The formalities - Have you done it on your own??

BeeBees

Regular poster going anon.
Myself and expartner are separated a year. We've managed to keep things 'amicable' up to now and have agreed re. children etc. Now there's just the house:
ExP has agreed I can buy him out as I live in the family home with the children. No price or anything agreed at this stage. In my head, I hope to get the house valued, work out a price and see if we can agree something between us. Then obviously, we involve solicitors, but just to finalise things.

While no one can tell how this will all go down with exP, I just want to know am I foolish/naive in this day and age to try this without outside help?
Has anyone else done it and how did it go?

Abi

I think it wouldn't do any harm to have a chat with a solicitor tbh. It all seems straight forward to me, but a solicitor might be able to throw in some valuable pointers / help you get i's dotted and t's crossed.

BeeBees

Hi,
Thanks for the reply. At risk of sounding smart, from what I can gather, any meetings with a solicitor are going to set me back €150 which is also why I want to keep it to a minimum.
I have spoken to a solicitor through Citizens' Information but he really didn't give me any specific info.

Abi

BeeBees wrote: »

Hi,
Thanks for the reply. At risk of sounding smart, from what I can gather, any meetings with a solicitor are going to set me back €150 which is also why I want to keep it to a minimum.
I have spoken to a solicitor through Citizens' Information but he really didn't give me any specific info.

BeeBees wrote: »

I just want to know am I foolish/naive in this day and age to try this without outside help?

This specific bit here ^ is why I suggested having a chat with your solicitor. Even though it all seems clear cut, I personally would rather bounce everything off my solicitor. Its up to you at the end of the day, which matters more? Saving money or the confidence to know all ends are being tied up and nothing has been overlooked?

BeeBees

Thanks. Appreciate it.

Daisycakes

Started the procedure by my self in August, will update when more happens. I did get the solicitor who was witnessing the civil bill etc to quickly read over them, found courts.ie a great help.

BeeBees

Thanks for that Daisycakes. I'd be really interested in hearing more about your experience with all this / how much you had to formalise etc and whether you'd recommend it (!!)
Maybe you'd PM?

Ickle Magoo

Hey BeeBees,

While I appreciate why you'd make the suggestion, as per the S&D forum charter we ask that posters don't ask other posters to enter into private consul with them.

Many thanks.

BeeBees

Sorry!

up for anything

If you are that far along with agreeing things it might be an idea to value the house and then yourself and your ex go and see a mediator - a private one will cost but you will get to see them quickly. Keep it to one or two visits and they will help you draft an agreement which you can take to a solicitor and them to formalise it. Better to spend a few euro now than regret it down the line.

Casey_81

Have you tried mediation
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/family_mediation_service.html

its free and could be a good option for you

Jennifer Eccles

I'm doing the same.
Myself and my wife have had to employ an accountant to put our assets on paper, create an affidavit of means and suggest the best way to share our collective assets without incurring silly taxation charges etc.
Apart from that, we hope not to employ solicitors at all, doing the documentation under the guidance of a court clerk of 20+ years experience.
We're led to believe that this will reduce the cost of the divorce hugely, while not allowing solicitors to raise divisive and spurious contentions between us.

So far so good.

BeeBees

Thanks for the reply, especially the part about solicitors raising contentions that (for me) may not be there in the first place.
Appreciated

Payton

Can I ask how you got on? I'm trying to get my wife to agree to a separation but she's not budgeing, and to be honest I/we can't afford a judicial.
Sorry for bumping the thread :-P

sffc

OP ... you and everyone in your situation need legal advice for three reasons :
Firstly you need to know minimum you should expect and maximum you should hope for realistically and financially and what Irish family law principles govern your situation.
Secondly in any separation both parties generally want to negotiate something pretty watertight ie final. If either or both of you haven't sought legal advice your agreement is more likely to be able to be challenged in the future and possibly set aside.
Thirdly you have no idea whether your partner has sought legal advice. An "amicable " partner 90% of the time has got prior legal advice that (a) they are getting a great deal (b) not to tell the other side they saw a solicitor and (c) to do everything in their power to make sure the other side don't see one.
Legal advice is money well spent imho considering the vast amounts of emotions money at stake in separations . The same ppl who moan about solicitors fees spent fortunes on weddings and wouldn't dream of buying a house without an engineers report etc. You have been warned!

Payton

sffc wrote: »

OP ... you and everyone in your situation need legal advice for three reasons :
Firstly you need to know minimum you should expect and maximum you should hope for realistically and financially and what Irish family law principles govern your situation.
Secondly in any separation both parties generally want to negotiate something pretty watertight ie final. If either or both of you haven't sought legal advice your agreement is more likely to be able to be challenged in the future and possibly set aside.
Thirdly you have no idea whether your partner has sought legal advice. An "amicable " partner 90% of the time has got prior legal advice that (a) they are getting a great deal (b) not to tell the other side they saw a solicitor and (c) to do everything in their power to make sure the other side don't see one.
Legal advice is money well spent imho considering the vast amounts of emotions money at stake in separations . The same ppl who moan about solicitors fees spent fortunes on weddings and wouldn't dream of buying a house without an engineers report etc. You have been warned!

We both have gotten legal advice, and I was given a figure of around €15k which is out of reach at the moment. I could hang on in for another 3.5 yrs and apply for a divorce but for my own peace of mind I'd like to know that I could do it the DIY way.