Ex Doesn't want to see his baby.

Janet1986

Hi guys,

Long story short, met a guy last year, we were meeting up for two months.

I caught him with someone else and discovered he was a compulsive liar, he was married with two kids and older than he said. it ended and i discovered i was pregnant.

He agreed to come see the baby and to put his name on the birth certificate.

My baby was born two months ago and he wants nothing to do with it

He apparently left his wife and two kids and moved in with a girl half his age.

All i want is for the baby to be acknowledged.

sReq | uTeK

Scumbag.

Surely you could seek legal action and get a DNA test, I'd be making sure he was paying support to you.

Don't let him get away with anything.

saiint

DNA
and child support
he will be paying you child support, as well as his ex-wifes child support
and as well as supporting his new gf when she gets preg
he will be owing out his money left, right and centre for the rest of his life
he deserves it
the ..... yeno the rest
dont let him get away with it

Ickle Magoo

Hey there,

Unfortunately other than going the legal route in order to try to get all you/your child are entitled to, your ex is under no obligations to personally acknowledge or have contact with his child.

In order to proceed down the legal route, you are best getting professional advice - you can check if you are able to get free legal advice from Legal Aid. There's also some info you might find useful HERE, HERE and HERE.

All the very best

Janet1986

Thanks for that

There's no question with the DNA, last person before him was in April 2010

Honey-ec

You can't force him to acknowledge his child if he doesn't want to, unfortunately. You can go down the legal route to try and force him to support the child financially in some way, but the court can't make him pay what he doesn't have, either.

My sister is in the similarly unfortunate position of having a daughter with a total waster. She eventually took him to court and he was ordered to pay €100 a week. That was back in May and so far she has received - €0. They've been back in court twice since (and are in again tomorrow), but because he's basically broke, there's very little the court can do bar chuck him in jail for a few weeks, but that won't make a jot of difference to my niece.

tinkerbell

Janet1986 wrote: »

Thanks for that

There's no question with the DNA, last person before him was in April 2010

Regardless, that is not proof. You need actually proof which a DNA test will give you. I suggest you get legal advice to get child support.

blatantrereg

Do insist he fulfil his legal responsibility for his child, like everyone else has said.
Unfortunately the phrase 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink' comes to mind when it comes to looking for any other sort of looking for any other sort of involvement.

dixiefly

I am very sorry to read about your situation and the situation that your child has been born into.

He is of course a scumbag but, unfortunately, there are quite a few of his ilk out there. Maybe he came across ok but some women I have met over the years amazingly claimed they prefer the bad boy.:eek:

Chase him down the legal route, if that doesnt work do you know any of his family well enough to get them to talk him round to at least acknowledge and pay towards upkeep of the child?

I know you certainly regret it now but is it not drilled into young people about the dangers of unprotected sex / no contraception without a definite idea of where the relationship was going? There are a number of threads like this that I would love to print off for my daughters.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, If you are not questioning paternity there is no need for a DNA test. It is an unnecessary expense on you to prove what you already know.

However.. if HE questions paternity, court will order a DNA test be done, but as he is the one questioning/disputing it, he will be the one to pay.

Anyway, as nobody is questioning paternity then DNA doesn't appear to be your issue.

You can not, ever, force him to acknowledge your child or be part of their life. That is something he must decide himself.

You can and should persue maintenance, however.

Janet1986

I was on the pill when it happend. He couldn't get it up if he used a condom

I will be paying a visit to the family mediation centre.


Thanks for the replies.

dixiefly

Janet1986 wrote: »

I was on the pill when it happend. He couldn't get it up if he used a condom

I will be paying a visit to the family mediation centre.


Thanks for the replies.

That was bad luck doubled up, 1st in meeting him and then getting pregnant on the pill.

He doesnt sound like the type of guy that will ever have an interest in the child but you never know. At least try & ensure that you get the financial support you are entitled to and you have been given good advice on the thread. A visit to a good solicitor would also be of benefit.

Merkin

As Ickle said, he is under no obligation to have anything to do with his child on an emotional or familial level. He does however have to pay maintenance so I would start proceedings in that regard to claim for any support you are entitled to.

I know you are hurt for your baby but by the sounds of things he doesn't sound like a particularly nice man and it's better for your own and your baby's emotional wellbeing for him to be out of the picture if he is an unreliable liar.

daisybelle2008

OP, I have always been confused about your posts. Maybe you can clear a few things up.
You have said in another thread that you knew he was married & in the first few week he put your name on swinging sites IIRC but you continued the relationship for a few months.
Was he the guy you were planning to move in with in July this year and you were wondering if it would affect your lone parents allowance if you moved in together?
If you didn't already I would get yourself checked for STD's.

Taltos

Hi daisybelle2008. If you have not recently done so please take some time now to review our charter.

Off-topic posting is not permitted here and can result in mod action been taken. The OP has posted looking for advice on how to deal with her EX not wanting to see their baby. Anything that may have been posted either in PI or in another forum is at the discretion of the OP to reveal.

As you can imagine this is a sensitive issue for the OP and so I would ask you and other posters to provide advice inline with information the OP provides here. At best your information might be fully correct and the OP might just be embarrassed at some of their life choices, at worst if you are wrong on even one detail the thread could be pulled off topic and the OP will fail to get the help they requested.

Thanks for your understanding.
Taltos

ash23

OP you may just have to accept the fact that he doesn't want anything to do with the child. Unfortunately it happens. It happened to me 10 years ago and it was hard to accept that he didn't want this child, who I loved with every fibre of my being. But he didn't. And once I accepted that it got easier. Some people are just able to live with disowning their child. it sucks but there's nothing you can do. You can't apply your own standards to another person.

Seek legal advice with regard to getting maintenance and then move on with your life and be the best parent that you can be.

Janet1986

@ DaiseyBelle2008. No i wasn't planning to move in with him! Christ No.

I was posting for someone else in that matter but was also asking for me too if i found myself in that situation. Single moms can meet new partners.

He removed my name from the swinging sites.

I stayed with him because i thought i loved him until i found out all.

I just thought it would be right by the child to see and know his dad, i don't mind that he is with someone else now.

Anyway the matter is sorted now and the ball is rolling

Ickle Magoo

Closed at the OP's request.