Dating again

SineadMarie

So I met this guy he asked for my number and we were intouch, Today I decided to tell him I wasn’t interested in keeping in touchreally and that I’m not looking to even date right now.

I guess I was doing it all for the wrong reasons, I’m stillin love with my ex I decided to completely cut him out of my life we triedreally hard to be friends but it always ended in us getting intimate with oneanother like a friends with benefits thing!

I’m trying really hard to move on. I’m going to counsellingand mediation. Some people say dating isgood to help you move on but I just feel like I need to be on my own right now,I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else right now. Is this normal??

curlzy

Well done you! I remember you. So you're in counselling and working on yourself? Very WELL done!!! Going through counselling is tough so don't worry too much if you feel things strongly or in unusual ways, counselling can bring up some stuff. Just feel what you feel and don't worry about it. I think you did the right thing in not dating right now, best to concentrate on yourself.

Keep fighting the good fight. The only way from here is up

Well done again.

Ickle Magoo

Yes, very normal.

In fact it's the best thing for anyone who's been in a toxic relationship they have had much trouble extracting themselves from.

You were given the advice in one of your previous threads to spend some time on your own and I think you'd be wise to take that advice on board.

Well done on going to counselling - hopefully that will help put your ex in perspective.

All the best

SineadMarie

Yea the counselling is amazing thanks. I'm still very emotional and up and down everyday but i think it's going to take time esp the fact i only cut him off last week! I miss him terrible but i think i did the best thing only way to move on i guess. Yea i got great advice here last time and i've taken it all on board. I know some people might think i'm an idiot going back to my ex for the odd fumble but i wasn't strong enough to resist it, still getting there but i'm hoping with no contact and the regular counsellin i'll get back to normal.

Thanks for the advice again, i felt terrible telling him i didnt want to be in touch even with him, seemed like a lovely bloke but i couldnt face it, maybe next year i can start looking again, only when i'm well enough!

Stavro Mueller

Yes, well done you on doing the right things. I remember you too and I know you've had a hard time with a couple of bad relationships, especially the last one. It's very early days and you have enough on your plate for now. Sort yourself out first and heal your heart.

You don't sound like you're in the right head-space to date just now so you'd not have been fair to this new guy anyway. Good on you for being straight with him and not messing him about

curlzy

Hey again,

Yeah things will be up and down for a while. I've been to 4 different counsellors in my time and what I've learned from it is that you have to just take it slow, do what they tell you and try not to be hard on yourself. You've obviously had a bad time but you're turning a corner now. It can feel like a rollercoaster at times and you'll be happy one minute and down the next but it does level off. You are doing the right thing here, you deserve to be happy and you will be, it'll just take some more work.

Well done again

SineadMarie

Thanks so much your all very kind. Yea was getting to a stage where he was still in my life and he'd text me i've be on a high and then when i didnt hear from him i was falling from that height to a really low place. Was awful! I had to find a medium place where i'm not going through that and the only way to do it was cut contact, as painful as it is, i've finally taken control. I know some day i'll be happy. I've been through a pretty crappy few months but im finally taking steps to get better. I know if i stay on my own and concentrate on me that i'll be back to myself in a few months, well heres hoping.

Yea i'd never string anyone along, i think he was only after a bit of fun again and i don't want someone like that. I was only doing it to bandage over the heartbreak and thats not fair on anyone!