Should I tell her I love her

LegacyUser

So I've been seeing this great woman for 3 and a half months. We're the same age (late 20's), we live maybe 40 miles away from each other. She has a daughter which can make it difficult to meet up sometimes as we work during the week and she has her daughter at the weekends and rightly so this is her priority. Having said that we meet at least once a week and mostly twice a week.

We get on very well and we've been in contact every day since we met with no signs of slowing down. Over the months I've been liking her more and more everytime we meet and I can say with some certaintly now that I love her. She tells me that she really likes me every now and then, and says that she's crazy about me, I reciprocate and I've almost blurted out once or twice that I love her but have caught myself just in time. I feel it's probably too early to say this. I'm pretty serious about her and I think she is about me too.

So far though we've been telling each other that we really like one another, kinda in the same way you would normally say I love you to someone. But I haven't told her exactly how I feel yet though.

I've done some searching as to how early people generally feel is too early. Some of the opinions are a little off putting. A lot of people think that earlier than 6 months is way too early and that they would actually run a mile if it was said less than 4 months into seeing each other! Then there are other posters that would never say it first and would just wait for the other person to say it even though they feel that they love the person in question. Sooo...

Is there anyway to test the water so to speak? By that I mean is there a way to hint at my feelings without actually saying I love you and risking a potential end to the relationship?

Or should I just hold on and wait a few more months?

Or am I simply overthinking this? (I do tend to do this)

Ellsbells

I wouldnt hint at it but if you think its too soon for her then hold off until you thinks he is on the right page.

ElleEm

If you love her, tell her!

My guy told me he loved me after two weeks! Usually I would have run a mile, but I appreciate him having the guts to say it so soon!

ManOfMystery

You're overthinking this.

If you love her, be honest and tell her. It's that simple.

If she loves you, she'll tell you back. If she doesn't, she'll do it when the time is right.

Real life is not a Hollywood film, and we don't all realise at precisely the same moment (whilst running down a tree-lined street with the wind blowing in our hair) that we love each other. Some people are more cautious, others take a while to fall in love, others never ever say it but feel it anyway. Your best bet is to go with just being open & honest and if it feels right, just tell her.

skinny1980

Notsurewhattodo wrote: »

So I've been seeing this great woman for 3 and a half months. We're the same age (late 20's), we live maybe 40 miles away from each other. She has a daughter which can make it difficult to meet up sometimes as we work during the week and she has her daughter at the weekends and rightly so this is her priority. Having said that we meet at least once a week and mostly twice a week.

We get on very well and we've been in contact every day since we met with no signs of slowing down. Over the months I've been liking her more and more everytime we meet and I can say with some certaintly now that I love her. She tells me that she really likes me every now and then, and says that she's crazy about me, I reciprocate and I've almost blurted out once or twice that I love her but have caught myself just in time. I feel it's probably too early to say this. I'm pretty serious about her and I think she is about me too.

So far though we've been telling each other that we really like one another, kinda in the same way you would normally say I love you to someone. But I haven't told her exactly how I feel yet though.

I've done some searching as to how early people generally feel is too early. Some of the opinions are a little off putting. A lot of people think that earlier than 6 months is way too early and that they would actually run a mile if it was said less than 4 months into seeing each other! Then there are other posters that would never say it first and would just wait for the other person to say it even though they feel that they love the person in question. Sooo...

Is there anyway to test the water so to speak? By that I mean is there a way to hint at my feelings without actually saying I love you and risking a potential end to the relationship?

Or should I just hold on and wait a few more months?

Or am I simply overthinking this? (I do tend to do this)

You are overthinking it because its emotion and not logical or subject to reason. If you feel you love someone then you probably do.
That's all that can be said really. So if you feel that you love her you tell her that.
Actually you should repeat nearly everything you just said in the above to her.

Reesy

ManOfMystery wrote: »

You're overthinking this.

If you love her, be honest and tell her. It's that simple.

If she loves you, she'll tell you back. If she doesn't, she'll do it when the time is right.

Real life is not a Hollywood film, and we don't all realise at precisely the same moment (whilst running down a tree-lined street with the wind blowing in our hair) that we love each other. Some people are more cautious, others take a while to fall in love, others never ever say it but feel it anyway. Your best bet is to go with just being open & honest and if it feels right, just tell her.

And I'd add, if you tell her, do so in such a way that she isn't expected to reciprocate straight away or respond immediately. Give her time & space.

cloud_dancer

There shouldn't be a time limit on these things. If you love her and then let her know. Any time I have fallen in love (4 times ) and it was reciprocated we usually said the words a month or two into the relationship. We said the words when we really felt them. Usually you'll know deep down.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice! I'll wait for the right moment but I'll tell her soon. I never really would expect her to say it back straight away, maybe not for months, but will make sure that when I do tell her that I do it in a way that there will be no pressure at all on her to reciprocate.

I've had a few relationships over the years and have never felt this strong about someone until her. It might take a week or three until I find the right time but I'll tell her.

Sorcha16

Love is always a risk, that's what makes it so exhilarating! There will never be a safety net, if that's what you're waiting for, so if love is what you feel, then express that to her

Boskowski

You could ease into it and be honest at the same time?

'I think I may be falling in love with you.'

Along those lines?