Textiquette ?

Aurongroove

I've never had a text chat with anyone as a means of first contact until about last week and I really can't tell if it's going well or not.


anyone care to share do's and don'ts and pearls of wisdom for that potentially special someone.

are you allowed to text twice before the next response?
what if its been a lone time?
what subjects are discussion material what are taboo?

etc etc. go nuts.

baby and crumble

I treat texting like any other means of communication. If you want to say something, say it. I don't really understand all the rules tbh.

Shakti

keep it simple otherwise protracted texting will be expected of you further into the friendship/relationship and eventually when you cant be arsed with it you'll be accused of 'being in a huff' etc.

1ZRed

I don't think there are any rules or set do's and don'ts. Just keep it light hearted and easy going. If you both get on it'll come naturally and you won't have anything to worry about. All I wouldn't do is go mad into your life story or personal things. It's not the best to be on the other end of that.

Multiple texts, do what you like. I don't though unless it's a smartphone layout (like Grindr) where the texts can be shorter and you can have a bit of fun. Either way it's up to you.

keepkeyyellow

Aurongroove wrote: »

are you allowed to text twice before the next response?

etc etc. go nuts.

No, just keep it chilled like. If they doesn't reply just leave it.

jaffacakesyum

I fricken hate texting. It's great if the other person is in the same mindset as me (as in, generally replies quickly, will keep conversation going etc.) But a while ago I was dating this girl (not sure if dating is the right word for it but anywho) and we got on great. I went away for the summer so understandably didn't expect to jump right back in there - she could have things going on in her life now. But texted her about meeting up - she said she'd love to and we should do something soon. Nothing happened. Again, I invited her out one night and she was busy but said the next time definitely. So I said feck it I'm not gonna be the one doing all the chasing so left it. She rang me recently which was thoughtful, as we wouldn't be the type to speak on the phone. Since then though has ignored my last two texts.

Wtf? Do I leave it and take this as she's not interested? Do I hound her with texts? Do I call her? :rolleyes: Wish people would be straight forward. If I had been seeing someone but felt it wasn't going anywhere and didn't want to see them again I'd let them know.

Sorry for hijacking the thread by the way

Aurongroove

you're not hijacking, this is precisely on topic..

Yeah I dislike when people just flat out stop responding, you feel like texting "emm, are you ignoring me long enough for me to take a hint, or have you been involved in some sort of traffic accident? because you're responses up until now have not given the impression you want to end the conversation"

I think you should at least give people a week, because what if they just ran out of credit and need to wait until the next pay day but are to proud to say? what if something important did happen? etc.

jaffacakesyum

Yeah I agree to give some time - some people run out of credit or just aren't great with using mobile phones or are just very busy. I don't think that I am someone who comes across too 'into it' or 'needy' but I do try my best to text back promptly and I've no shame in being the one to do the chasing but at the same time I need something back! There's only so many excuses you can make for someone. You have to be realistic and go with your gut if they're regularly not texting back, making the first contact, agreeing to/suggesting meet ups. I'm not going to keep going after someone if they're not interested so I wish they'd just tell me!! Annoying, as I liked this girl.

Anyway, you say this is your first time using texting as a means of first contact. My advice would be to quickly move it from texting to meeting up. I've had it happen to me before where I'm texting someone for forever, getting on great and beating around the bush too much that by the time I met her I was really disappointed that we didn't 'click'. Texting is all well and good but you have to meet the person to know

TheSockMonster

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I fricken hate texting. It's great if the other person is in the same mindset as me (as in, generally replies quickly, will keep conversation going etc.) But a while ago I was dating this girl (not sure if dating is the right word for it but anywho) and we got on great. I went away for the summer so understandably didn't expect to jump right back in there - she could have things going on in her life now. But texted her about meeting up - she said she'd love to and we should do something soon. Nothing happened. Again, I invited her out one night and she was busy but said the next time definitely. So I said feck it I'm not gonna be the one doing all the chasing so left it. She rang me recently which was thoughtful, as we wouldn't be the type to speak on the phone. Since then though has ignored my last two texts.

Wtf? Do I leave it and take this as she's not interested? Do I hound her with texts? Do I call her? :rolleyes: Wish people would be straight forward. If I had been seeing someone but felt it wasn't going anywhere and didn't want to see them again I'd let them know.

Sorry for hijacking the thread by the way

Saying "oh we should meet up soon" doesn't really work. You need to be upfront about it. "Fancy going out for a drink/coffee/lunch on Saturday?" would be much better. If she ignores a text like that I'd leave it because she's obviously not bothered.

To the OP: I'd say two texts together are ok but anything more than that comes off a bit strong.

jaffacakesyum

TheSockMonster wrote: »

Saying "oh we should meet up soon" doesn't really work. You need to be upfront about it. "Fancy going out for a drink/coffee/lunch on Saturday?" would be much better. If she ignores a text like that I'd leave it because she's obviously not bothered.

To the OP: I'd say two texts together are ok but anything more than that comes off a bit strong.

I have done both to be honest. I sometimes do do the whole "we should meet up soon" thing to which she agrees and nothing happens. But I did ask her out one night and she wasn't available so I feel it should be up to her at this stage. I'll see what happens anyway!