Bit of a dilemma

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this, if that's OK mods.

I'm English married to an Irish national, and live here in Ireland having moved over when we got married. Since then, we've had a rough ride. My husband was made redundant within months of marrying, then he lost his mother in the same year. Apart from a short-term contract, I've been unable to find work since moving here. I've upskilled, and am doing various courses just to keep busy, and of course applying for lots and lots of jobs.
I love living here as the quality of life is much better than at home, but I've now come to the conclusion we need to move back to the UK as there's no hope of getting any work here. I hate the fact we're reliant on welfare, and I don't see any prospect of it getting better any time soon.
Although my husband is making all the right noises about moving back, I know he's not happy about doing so, and would much rather stay here. He comes from a small close-knit family and he would like to stay close to his father. I understand his reasons, but I'm not sure how much longer we can survive living like this.
Through all our troubles, we are and remain happily married. I don't want to force my husband into a move he doesn't want, but unless one of us gets a job, win the Lotto or robs a bank (!), I can't see any way out.
How can we get past this?

Merkin

Moving home is an expensive business so I wouldn't just move on a wing and a prayer unless you've got a job offer on the table. I think the solution to this is simple enough insofar as you should both apply for jobs both in Ireland and the UK and whichever comes up trumps first then go with that option.

edellc

OP you sound very familiar to a poster that I frequent on other threads so I will keep this vague

Look at the city you are in, its not know for its welcoming charm to outsiders, speak to your husband before you make such a life changing decision. We have two other bigger cities that are more open to multicultural diversity, one in the south and one in the north...have you looked at the jobs there, as it would be less finances to move and also just a train journey to for you OH to get back to his family if needs be.

If you are who I am thinking of I am very sorry that you are feeling this way and I for one would be ashamed of my country if you felt unable to get work due to discrimination of any kind, you have always spoken very highly of the city in which you now call home and of the people who live beside you.

If however you are not a the poster I am thinking of I am very sorry for this post and if I have caused offence I can only apologies with all my heart. Do consider all options before making this move and I have to agree with the poster above about having work lined up prior to leaving as I am not sure how the English welfare system works and if it is the same as over here you may have trouble getting if if you have been out of the country a number of years, but you need to check all of this out before making a decision.

Best of luck regardless

LegacyUser

Thank you both for taking the time to reply. I appreciate it.
I've been thinking about moving back for some time. I've mentioned it to my husband in the past, but it was only in the last week we've really spoken seriously about it. He agrees our situation isn't ideal, but I know he really doesn't want to go. He's fine visiting but would hate to live there. I asked him to gently broach the subject of moving back to his father. I've suggested this as his father deserves that courtesy at least and it'll give him time to get used to the idea. My husband hasn't yet spoken to him, and knowing him as I do, I think he's putting it on the long finger hoping something might turn up or I'll change my mind. I think Merkin's idea is much closer to my thinking. I think the best option is to get an offer , then we can think about the logistics. I think edellc has raised a very valid point too about getting Social Security payments if there is no job. I think my main problem is getting my husband to fully embrace to idea of moving back.