I don't understand Females!

mascherano11

So to make a VERY long story short, I've been flirting with this girl (we kissed once or twice) via Facebook for like 6 months and basically she comments/likes anything I put up on my page and gives me little compliments like "Hot body" and "I know it looks like I stalk you, but I just happen to be online when u upload things"

As I said this has been going on for 6 months and the the amount of flirting that was done between us was incredible... I resisted asking for her number until the weekend (after pressure from female friends) when she left a comment on something I put up asking me where I was going out this weekend and I replied "Send me on your number and I will let you know later what my plans are" I dropped it casually into conversation and no reply whatsoever from her which has me completely baffled. Is she playing some sort of game or something I cant figure it out? Like she has be leaving me the most flirty comments for 6 months or more and when I throw that out I get nothing back from her.

Can anybody shed some light at what her game is as she has me stumped? Bear in mind that this girl is really hot (her career is actually in modelling) so is she just trying to play me for a fool? I just cant seem to come up with a logical reason for her to pretty much blank me when I asked for her number as she has been the one iniciating all of this flirty/banter we had going on!

ranger123

mascherano11 wrote: »

" I dropped it casually into conversation

That`s your mistake, she noticed that its an just casual request. Show her some attention by intentionally ask for her number!

mascherano11

She asked me where I was going Saturday night I said I'm going to X (we'll call the place X) she then replied that's our 1st stop amazing! At a party first but be there by 12. And I just replied by saying send me your number and I will let you know what my plans are! What more attention does she want?! Is dropping it casually in conversation not better than say private mailing looking for her number no?????

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

mascherano11 wrote: »

She asked me where I was going Saturday night I said I'm going to X (we'll call the place X) she then replied that's our 1st stop amazing! At a party first but be there by 12. And I just replied by saying send me your number and I will let you know what my plans are! What more attention does she want?! Is dropping it casually in conversation not better than say private mailing looking for her number no?????

I would say no. Im assuming this was either a wall chat, or comments below a picture. Both of which are public. So if she posts her number up it'll be available to all friends on both your and her page.

Considering a lot of people do add acquaintances as friends, that may not have your/her number it's understandable she doesn't want to do this.
Send a private message, ask again.

ranger123

jar_of_coins wrote: »

Send a private message, ask again.

Yeah, that's it

Richy06

So...she told you her plans. So why not meet her there and talk to her in person and get her number then?

mascherano11

To be honest I just picked up on her lack of reply as rejection really, which made me wonder why she was bothering leaving flirty comments for ages,I was just planning on blanking her now after that. No sure about about PM her would that not be a bit desperate asking a second time like? If she wanted to give the number surely she would have....

ranger123

If you will always be this sensitive with girls surely you will die 75 years earlier mathematically you will die before born

The first situation at which you asked for the number was loose & not reflecting rejection/hesitation from her side it could be of anything. No problem of sending her PM asking for the number if she ignored you just change to gear five, move on and look for who will be NEXT.

jellygems

yeah im not sure id take u as interested in me if that was me u were talking about

pm her on fb and ask her for her number sure whats the harm she will either give it or some wont but at least ull have ur answer

mascherano11

jellygems wrote: »

yeah im not sure id take u as interested in me if that was me u were talking about

pm her on fb and ask her for her number sure whats the harm she will either give it or some wont but at least ull have ur answer

What way would you have taken that message I sent her if you were her Jellygems? As a matter of interest..... I thought by saying that to her I was making it pretty obvious to be honest

LegacyUser

You're are being too casual about it and that could be construed as a friends situation. I think you need to make it more clear and ask her right out. Chances are she likes you too since you have kissed twice and there's all the flirting.

She probably doubts your interest in her.

Go for it.

jellygems

mascherano11 wrote: »

What way would you have taken that message I sent her if you were her Jellygems? As a matter of interest..... I thought by saying that to her I was making it pretty obvious to be honest

to me you said it very causal which would lead me to think that you were just been friendly and wanted to hang out but not interested in her lets say romanticly did i spell that right, you get the idea

just say it, sure what harm can it do? bsides shes interested i wouldnt be arsed flirting with someone im not interested in to much effort

shampooman

Private message her " Hey you! I normally dont do this but you seem almost mentally sane so here is my number *insert number* Please no prank 3am phone calls as I'm usually out feeding the poor and doing general superhero stuff and can not be distracted

The trick you see is to be light, breezy, casual yet at the same time you want to declare your interest. Go for it and once she gets your number and texts dont delay asking her out. Beating around the bush texting is as exciting as watching Oprah on a Wednesday evening.

If she dosent text you back then she's not really interested and just likes the attention or genuinely just being friendly. Either way you will know.

Best of luck!

mascherano11

Cheers for the replies guys... My head is completely melted with it! Maybe it did sound a bit casual now that you guys mention it but I suppose I just expected her to PM me with her number and when I got no reply I kind of that she was playing me...

I initially didn't want to ask her outright for her number because as I said she is a model and I'm sure has plenty of guys throwing themselves at her.. And I didn't want to be just another one of those, and I think that is what keep her coming back to me with the flirty comments etc....

Ickle Magoo

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Legaleagle123

Contact her!! Chances are she doesn't know you like her since you have been casual about it, how would she.

mascherano11

I thought I made it pretty clear by saying send me on your number and I will let you know my plans/whereabouts obviously not, as the title of the thread says I don't understand females!

Legaleagle123

mascherano11 wrote: »

I dropped it casually into conversation

That's where you went wrong I think.
If it were me and a guy said that to me I would think it was just a casual thing said in passing that he just says to everyone.

mascherano11

Maybe you are right. Just did not want to seem too interested you know? Usually fails to impress the women in my experience that why I opted to casually throw it out there and kind of leave the ball in her court

ranger123

You made a war from really very SIMPLE issue, I guess even if you get the number your going to mess it up at some stage, anyway as I said earlier change to gear 5 & remember life is highway.

Richy06

I still don't know why you don't just go to the club she told you she's going to be at and chat to her there like a grown up as opposed to 'blanking' her. Maybe she's playing hard to get. Maybe she thinks, 'I've told him where I'll be, there rest is up to him'.

Either way, blanking her won't help and won't exactly cast you in the most favourable light yourself.

If you insist on trying to pursue the relationship exclusively via Facebook, you might not get anywhere. Pluck up your nuts and just ask her straight out.

mascherano11

mascherano11 wrote: »

I thought I made it pretty clear by saying send me on your number and I will let you know my plans/whereabouts obviously not, as the title of the thread says I don't understand females!

Considering you're the one blanking her after she told you clearly where she'd be, the feeling might be mutual.

The attitude you gave off was "sure I'll text you if I'm bothered which I might not be". Then you decided not to show up where she'll be?
Stop playing games and just ask her properly

mascherano11

Why would she not send me her number then? Because she doubts I'm interested in her? I actually work in a bank and spotted her last week while on my break and waved ( She didn't see me) I said it to her and she said "I've a little friend that works in that bank brown hair hot body do you know him? And I didn't really reply to that message just kind of laughed it off, wrong of me again?

blatantrereg

bluewolf wrote: »

Considering you're the one blanking her after she told you clearly where she'd be, the feeling might be mutual.

The attitude you gave off was "sure I'll text you if I'm bothered which I might not be". Then you decided not to show up where she'll be?
Stop playing games and just ask her properly

Yeah the tone of your message was pretty cold compared to the tone of the messages you describe from her.

Worse again your message was public and would be seen by a lot of her friends. It makes her look foolish for being enthusiastic. If she's confident and sure of herself (which it sounds like she might be) that will just translate into contempt for you.

"Playing it cool" is only a little better than being a gushing buffoon really. With the latter you make a fool of yourself. With the former you make a fool of the other person.

Saying you dont understand females is a massive cop-out. Imagine you said to someone it was amazing that you were getting a chance to meet, and they responded by saying give me your number and I'll let you know what my plans are? I'd be offended and find it pretty presumptuous myself. Nothing to do with gender.

mascherano11 wrote: »

she said "I've a little friend that works in that bank brown hair hot body do you know him? And I didn't really reply to that message just kind of laughed it off, wrong of me again?

Yes of course. Why did you think it's ok to ignore someone asking you a question? That's very rude.

mascherano11

How exactly was it presumptuous?

blatantrereg

I'd have found it presumptuous of them to expect me to give them my number in the context.

mascherano11

Oh my god I just put something up on Facebook and she commented on it, something light hearted. I just don't know what the deal is with this girl!

mascherano11

mascherano11 wrote: »

Oh my god I just put something up on Facebook and she commented on it, something light hearted. I just don't know what the deal is with this girl!

I don't know what the deal is with you.
Stop playing games with her and ask her out. If you don't want to go out with her, stop messing around and move on. It's pretty simple and you're seriously overcomplicating everything.

mascherano11

I'm still of the opinion she should of sent me her number when I asked for it, we will agree to disagree on that one maybe. She initiates everything then I ask for the number and Nothing!

dellas1979

I would just ignore her to be honest-sounds like she is looking for an olde ego boost from you. You asked her for her number fair and square.

I dont agree with other posters who said you should have gone about it differently. Asking for a number is asking for a number. She is not holy Mary incarnate. And she didnt give it.

So, if you want to stop the game playing, just ignore her!

Legaleagle123

mascherano11 wrote: »

Oh my god I just put something up on Facebook and she commented on it, something light hearted. I just don't know what the deal is with this girl!

For gods sake ask her and be done with it! She either says yes or no and you'll know. If she's a messer good riddance and if not well then that's great but do it!

Roisy7

Maybe she didn't even see your message asking for the number?!! Facebook might have had an episode or something.

Seriously OP you're overthinking this, it's obvious this girl is into you and by blowing hot and cold like this (not replying to her messages etc) she won't be much longer.

Far from not understanding women, game-playing like this is why women say they don't understand men!!

daisybelle2008

mascherano11 wrote: »

Why would she not send me her number then? Because she doubts I'm interested in her? I actually work in a bank and spotted her last week while on my break and waved ( She didn't see me) I said it to her and she said "I've a little friend that works in that bank brown hair hot body do you know him? And I didn't really reply to that message just kind of laughed it off, wrong of me again?

I would say something back like 'oh yeah he asked for your number and you didn't give it, so now he thinks your a tease'.
Don't over think all this, just point out in a jokey way that you got no number, so you are not going to be all flirty and let her off. No need for it to be all dramatic and game playing on both sides.

Meauldsegosha

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

I would say something back like 'oh yeah he asked for your number and you didn't give it, so now he thinks your a tease'.
Don't over think all this, just point out in a jokey way that you got no number, so you are not going to be all flirty and let her off. No need for it to be all dramatic and game playing on both sides.

I wouldn't write something like that because its hard to judge tone when something is written. And she might not appreciate being called a tease. I wouldn't and I don't think most women would.

Nearly three pages of posters have told you to ask her out, they can't all be wrong. Sti ovethinking it, stop messing with Facebook, go to the nightclub (or wherever you know she will be) and chat to her face to face.

Big Bag of Chips

To me it reads like.. she told you where she would be going that night, for someone's birthday.

The fact that it's a birthday and a group thing makes me believe she has no control over where she will be at a given time. Because she will be out as part of a group where no doubt the birthday girl/boy gets the biggest say on where they'll be.

You said you'd be in such-a-place. She said she'll be in such-a-place, at such-a-time. (sounds like a plan, has been loosely made between you) and then you throw a spanner in the works by adding... Send me on your number and I'll let you know what my plans are.

To me that sounds like a backtrack on your part. You had already told her your plans to be in such-a-place, and then told her you'd let her know what your plans were. Her plans were fairly concrete in that she has to go with the group... So to her, it was irrelevant what your plans were, because she's not in a position to leave her group to go find you. On this occassion, it's up to you to be in the place that she is. Not texting your plans to her, and expecting her to follow you....

I know it was your way of asking for her number, but in this instance you worded it badly.

I agree with the others, you are HUGELY over complicating this. In your effort to be 'cool' and casual with her you are messing up.

Be direct.
What's the worst that can happen? What's the best that can happen?

Edit: By the way - Does she have your number? Instead of asking for hers, why don't you give her yours and tell her to text you when she's in such-a-place and you'll meet her?

dannyc31

OP you dived in there too quickly asking for her number on fb. she was flirting with you for all this time to work up to a point were she could suggest thats she will be somewhere and would tell you where she will be.

on the other hand she could just been doing this to many lads and is just enjoying the attention.

just so you know women have massive insecurities going on in their heads all the time especially good looking women. they can be most insecure of all due to the fact they get approached alot less in bars because men are intimidated by their good looks. she probably died when you asked her out so directly. you have to be more subtle and smooth about it. the party would of been ideal and then if you hit it off in conversation then you could exchange numbers.

i think fb is responsible for making alot of people very lazy in the dating game. think back to when our parents were dating and the only way it was gonna happen was if you were brave enough to do the walk of shame across the dance floor and ask a girl to dance. we could learn a thing or two from them

mascherano11

That was my biggest fear that maybe she was just craving attention for the last 6 months. I just threw it out there casually as I said to see what sort of a reaction it would receive I suppose! Maybe in hindsight (a wonderful thing) I could have been a bit more subtle, but I was just sick of all this flirting and banter that's been on going. Thing is I really do actually like this girl because we are very similar and the same sense of humour etc...

But I tend to agree with one of the posters above asking for a number is asking for a number and I got no positive response when I threw it out there so maybe it's time to forget about her and cut out the correspondence plenty more fish and all that!

emmythegreat

Is she single??

mascherano11

Yeah we are both single

blatantrereg

mascherano11 wrote: »

That was my biggest fear that maybe she was just craving attention for the last 6 months. I just threw it out there casually as I said to see what sort of a reaction it would receive I suppose!

You really seem to have a defensive mindset with regard to her. I'd guess it's because you see her as out of your league and therefore distrust her apparent interest in you. The fact most of your interactions are online can only worsen that sort of thing. The fact a lot of them are probably public (on facebook walls) again would make you feel exposed if you were feeling like that. You possibly ought to rate yourself a bit higher (without getting cocky - humility is often refreshing for good looking girls as it tends to be cocky guys who approach them).

I'd be pretty certain that's why you came across to her like you did. It's also why your reaction now is to cut her out.

You caused her loss of face by your response imo. You could post a reply to the comment thread saying something like -haha sorry I think I sounded pretty abrupt or something there! Would be great to see you saturday

That would restore face for her, without making you look bad yourself. Puts things into a positive tone; not taking yourself too seriously; aware of how you might effect others. I'd follow up with a private message only if and when she responded in a positive manner - leave the ball in her court so to speak.

Big Bag of Chips

mascherano11 wrote: »

But I tend to agree with one of the posters above asking for a number is asking for a number!

So, in 4 pages of advice you agree with 1 person because they told you what you wanted to hear?

Ok. Maybe it is better to cut contact now, because even if something does start up between you two, you will end up wrecking her head by constantly second guessing her, why she's interested in you, what you should do/say next.. etc.

4 pages of a thread about trying to arrange to meet a girl in a place that you will both be? How can it be so complicated?

She is openly flirting with you. You have kissed. She seems interested and has told you she will be in the same place as you, and you are still trying to find problems....

Lorna123

My opinion is that this girl loves to flirt with you but doesn't want things to go any further.

Gerry T

Lorna123 wrote: »

My opinion is that this girl loves to flirt with you but doesn't want things to go any further.

Lorna I wouldn't necessarily agree. She flirts, kisses and tells him where to meet her on a night out. I think she's interested in him. My opinion is he is nervous and doesn't want this girl to reject him so thinks if he backs away then he will save himself that embarrassment.
Mascherano what is it that's stopping you, are you shy, insecure, afraid of the conversation dying ? do you think she's out of your league ?
I don't think you're getting any new advice on this thread, why not meet if the opportunity still exists but go with an exit strategy. Say you can't stay long as you have to meet someone etc.. That way you get a short time and if it goes well you can always try to organise another meet before you leave ? Far easier to judge how she feels about you when you see her body language and how she reacts.
Easy for us to say what to do, best of luck and I do hope you try and meet, life is about living and doing, go for it

ranger123

this comment is deleted

Ickle Magoo

OP, you've had three pages of advice - I think we've exhausted all options at this stage, the rest is up to you.

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