Help breaking up with girlfriend?

LegacyUser

I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year now. We really love each other, and rarely argue. I really do love and respect her hugely, but lately I feel like we've being drifting apart, due to not being able to meet regularly. We get to see each other once a week maybe, for around 20 minutes only sometimes. I often wonder how it feels to be single again, and honestly wish I was single. I feel like I'm dragging on the relationship which has no hope, but I really don't want to do that. I want to be single, and I honestly want to break up with her, but I don't want to break her heart (dilemma, I know). She would be devastated. I would just feel horrible breaking it off with her. I just 'don't feel the same way' for her as I used to, 6 months ago say. I want to break up with her, but I'm finding it almost impossible. I rarely see her alone (as in, it's just 2 of us), we usually meet with friends. I don't know how I'd break up with her, I wouldn't know what to say.. I think almost daily how I'll break up with her, but it never happens in the end cause I don't want to see her upset, and I stay playing along that all is well, which is horrible, I know.
Just asking for advice? Honestly don't believe the relationship can be saved. I would prefer to be single again. Asking for advice on how to break up with her and what to say, and if anyone has past experience with something similar to this..
Thanks.

Hardonraging

The grass isnt always greener chief, but if you insist on breaking up, man up and tell her out straight, dont wuss out and lead her on, dont him and haw when she ask's if there any hope in the future, and dont be mean about it .

Be firm, and clear, she wont want to hear you say sorry, but at least accept responsibly.

Merkin

You need to be brutal but kind if that makes any sense. By that I mean don't give such wishy washy reasons that she thinks you don't mean it or that there is hope of a reconciliation. Tell her that your heart is no longer in it and that you dont' want to string it along any further when you see no future in it. I'd call her as soon as possible and tell her that you need to meet her in person about something important which will hopefully forewarn her that all is not well - it's horrible being in your shoes but you will feel relief (and of course sadness) when you've done the deed.

Esoteric_

Like the others have said, just be honest with her.

You don't want to hurt her, which is admirable, but at the end of the day, you can't stick with a dead relationship just to keep somebody else happy. You can't make everyone happy, you can only make yourself happy.

Just tell her that you're not feeling the same way that you did, and if she asks why, be honest and say that you never actually spend time together as a couple or have an adult relationship and you want to be single because it's just not working for you.

daisybelle2008

OP you say you see each other at the very most once a week for 20 minutes with friends. Are you in secondary school? To be honest look at it this way, ye are only holding each other back by not breaking up.Ye will have lots of other relationships before you meet the right person.
She will get over it, if she doesn't that won't be your fault. Forget the silly cliches like 'the grass isn't always greener' that is wrong more than its right, don't be cowardly out of misplaced guilt. Just follow your own instinct, be true to yourself. Being with someone you don't want to be with is a terrible burden. Being a happy singleton, teaches you to not stay in relationships out of fear or for the wrong reasons.

HeyThereDeliah

There is no easy way to break up with anyone OP, you just have to tell her and face the conversation that will follow, just be honest but gentle at the same time.
It will not be easy but it's the right thing to do for both of ye.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

Yeah, i understand that I really should break up with her, as it's not good for myself being in a relationship I have no desire for.. and also yes, we are in secondary school.
I'm wondering now, when to break it off with her.. At the moment and past few weeks her life hasn't been too great. Her and her family are arguing quite a lot lately, and she's often really upset/quite depressed. I want to break up with her, but I don't want to ruin her life more than it is already ruined right now. I feel her life is bad enough right now without me breaking up with her. But, as I stay in this relationship I get less happier with it, as I know I'm just prolonging it (I don't show this unhappiness though).

I'm just wondering what your opinions of what I should do are.. Should I break up as soon as possible as it'd be what's best for me (I'd be less stressed out/worried about the outcome/be generally happier), or postpone it as she's not having great fortune at the moment.. ?

HeyThereDeliah

Only you can make the decision when to break up with her but if you are not interested in her it's better to tell her now.
I'm sure she will be fine, make sure her friends are there for her and the same for yourself, it will be ok in a few weeks.

tan11ie

Just end it! Seriously why would you drag it out when it's obvious your heart isn't in it.