Friend backstabbed me

Craftycat1117

I am best friends with a girl wo I also work with in a large office environment , I have been friends with her about 3years since she joined our firm, I'm there seven years, she's 25 and I'm 30. I accepted a transfer to another building the other side of the city and will be moving in three weeks. Since my transfer became known she has been cold towards me, I am her senior in the office and have really put a serious effort into her development and progression ,encouraged her through studies, defended her when she messed up, and was key in her getting two promotions and getting really interesting projects, I even gave her the good stuff and took the boring stuff myself to give her as much exposure as I could.
Outside of work I have been the best friend ever, never forget birthdays, always doing favours, being on the end of a phone any night she wanted to talk and do her encouragement and lied to get her out of trouble I would consider myself the ultimate friend.
However despite all this I have heard this week that she has gone to our boss and said that I don't do my work, always get her to finish it, I don't make decisions and that I'm untidy and that the office will run better now that I'm being transferred. I'm in total shock as I never thouugt she was getting too much work from me as she likes to be busy and always asks to do new things so I have given her tasks I would normally do to develop her and give her variety, she never said anything to me about any of this.
I'm now in total shock that my best friend would say these things to our boss I'm more hurt than anything as there is no reason for this .she doesn't want to go any further in the job. My question is now should I confront her about what I heard or just forget it or should I go to my boss and report it?

Ellsbells

Who told you she said that? How do you know it's true?

blatantrereg

I think it's a bad idea to make friends with people you have authority over, or who have authority over you.

Sounds like bitchy jealousy, mixed with trying to get your old job.

Since it sounds like you've practically groomed her for it, it seems pointless or counter-productive to go about it in that sort of way.

Big Bag of Chips

Unless it was your boss that told you, you don't know for certain that she did say any of that. It could be someone just trying to stir trouble.

If she is that good a friend, then you should be able to talk to her first. Maybe you thought you were giving her opportunity to forward herself, maybe she thinks you were piling on the work. Are their others under you? She may not like to feel she was getting 'special treatment'. Or maybe the others weren't happy with her 'special treatment', so she might have bitched to them about you 'piling on the work' just to make her day easier sitting beside them?

Until you find out what she said, if anything, then I don't see a reason to go to your boss. Surely they'd call you in if they thought there was reason to? Have a chat with your friend, and then if you feel you should, have a chat with your boss. I don't know if there's need to actually report it, but you can put your side across.

Lorna123

She must think that you asked for this transfer so that you would have no more work dealings with her and this must have upset her. I don't understand it myself. Surely the boss is putting two and two together himself and will know that all of this is just sour grapes. You have obviously been doing a good job in that office for 7 years so they will know that too. I presume you were not transferred based on what this girl said about you? I think I would find out first if this is true and if it is I would confront her and ask her why she felt the need to do such a thing. I would certainly be reconsidering her as a friend too. It is never a good idea to get too friendly with people we work with as it has a habit of backfiring. I don't know why this is but people being human always let you down at some stage and it is better that it is not in the work environment. What an insecure b.tch to do such a thing.

username123

Lorna123 wrote: »

It is never a good idea to get too friendly with people we work with as it has a habit of backfiring.

+1

Its not professional to be buddies with someone you have power over or who has power over you. There should always be some distance.