Breastfeeding in court?

Missy1987

Hi not sure if this is the right place but I'm just wondering if anyone can help me. I'm in court with my baby's dad next week for maintenance, access and guardianship however my baby is breastfed only and does not take expressed milk in a bottle at all. My problem is that I don't know how long I will be in court for and I am wondering is there anyway that I can bring baby with me or is this not allowed?

MarkR

Legal everywhere in the country, doesn't mean you won't get odd looks. Could be a long and boring day for a baby. Do you have to be there in the building, maybe you could do something nearby?

There's a newborn and toddlers section here, and a breast feeding support thread at the top of the page there.

MagicSean

If its a family law court you can wait outside until your case is called and then go in and leave the child outside with a friend or family member. If the case goes on a bit long then your solicitor could ask for a brief adjournment so you can attend to the child.

Missy1987

I don't mind the odd looks as long as baby is fed. My plan is to leave her with my sister and for my sister to bring her in to me if I'm not back close to feeding time or if she seems to be getting hungry, I'm wondering will the judge allow me to bring baby in while our case is being heard if I need to? I just don't want the baby to be upset and hungry. Any idea how long the hearing of these kind of issues take. Basically I am contesting her father having guardianship so I'm worried we could be there a while. My solicitor does not seem to think it will be ok to bring the baby as children are not normally present for these hearings but surely the needs of the child are what's most important? And surely I wouldn't be expected to leave my baby go hungry? The case is being heard in waterford so does anyone have any ideas on how long I will be in the courthouse for? Can't seem to find any info about this in the other forums.

MagicSean

Missy1987 wrote: »

I don't mind the odd looks as long as baby is fed. My plan is to leave her with my sister and for my sister to bring her in to me if I'm not back close to feeding time or if she seems to be getting hungry, I'm wondering will the judge allow me to bring baby in while our case is being heard if I need to? I just don't want the baby to be upset and hungry. Any idea how long the hearing of these kind of issues take. Basically I am contesting her father having guardianship so I'm worried we could be there a while. My solicitor does not seem to think it will be ok to bring the baby as children are not normally present for these hearings but surely the needs of the child are what's most important? And surely I wouldn't be expected to leave my baby go hungry? The case is being heard in waterford so does anyone have any ideas on how long I will be in the courthouse for? Can't seem to find any info about this in the other forums.

That's because every case is different. Some last five minutes, some last hours. A judge is unlikely to appreciate any disruption in court.

Missy1987

Ok thanks, on another note any idea how much access a father is generally given with a 5month old? He has only started seeing her in the last month (he was around when she was born but decided to not bother with her for 3months and then all of a sudden I get a summons in the post for court, he is a bit of a waste of space (he smokes cannabis from the moment he wakes to the moment he goes to bed) whom I'm pretty sure is only taking me to court because of his family are pushing him and because he gets free legal aid but that aside I don't have a problem with him seeing her as long as he has not been smoking and acts responsibly) he has never contributed to anything bought for her and has only started paying maintenance the last 3 weeks and has also tried to convince me not to take him to court for maintenance. He is currently seeing her for an hour twice a week any idea if he is likely to get much more then this? And how likely is it he will be granted guardianship? I would give him guardianship myself only I don't think it is in my child's best interests to have someone under the influence of cannabis having a say in relation to decisions regarding a child's welfare. Id prefer not to have him in her life at all if cant give up smoking this for her but I'm sure he is still going to be given access to her regardless.

Squ

In relation to baby being breastfed in court, as Sean said, if its that urgent, your representation can ask for an adjournment.

As for dad smoking, your solicitor should ask for a screening. If positive, then you should request monitored access only.


Any reason you're not asking your solicitor these questions?

Missy1987

My solicitor is a family friend who Has only had limited dealings in these types of cases, I do not have free legal aid and cannot afford another solicitor and I know this solicitor will not charge me through the roof. I know she is looking into it so she will know everything she needs to know when it comes to it, she seems to think there is a good chance things will not change in that he will still only have the limited access he has and that there is a good chance he won't get guardianship. I'm just very anxious and nervous about it so was looking for some input from others who may have been there before or who have a lot of experience in family law courts. I have a degree in legal studies myself however when I was studying things were a bit different and it seems that fathers are getting more then they used to (obviously i do think this is a good thing unless the father is not a responsible person)

MagicSean

Not sure how wise it is to have an inexperienced solicitor in family court, especially if you plan on throwing criminal accusations at the father. How do you know he still smokes? Has he convictions for it?

hierro

Putting up a fight against any form of access for the child's father is foolhardy if not represented by an experienced solicitor whom practices in the court in question.

An assumption that a man whom smokes a bit of cannabis will not make a good father is not a great reason on its own to limit access or to restrict it completely.

Personally and without any ill will towards the op, I think there are too many fathers whom have nothing to do with a child to dismiss a man who wants to be part of his child's life.

A child has no place in court in these hearings apart from demonstrating the fact that the child cannot be without mother for a few hours.


Edit: I should say that the father may have changed his mind in relation to his involvement, whether influenced by his family or not and it may be benifical for the child in the long run.

Missy1987

He smokes cannabis from the moment he gets up to the moment he goes to bed! It is not an assumption that he will be a bad influence! He is constantly stoned!! I Do not make assumptions regarding my daughters welfare!! Do you think it is appropriate for someone who thinks it is harmless to drive whilst under the influence of an illegal drug to be allowed to take care of a baby?? I am not trying to make him stay out of her life I simply want to make sure my child is cared for appropriately! My solicitor does practice in court and does know what she is doing and she would not act on my behalf if she was not capable! And if i cannot afford another solicitor due to the fact every penny I have is spent on my daughter who do you suggest I have represent myself??
Myself and the father are on relatively good terms actually as in we do not argue mainly because he is a very abusive person whom I do not wish to fight with around my daughter! You seem to be making the assumption that he is a good daddy never mind he breaks the law on a daily basis and does something that could possible put his child in harms way! I know this man and I know he will not be a good influence on my daughter mainly due to the fact that i have seen him smoking his cannibis around his neices and nephews without a second thought! I did not ask for your opinion on whether he would be a good daddy i was simply looking for some input as to whether I will be allowed to feed my child in court and what kind of access he is likely to get! If you cannot answer those questions then don't bother posting. All I care about is the welfare of my child and if I turn a blind eye to his smoking then surely I would be an unfit mother!! Also during his access he sits with her and turns on cartoons on the tv and he falls asleep! Twice in the space of 2weeks I have come to take my baby back and he is asleep! If you only see your baby twice a week would you not prefer to play with her than leave her fall asleep and fall asleep yourself? She is not tired when given to him so quite clearly he is not doing anything to have her attention. None of what I have said above are assumptions!!! Yes there is a possibility that he has changed his mind and wants to be apart of her life however that is not clear at all from his actions!! I can see him sat in his car rolling his cannabis and driving away from my house smoking it!! In my opinion that is enough to tell me he is still smoking it and it is not just 'a bit of cannibis' it is an illegal drug that i do not want around daughter! I even schedule his access in the morning to try to ensure he has not been smoking all day before spending time with her. I have given him plenty of opportunities to prove himself and he failed every time by not showing up to visits with his daughter, by showing up with drink and drugs in his system, not contributing to the cost of caring for her, not even buying her a small teddy or anything to show he cares for her and by abusing me whenever he felt like it and each time I have given him another chance. Now would you appreciate having a father like this? Because I wouldn't!!!
I know court is not a place for a child but how do expect me to feed my child when I cannot afford the equipment to express milk and i do not feel that I should have to change my child onto formula just for a court hearing when breastfeeding is what's best for her?

Thanks to the other posters who have actually been helpfull. That is fine I do not need anymore advice on this issue as this is not about other peoples views on cannabis or someone making a good dad and i will just take the advice my solicitor has given me I was simply looking for anyone who had been in a similar situation to see how they got on.