Something extremely embarrassing just happened me.

darlett

But no-one saw and no one would ever know. It wasnt criminal or immoral and no man or beast suffered as a result.

Should I feel a bit embarrassed or on this occasion do I get off scot-free? Is embarrassment purely linked to what we think others make of us?

Emotionally Im feeling only a giddy sense of happiness due to the relief that I wasnt seen. That doesnt seem fair.

westendgirlie

Well that was exciting reading

humbert

I think it's funny when you're the only one laughing, embarrassing when it's everyone else laughing.

not yet

He who laughs last and all that..

kfallon

Just change your jocks and go about your business ffs :rolleyes:

:P

Franticfrank

It cannot be embarrassing if nobody saw you do it. I would guess nobody here cares.

tmc86

why don't you tell us what you did then I can tell you if you should be embarrassed or not

dermiek

You could always share it with your buddies on boards.

Also, sounds like a thinly veiled "sometimes I'm a gobsh1te" thread.

:pac:

smash

what?

FatherLen

I've got a secret but I'm not telling you!

admiralofthefleet

this is like the idiot posts you see see on facebook from women:

'not having a great day at all '


OMG, what happened


'I dont want to talk about it'



then why fecking well post it, attentions seeking bellend

nocoverart

Well that was an informative OP. I know less now than I did before I clicked in

kfallon

FatherLen wrote: »

I've got a secret but I'm not telling you!

*hums The Crying Game*

Topper Harley

not yet wrote: »

He who laughs last and all that..

Yeah, he who laughs last most, laughs least, laughing or something...

darlett

kfallon wrote: »

Just change your jocks and go about your business ffs :rolleyes:

:P

Kudos! Close enough to win it.


Ok so not to be so vague about it. A situation evolved where the hero of the story was in the seated toileting position. When suddenly he could hear the gravy which he has sought to reheat, bubbling and popping about to boil over and make a nasty cooker top. Without ever fully leaving the toileting position due to a lack of time and proper planning our hero shuffled to the kitchen and moved the gravy off the hob. Before returning to aforementioned duties.

Oh My God, if a neighbour had have stopped in in that instance.

Shivers26

Something nobody else saw or knows about (barring total strangers on the internet) happened in the privacy of your own home?

Wouldn't even register on the embarrassing scale to be honest

kfallon

darlett wrote: »

Kudos! Close enough to win it.


Ok so not to be so vague about it. A situation evolved where the hero of the story was in the seated toileting position. When suddenly he could hear the gravy which he has sought to reheat, bubbling and popping about to boil over and make a nasty cooker top. Without ever fully leaving the toileting position due to a lack of time and proper planning our hero shuffled to the kitchen and moved the gravy off the hob. Before returning to aforementioned duties.

Oh My God, if a neighbour had have stopped in in that instance.

I was reading that bit as a euphemism about taking a dump :pac:

1ZRed

darlett wrote: »

Kudos! Close enough to win it.


Ok so not to be so vague about it. A situation evolved where the hero of the story was in the seated toileting position. When suddenly he could hear the gravy which he has sought to reheat, bubbling and popping about to boil over and make a nasty cooker top. Without ever fully leaving the toileting position due to a lack of time and proper planning our hero shuffled to the kitchen and moved the gravy off the hob. Before returning to aforementioned duties.

Oh My God, if a neighbour had have stopped in in that instance.

This is the strangest euphemism I've ever heard

saiint

darlett wrote: »

Kudos! Close enough to win it.


Ok so not to be so vague about it. A situation evolved where the hero of the story was in the seated toileting position. When suddenly he could hear the gravy which he has sought to reheat, bubbling and popping about to boil over and make a nasty cooker top. Without ever fully leaving the toileting position due to a lack of time and proper planning our hero shuffled to the kitchen and moved the gravy off the hob. Before returning to aforementioned duties.

Oh My God, if a neighbour had have stopped in in that instance.

i like gravy
but whats your secret :pac:

Topper Harley

darlett wrote: »

Kudos! Close enough to win it.


Ok so not to be so vague about it. A situation evolved where the hero of the story was in the seated toileting position. When suddenly he could hear the gravy which he has sought to reheat, bubbling and popping about to boil over and make a nasty cooker top. Without ever fully leaving the toileting position due to a lack of time and proper planning our hero shuffled to the kitchen and moved the gravy off the hob. Before returning to aforementioned duties.

Oh My God, if a neighbour had have stopped in in that instance.

I can see how that would be very embarrassing, but not not nearly as much as it is, just fucking weird.

Shivers26

kfallon wrote: »

I was reading that bit as a euphemism about taking a dump :pac:

I'm slightly confused myself. I can't decided is it about poop or actual gravy?

westendgirlie

Are we talking gravy granuals or real gravy made from real meat?

Rubecula

Gravy granuals sounds bloody painful if it was a euphemism.

Spread

I read it as the zucchini falling out of his trouser leg as he walked towards the door of the Dart

suicide_circus

Nothing embarrassing there. I once was on hold to Vodafone for ages and had to take dump, off i went and sat down, then Vodafone guy answers, i give details and while he waits for my info to appear on screen i unleash an unholy and clearly audible deluge into the porcelain. I wasn't expecting the ferocity and an uncontrollable groan of surprise and ecstasy comes from deep inside me. Vodafone guy was at a loss for words and began to stutter. I told him i would call back and hung up.

fishy fishy

darlett wrote: »

Kudos! Close enough to win it.


Ok so not to be so vague about it. A situation evolved where the hero of the story was in the seated toileting position. When suddenly he could hear the gravy which he has sought to reheat, bubbling and popping about to boil over and make a nasty cooker top. Without ever fully leaving the toileting position due to a lack of time and proper planning our hero shuffled to the kitchen and moved the gravy off the hob. Before returning to aforementioned duties.

Oh My God, if a neighbour had have stopped in in that instance.

is there a crying chair in your "studio" apt.

kowloon

westendgirlie wrote: »

Are we talking gravy granuals or real gravy made from real meat?

You will be judged on your answer to this.

OldNotWIse

30 seconds of my life I'll never get back

davet82

This thread is more embarrassing for you OP tbh

if you sharted just fcukin say so :rolleyes:

brummytom

I was on a phone-in quiz on CBBC when I was younger. They put me on hold for hours waiting, and I was bursting for a piss. I went and relieved myself when they began counting me in to being on air. I've never finished so quickly.

Was it not writing the thread title properly?

DyldeBrill

Can't say that this is at all embarrassing!

Try falling asleep face down in maram grass, after one too many at a beach party

ejmaztec

1ZRed wrote: »

This is the strangest euphemism I've ever heard

It was the kind of sh1t that Flutterinbantam used to come out with (in more ways than one). I thought he was back.

Ash.J.Williams

darlett wrote: »

But no-one saw and no one would ever know. It wasnt criminal or immoral and no man or beast suffered as a result.

Should I feel a bit embarrassed or on this occasion do I get off scot-free? Is embarrassment purely linked to what we think others make of us?

Emotionally Im feeling only a giddy sense of happiness due to the relief that I wasnt seen. That doesnt seem fair.

trust me you were seen....


I was told recently that 25 years ago i was observed somersaulting off my bike....picking myself up....looking around to see if i was seen.....dusting myself off and continuing on with my cycle to school as if nothing happened..

Aglomerado

FatherLen wrote: »

I've got a secret but I'm not telling you!

I've no willy!

When I saw this thread title I also thought it was about poo falling out of trouser legs. Strange.

Delighted to see that it was, in fact, poo related.

kowloon

ejmaztec wrote: »

It was the kind of sh1t that Flutterinbantam used to come out with (in more ways than one). I thought he was back.

Flutt was quite the wordsmith.

MJ23

are you going tell us what happened?

my ex, years ago.....

her - i need to tell you something
me - yes, what is it?
her - ah, i better not
me - okay
her - I knew you wouldn't care
me - what ? either tell me or don't, don't tell me you're going to tell me something and then not do it.
her - i hate you sometimes.
me - ? ? ?

I dunno how i did it for as long as i did, id be in the doghouse for absolutely nothing.
Dodged a bullet there.
It's like saying you're going to chipper and asking someone do they want anything, they say yes, and you come back with nothing for them. And you get in a huff with them. It's mind boggling.

seven_eleven

suicide_circus wrote: »

Nothing embarrassing there. I once was on hold to Vodafone for ages and had to take dump, off i went and sat down, then Vodafone guy answers, i give details and while he waits for my info to appear on screen i unleash an unholy and clearly audible deluge into the porcelain. I wasn't expecting the ferocity and an uncontrollable groan of surprise and ecstasy comes from deep inside me. Vodafone guy was at a loss for words and began to stutter. I told him i would call back and hung up.

You think thats bad? I was taking a dump one summer many a year ago. It was so hot outside that I had the window wide open, and in flew this aggressive f*cker of a wasp right as I was squeezing it out.

Now I have a huge fear of wasps, so my first reaction was to bolt outta there! But the shíte was half hanging and there was no going back, but at the same time this wasp was bearing down on me.
I stood up and kicked off my loose shorts as fast as I could, and ran out through the toilet door in a strange crab walk while I had me left hand cupped under me arse ready to catch the waiting bomb.

So I stood outside the now closed toilet door, with no pants or underwear on, with a big shítee hanging outta me arse and into my hand thinking "fúck, im not going back in there!"

Like a ninja, I made my way down the stairs to the other toilet to finish me business, making sure nobody saw me :cool: after that was done, and my hands were washed etc. I had to go back up to retrieve my pants! So I wraped the tiny handtowel around my crotch area, took off the rest of my clothes and proceeded to calmy walk back up the stairs proclaiming "Im taking a shower". :pac: It did the trick anyway, but I never did actually take that shower.

15 minutes later I was all suited up, hoover in hand and was prepared for battle with that absolute bástard of a wasp.

The End (true story)

teemm

I had something really embarrassing happen to me that no one knows about. But I'll tell. It was a warm but breezy evening and the back door was open. I was getting dressed but was only wearing something very skimpy. For some reason I opened the front door and stepped out into the porch. It suddenly occurred to me that with both doors open and this wind it could slam shut and I'd be locked out. I had a shivery feeling of excitement and fear at the thought.

Then it happened. I was locked out barely dressed and in daylight. There was only one solution I had to run out of the garden up the street round the back lane and get in the back door. This I did heart in my mouth. By some miracle I met no one and fell in the back door with huge relief.

Apparently no one saw me and I got away with it. Before now no one in the world knew about it. Now you all know! I'm going redfaced thinking about it.

CavanCrew

Needs more dragons and ****

SafeSurfer

CavanCrew wrote: »

Needs more dragons and ****

No just needs a "to", something embarrassing happened "to" me.

not yet

Nothing to see here folks..move along there.

Kovu

darlett wrote: »

Kudos! Close enough to win it.


Ok so not to be so vague about it. A situation evolved where the hero of the story was in the seated toileting position. When suddenly he could hear the gravy which he has sought to reheat, bubbling and popping about to boil over and make a nasty cooker top. Without ever fully leaving the toileting position due to a lack of time and proper planning our hero shuffled to the kitchen and moved the gravy off the hob. Before returning to aforementioned duties.

Oh My God, if a neighbour had have stopped in in that instance.

And this is how you looked.

http://imgur.com/gallery/pZy9X

mauzo

I once got on my hunkers to change the channel with the box and pooped on my sitting room floor.

I was in a bath robe at the time. Oh how my boyfriend laughed .

The end.

MJ23

mauzo wrote: »

I once got on my hunkers to change the channel with the box and pooped on my sitting room floor.

I was in a bath robe at the time. Oh how my boyfriend laughed .

The end.

I nearly got sick when i read that.

Plazaman

I was caught tapping my foot to a Chris de Burgh song on the radio last week. Fúcking morto. I wish I had shat myself, less embarrassing.

the keen edge

suicide_circus wrote: »

Nothing embarrassing there. I once was on hold to Vodafone for ages and had to take dump, off i went and sat down, then Vodafone guy answers, i give details and while he waits for my info to appear on screen i unleash an unholy and clearly audible deluge into the porcelain. I wasn't expecting the ferocity and an uncontrollable groan of surprise and ecstasy comes from deep inside me. Vodafone guy was at a loss for words and began to stutter. I told him i would call back and hung up.

At least you had the decency to tell him you would call back; and did not just hang up without warning.

Well done Sir you have restored my faith in polite society, while also giving me a bloody good laugh.

BBDBB

slow news day

optimistic_

mauzo wrote: »

I once got on my hunkers to change the channel with the box and pooped on my sitting room floor.

I was in a bath robe at the time. Oh how my boyfriend laughed .

The end.

Sure it's easier to change channel with your fingers than your box?

say_who_now?

MJ23 wrote: »

are you going tell us what happened?

my ex, years ago.....

her - i need to tell you something
me - yes, what is it?
her - ah, i better not
me - okay
her - I knew you wouldn't care
me - what ? either tell me or don't, don't tell me you're going to tell me something and then not do it.
her - i hate you sometimes.
me - ? ? ?

I dunno how i did it for as long as i did, id be in the doghouse for absolutely nothing.
Dodged a bullet there.
It's like saying you're going to chipper and asking someone do they want anything, they say yes, and you come back with nothing for them. And you get in a huff with them. It's mind boggling.

Reminds me of my wife going out the other night, we had ordered the cab and went downstairs to wait for it when suddenly she decided she didn't want to go out.

I said "of course you're going out!"

"No I don't want to go out now!"

"OK so, we'll go back up home" (just as the cab arrives)

"OK I'll go out so!"

"Good stuff"

(We all jump in the cab, we've an eight year old child so I wasn't leaving him at home on his own while I dropped my wife off to the pub. I was minding him that night).

We get out to the pub and suddenly she looks at the door and goes "Ah no, I don't want to go in now".

It's lucky the car was dark and nobody could see me about to pop a blood vessel!

I turned round, "We're not coming back out now if we go home now!".

Drove home, got in the door, she turns round and goes "You were forcing me to go out!".

Dodged a bullet MJ? Looks like I got a whole six-shooters worth! :pac:


As for embarrassing moments when I thought nobody saw me-

Me having a quick after-school tug when my mother passed by my bedroom window on her way to the clothes line...

At 12 years of age, ya just never think to close the damn curtains first!