to talk to X I asked her why she looked so hurt if she didn't have any feelings for me any more ? She just said to forget it and walked away..I was still crazy about her and I could feel I hurt her that night..

Later that day i decided that this was it if i wanted to get over her we had to cut contact I deleted her number and kept my distance and kept contact to minimum. Things were quite between us for a while I saw her on nights out with different lads..fair enough like its a fair game but I was just really hurt by this.. After a few months of nothing between us we kissed one night..but then things just went back to there being nothing between us again!

So here we are 3 years later in our final year and I can feel us growing closer again..we text more often talking more often..Lots of eye contact across the room and when we talk I can feel her get flustered and I can see the twinkle in her eye again like when we were together first..Ive been crazy about her for over 2 years shes constantly on my mind and its heartbreaking every time I see her that we are not together cause I know she does feel something for me..My good mates agree there is something there between us (its not just me who thinks it!) I should also say that I have been with a good few different girls and its just not the same I keep thinking the same thing when im with a girl that its just not X.

SO should I per-sue this ? Third time luck and all that ?..My gut and my mates are saying yes but my head is saying if it doesn't work that it will be a very tough year and I will be devastated all over again.. Sorry about the confusing details there's lots more I could add!..Sometimes I don't even know whats going on..Id really appreciate all your feedback/thoughts/opinions..

Cheers boardies!..

Communication is the key here. You need to try get her to agree to meet up with you and thrash out the issues in a rational and calm fashion as you can. You may or may not get the answer you want and if so you both need to work out how to go on from there so as it wont affect your day to day life and your studies. Sounds like your both still a bit young and might need to take it slow but the signs seem positive that ye both do really like each other.
I suppose if you genuinely like this girl perhaps you should maybe use the opportunity i mentioned should one arise, to make a bit of a romantic gesture.
Women like to feel wanted (but not smothered with affection of course). You need to show her that your not the carefree lad you were at first but you've evolved into someone she can have a solid relationship with.
Love is never rational granted but the main thing here is for you to stay as calm as you can.

If she says no then believe in fate. put it down to experience and move on. Always believe that whatever passes you by is to accommodate something better in life.