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Don't know how well I'm dealing with this

  • 29-09-2012 10:40PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey all

    Well, myself and my ex broke up about three months ago. It was a mutual decision as we wanted different things, but it was still very upsetting, as we had been going out for four years and we were very close. The first few weeks were horrible, and, for comfort, I used to go to sleep on the couch with the tv on, 'cause I found it hard to go to bed without him.

    Since then, I've done the single thing, and really enjoyed it. I've met lots of new people / had a few romantic encounters, and, generally, had a good time.

    But, now the single thing is wearing thin and the novelty has worn off. I know it's wrong, but I'm back to missing my relationship and being in one. I want to be back in a relationship again - I miss what I had so much.

    I've slept on the couch again with the tv on for the last few days. It feels like I'm going backwards.

    I know I should be happy being my own person and having fun with life (which I am), but I miss having a best friend who I can share everything with, and trust, and come home to and love inside out.

    Jaysus - I miss him so much.

    I know break-ups happen all the time. I'm just wondering if they keep hurting after so long.


Comments

  • #2
    Roisy7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Roisy7


    Aw Jesus, my heart goes out to you, it really does.

    It's been three months and you were going out for four years. Those type of feelings don't go away overnight and you can't hurry it.

    Do you remember that episode of Sex and the City where they say it takes half the length of the relationship to properly get over someone? Not that I'm saying it will take 2 years for it to be ok again, but you were never going to get over a four-year relationship in three months.

    Perhaps it's been a bit of delayed reaction because you haven't really allowed yourself enough space to get over it? What you're feeling is ok and it is allowed.

    Have you a good friend you can confide in, someone you can tell "look, I'm feeling a bit down about X"

    Give yourself time and patience and don't beat yourself up. You'll get there in the end. x


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    When you say you both wanted different things, what were they? Marriage/kids/lifestyles?
    Basically, was it a dealbreaker situation or do you think things could be retrieved?
    If it's any consolation, I broke up with my ex after a similar timeframe, and it took& is still taking a long time to stop missing him.


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