seperation anxiety

mspractical

hey finished with hubby he doesnt support me and the kids in any way, financially,physically or emotionaly.how do i help myself n kids if neither of us will leave the family home.he is trying to bully and intimidate us to leave.we have nowhere else to go.:(

Taltos

Sorry to hear about this.

Firstly - do nothing - don't bow to pressure without getting some professional advice.

There are a few resources on the useful link thread - some of which also offer free legal advice - please reach out to a few as soon as you can and learn what your rights are.

Secondly - as well as getting advice legally on where you stand look into getting counselling for both you and the children. This can be a traumatic time and having someone to just listen to you can really help - even more so for the kids.

mspractical

Thanks Taltos il do that x

Abi

mspractical wrote: »

hey finished with hubby he doesnt support me and the kids in any way, financially,physically or emotionaly.how do i help myself n kids if neither of us will leave the family home.he is trying to bully and intimidate us to leave.we have nowhere else to go.:(

I completely agree with Taltos. you need to really take care of yourself and your kids during this turbulent time. may I ask, is the house rented or owned by you both? Do find yourself a good solicitor if you don't already have one. People do worry about the financial strain of getting one, but even an initial visit with one will give you a sense of direction and a focus / route to take.


Stay strong and motivated hon, your kiddies need a happy mom. The focus tends to come off them sometimes when big stuff like this is going on between the parents, but they need reassurance that everything is going to be okay.

Go to your local district office tell them that your ex is not offering you any maintenance. you can still apply for maintenance even if you are living under the same roof. Please do this sooner rather than later, it will help take at least some financial pressure off you.

best of luck hon.

mspractical

thanks Abi! the house is ours,i just dont know if my name is on the deeds. cant afford a solicitor as im unemployed but im looking into legal aid.

aujopimur

mspractical wrote: »

thanks Abi! the house is ours,i just dont know if my name is on the deeds. cant afford a solicitor as im unemployed but im looking into legal aid.

The family home belongs to both in equal shares. As you have no income, apply for legal aid at your local Law Centre. In the meantime if you are being threatened, harrassed on intimidated, you can apply to your local court for a protection/barring order. Don't delay and good luck.

Ken.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/barring_safety_and_protection_orders.html

How to apply

To apply for a barring order or a safety order you must go to your local District Court Office. If you live in the Dublin Area you must go to the Dublin District Family Law Office (see 'Where to apply' below). However, you can go to the Dublin District Court Offices in Swords if it is closer to you.


When you get to the District Court Office, the District Court Clerk will help you to fill out the correct form. You do not need a solicitor to make an initial application, but it is recommend you have legal representation for a full court hearing.




If you are applying for a barring order or a safety order the court clerk will arrange a court date for a court hearing. You will be given your summons for the court hearing at the time of your application. A summons will be sent to the respondent by ordinary post. The respondent is the person you need to be protected from or want barred from your home.


While you are waiting to go to court to get your barring order or safety order, you can get a protection order or an interim barring order immediately. If you want a protection order or an interim barring order the District Court Judge will hear your case on the day you make your application for a barring order or safety order.


If you do not want a protection order or an interim barring order immediately, you can seek one at any time before your case is heard for a barring or safety order.


When you get your barring order, safety order, protection order or interim barring order you show it to the Gardai in your local Garda Station. Do not give them your order (you can allow them to take a photocopy). A copy of your order will be sent to the Superintendent of your local Garda Station by registered post the following day.


A safety order, barring order, interim barring order or protection order takes effect from the time the respondent is notified of the order. This can be done verbally, together with the production of a copy of the order. If the respondent is in court when the order is made the respondent is considered to be notified. A copy of the order will be sent to the respondent by ordinary post. In some cases, the Judge may direct the Gardai 'to serve' the order on the respondent . This means the Gardai will hand the order directly to the respondent.

Could one of the mods be so kind as to maybe add in the link to the useful links sticky please.

sffc

As has been stated your home has special protection because you are married and have resided there .
Beg borrow and steal if necessary to see a solicitor - be aware many offer a first consultation free -go to several if you have to . Do not be embarresed or ashamed in any way -first of all you shouldn't be anyway and secondly your solicitor will have heard 100 storys like yours . Tell all the facts , hide nothing .
I am assuming from what you have written that you are paying the vast majority of the household bills and child expenses . Keep and make sure you have evidence of this . Avoid paying for anything in cash ...keep reciepts !
I'm open to correction but I think you can apply yourself to the district court for maintainance orders etc . for a very small fee . Even if he doesnt show up a judgement can be made in his absence . You might think this is only for separated people but if you aren't sharing a bedroom etc .you are probably technically separated anyway despite being under the same roof .
Hope this is some help ...but see a solicitor and know your rights and options . Don't wait .

westies4ever

mspractical wrote: »

thanks Abi! the house is ours,i just dont know if my name is on the deeds. cant afford a solicitor as im unemployed but im looking into legal aid.

contact the land registry - landregistry.ie - they can check whose name is on it - or the bank you hold your mortgage with (if you have one) - maybe they could check as they should hold the deeds?

mspractical

thanyou to everyone for your advice xxxx