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Having Strange Feelings

  • 06-10-2012 8:11am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My wife and i rescently seperated and she has brought proceedings against me, despite all her allegations being unfounded including the gardai all i got was 1 hour a week supervised access with my 4 kids, i've not seen them since last March, access started last week and it felt strange, the 2 eldest kids do not want to see me and did not turn up, my wife said that they do not want to see me.

    despite how it sounds, I do'nt really care if i never saw them, people were saying to me they dont know how i coped, i just got on with it and i dont think i ever missed them, i know it sounds very strange but that's how i feel and i'm seriously thinking about giving up the access and not requesting any at the next hearing
    ,
    i feel numb about the whole situation as if theyre not my kids at all, i know it sounds terrible, i've done the whole counselling thing and it was useles

    did anyone else ever feel like this?


Comments

  • #2
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Hey there OP,

    As the S&D forum is for getting advice/support on issues relating specifically to the separation/divorce process, altho related, I think your thread on your parenting role is better suited/will get more relevant advice here in personal issues.

    There are support contacts available for marriage/family break down and family law issues HEREand HERE and I would recommend you don't make any decisions which you may later regret before discussing your case and how it's making you feel with one or more of them.

    All the very best.


  • #3
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Psychologically I'm curious as to whether it might be something to do with a Paternal Instinct. However, I'd pursue Ickle's Advice.


  • #4
    Queen-Mise
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,461 ✭✭✭Queen-Mise


    Seems like shell shock to me or something like that... It is like as the paternal instinct is 'gone'...

    Losing your wife and kids would affect anyone severely, your emotions shut down & that was maybe the only way you could cope. And now the kids are back - you have 'forgotten' how to turn the emotions on again.

    Stick with the visitations at the moment - in a way an hour is probably enough while you get yourself together.

    Go to the doctor and tell him what you told us & see what he suggests. Find a different counseller/psychotherapist, something that suits you, and work on the emotions things again.

    Do not underestimate how much of an effect the marriage breakdown had on you. And there nothing really you can do about the two older kids, they will come around in time.

    Look after yourself in the meantime so you can be a good dad again.


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