Advice please on domestic violence.

magicface1

Hi everyone.

Ok I have neighbours that are Nigerian and have 4/5 young kids. Yesterday when I came in from work I thought I could hear something banging next door. Left it then all of a sudden there were two people shouting at each other. I just thought maybe they were just having a fight as you do sometime. But this last for a good hour then all of I heard a big bang like someone pushing someone against some table or something like that. Then it went quiet for a 5 minutes then more shouting and another big bang with glass breaking and could hear the kids roaring crying. Then all of a sudden I could hear slaps and punches and he was roaring at her and all I could hear her saying was stop. Then it all stopped not a word from either. Got to a stage at one time I nearly called the guards. So that was fine they must sleep in the same room on the other side of the wall as the houses are semi detached. Anyways they were back roaring at each other this morning and I could hear him hit her proper smacks and she was balling crying and the kids roaring crying again. As i write this they are still roaring at each other. Anyways looking for advice I don't know what to do should I ring the guards or will they do anything.

SunnyDub1

Call the guards!!

First of all - the family or someone in the house could be serious danger. it sounds like an awful situation that needs to be addressed to straight away.

Second of all - Not fair on you or any other the other neighbors having to listen to that day in and day out.

anmhi02

Ring the guards....the children are exposed to abuse....THE CHILDREN FIRST ACT will kick in and be acted upon by the gardaI And / or the a and e staff when hopefully the injured party is removed....don't leave it. You could end up with a dead person next door. Whats going on is wrong and esp to the poor children

Merkin

Absolutely call the guards. Poor little bubbas being witness to something as horrifying as that

Lollipops23

Call the Guards. Any one of those punches could kill her. Don't wait and see. Do it now.

curlzy

Agreed, call the gardaí, worst that will happen: nothing's done. Best that will happen: you save someone's life. Either way, doing nothing is wrong.

LifesgoodwithLG

I would say that your head is melted OP, However please call the guards, evil can only be allowed to continue when the good do nothing. Wrong is wrong is wrong, call them please.

HeyThereDeliah

How long have they lived there? Is this the first time you head a loud row?
I would only call the guards if it was a regular occurrence as everyone can have rows.
Just because parents have rows does not make them bad parents or put the children at risk.

SunnyDub1

HeyThereDeliah wrote: »

Just because parents have rows does not make them bad parents or put the children at risk.

Sounds a little more serious then a row

magicface1 wrote: »

Then it went quiet for a 5 minutes then more shouting and another big bang with glass breaking and could hear the kids roaring crying.Then all of a sudden I could hear slaps and punches and he was roaring at her and all I could hear her saying was stop

putting your kids through what is OP posted does make them a bad parents and does put the children at risk!!!

Beruthiel

magicface1 wrote: »

I don't know what to do should I ring the guards or will they do anything.

Call them!
Call them every single time you hear a fight!
I'd even go to the trouble of dropping leaflets of womens shelters in to her (not while he's in the house obviously). As she is not Irish, she may not know of their existence.

HeyThereDeliah

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

Sounds a little more serious then a row




putting your kids through what is OP posted does make them a bad parents and does put the children at risk!!!

Yes it does but I would want to know if this is the first time it happened before I would go calling the guards.
I'm not agreeing on the kids at risk good parents can have rows in front of the kids, we don't know the circumstances, he hit her maybe he gets hit as well.
Sometimes trying to help people can only cause trouble for yourself as the victim does not appreciate it.

SunnyDub1

HeyThereDeliah wrote: »

Yes it does but I would want to know if this is the first time it happened before I would go calling the guards.
I'm not agreeing on the kids at risk good parents can have rows in front of the kids, we don't know the circumstances, he hit her maybe he gets hit as well.
Sometimes trying to help people can only cause trouble for yourself as the victim does not appreciate it.

OP stated that it had happened last night then again this morning!

Either way whether it be the first or 10th time, it doesn't make the situation any different when domestic violence is involved

" he hit her maybe he gets hit as well " so that makes it OK?

I agree parents argue and that doesn't make them a bad parent but when there is violence involved and children are roaring crying - it does question the ability of the parenting and whether the children are in a safe environment to be brought up in.
Exactly we don't know the in's and out's.... Who's to say there not abusing and assaulting the children as well!

HeyThereDeliah

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

OP stated that it had happened last night then again this morning!

Either way whether it be the first or 10th time, it doesn't make the situation any different when domestic violence is involved

" he hit her maybe he gets hit as well " so that makes it OK?

I agree parents argue and that doesn't make them a bad parent but when there is violence involved and children are roaring crying - it does question the ability of the parenting and whether the children are in a safe environment to be brought up in.
Exactly we don't know the in's and out's.... Who's to say he's not abusing and assaulting the children as well!

Where did I say it's ok if he gets hit as well ? Domestic violence happens to men as well same as she could be abusing and assaulting the children.
My point I would not go jumping to conclusions assuming he is wrong without the full knowledge of what's going on. OP states there were two people shouting at each other.

Domestic violence is never ok from male or female.

anmhi02

HeyThereDeliah wrote: »

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

Sounds a little more serious then a row




putting your kids through what is OP posted does make them a bad parents and does put the children at risk!!!

Yes it does but I would want to know if this is the first time it happened before I would go calling the guards.
I'm not agreeing on the kids at risk good parents can have rows in front of the kids, we don't know the circumstances, he hit her maybe he gets hit as well.
Sometimes trying to help people can only cause trouble for yourself as the victim does not appreciate it.

It doesn't matter who hits who, no one should be hitting anyone....either way the kids should not be exposed to it!!!! they are probably scared out of their minds. It should not be happening full stop. What happened anyway.....what did OP do???????

SunnyDub1

HeyThereDeliah wrote: »

Where did I say it's OK if he gets hit as well ? Domestic violence happens to men as well same as she could be abusing and assaulting the children.
My point I would not go jumping to conclusions assuming he is wrong without the full knowledge of what's going on.

Domestic violence is never OK from male or female.

You didn't but you did say " he hits her maybe he gets hit as well" I don't get this? it's still violence - still a reason to get guards involved!

I didn't mention anything about a "man" in ANY of my post ?? Again ---->>> *confused*

The point I was making is whether man OR woman at risk, it sounds like a situation that needs help!

HeyThereDeliah

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

You didn't but you did say " he hits her maybe he gets hit as well" I don't get this? it's still violence - still a reason to get guards involved!

I didn't mention anything about a "man" in ANY of my post ?? Again ---->>> *confused*

The point I was making is whether man OR woman at risk, it sounds like a situation that needs help!

THis is what you said !!
" Exactly we don't know the in's and out's.... Who's to say he's not abusing and assaulting the children as well"



They might both need help, he could be the victim she could be the victim, they could both be acting in self defence who knows .

Ickle Magoo

Folks,

Bickering over what-if's is hardly helping the OP or relevant to their advice request.

OP - the advice is unanimous. Contact the garda and ensure they are aware of the situation and thus can investigate/help/intervene.

All the best.