Parent/Teacher boundaries

LegacyUser

A close friend of mine in her 40's is a teacher in a rural school. A parent (dad) of a pupil of hers has called to her house twice in the last 2 days, once at 7pm in the evening, once at 8am in the morning, to discuss his son being- allegedly- "bullied". The child is in first class &not exactly known for being shy and retiring, but that's besides the point).
My friend is very uncomfortable with being called on, at her home, to discuss a work issue, with someone whom she only knows through work, not personally. I also think it is out of order that this man would land on her doorstep whenever he feels like it.
Advice would be appreciated.

Ickle Magoo

If she is very uncomfortable why can't she tell him as a school issue, it'll be dealt with/discussed on school grounds and ask that he not call at her house?

Redbrunette

She needs to explain to the parent that all problems need to go through the school. Tell her to tell him he needs to make an appointment to see her during school hours by ringing the school, so she can go through official lines. She also needs to talk to her Principal about the matter.

looksee

Agree with the above answers. It is a good policy, especially in rural areas where everyone is likely to know where everyone lives, to flatly refuse to discuss students off the premises, even if you know the parents.

tinkerbell

The teacher needs to advise the school principal of this - it is not appropriate that this parent is calling to the teacher's home to discuss this, it's a school matter, not a personal one.

SusieBlue

It seems very inappropriate to me, I would get the principal involved and get him/her to approach the family to tell them it isn't acceptable to call to the home of a teacher. If I were her it'd make me very uncomfortable.

njs030

Agree with all the above, get the principal involved to call the parent and ask him to come to school to discuss the issues.
My cousin teaches my child and I wouldn't even consider ringing/visiting her about school problems!!

blatantrereg

It's inappropriate of the parent to approach her like that as everyone has pointed out - but it would be also inappropriate for the teacher to discuss other pupils outside of school [and alledged bullying obviously involves other children]. In fact that would be a serious breach of protocol from her point of view that perhaps could result in serious discplinary against against her. I haven't heard of qualified teachers doing this, but I heard of a case where a student teacher was immediately dismissed from a placement for such behaviour.

The parent might well be pushy if the teacher merely insists on him respecting her own privacy - he's not exactly demonstrating courtesy as it is, after all. However he might not feel he has any grounds to press the matter if she also points out she's not actually allowed do what he is trying to pressure her into doing.

LegacyUser

The only reason I know why he was calling is because I live next door, and when I asked my friend, she just said he was calling about a school matter, said she couldn't discuss anything about the ins and outs of it, only that she felt it was very uncomfortable to be approached in her own home about a work issue.
The child is well known locally as it's a small rural area, & kids-& parents- talk.

blatantrereg

dfadklfja wrote: »

The only reason I know why he was calling is because I live next door, and when I asked my friend, she just said he was calling about a school matter, said she couldn't discuss anything about the ins and outs of it, only that she felt it was very uncomfortable to be approached in her own home about a work issue.
The child is well known locally as it's a small rural area, & kids-& parents- talk.

no no I think you took me up wrong there. I was criticising the child's father for pressuring her like that and suggesting a strategy for getting him to back off. Wasn't commenting on anything you and she said to each other at all.