Looking to emigrate

OnTheCounter

I would like to emigrate early next year as I can't get work here. I would probably head to either the USA or Australia.

I have a 2.1 business degree but no revelant work experience.

I am on the scratch and have no savings. I figure I would need E5k to pay for flights and rent/deposit/food/bills/transport in the new country while on the job hunt.

I have considered selling my ass but its only little and at a fiver a pop could suffer permanent damage.

So there must be a lot of people here in the same boat.

Whats the plan?

squod

OnTheCounter wrote: »

.

Whats the plan?

Win the lotto.

holystungun9

How little is your ass exactly? We may be able to work something out in.

senorwipesalot

OnTheCounter wrote: »

I have considered selling my ass but its only little and at a fiver

There was a young man named Counter
Who was fond of the odd anal encounter
Whenever he made a fart
twas always a shart
Thats why he gave a discounter.

UCDVet

OnTheCounter wrote: »

I would like to emigrate early next year as I can't get work here. I would probably head to either the USA or Australia.

I have a 2.1 business degree but no revelant work experience.

I am on the scratch and have no savings. I figure I would need E5k to pay for flights and rent/deposit/food/bills/transport in the new country while on the job hunt.

I have considered selling my ass but its only little and at a fiver a pop could suffer permanent damage.

So there must be a lot of people here in the same boat.

Whats the plan?

Online dating is your ticket to a new life.

No seriously. I'm sure Australia is similar - but the US is filled with single men/women. All you need to do is find one who wants to marry you and *bam* you've got yourself citizenship.

If you are Irish (or just not American) you've got a huge leg up. You're interesting and mysterious (and have a sexy accent). Chicks love that crap. You'll just need to spend some time chatting. Easy enough.

Just go to a dating site and start sending messages to older, chubbier, uglier folk. You'll be a hit. In 3-6 months you'll be golden.

OnTheCounter

Interested im meeting women who like dining out, fine wine, long walks, horse riding and have a heart condition it is so.

Firmly stuck in the rut.

the keen edge

Why not try to walk there, just pack your bags and off with ya.
If anyone tries to stop you along the way tell them to piss off.

Maybe avoid any route through the Middle East. Oh yeah parts of the old USSR are pretty fcuked up to so maybe give them a wide berth as well.

But if you stick to the coast line of what ever country you're in you'll be pretty much sound navigation wise and probably wont get lost.

Walk along beaches, you may even get to see a dolphin or one of those massive turtles along your way.

I think coconut trees grow near beaches. If you find a coconut eat it, for food and hydration.
The massive turtles mentioned above are an endangered species so don't try to eat one; but if you have to eat one because you're proper hunger wait until nightfall so you don't get caught.
I once saw a tv programme where the massive turtles laid eggs, you could probably eat those eggs as well. Although I'm not sure what they would taste like.

If you find yourself in some mad country that doesn't have a coastline just walk in a south easterly direction.

Bear Grylls has a few vid's on youtube, watch them before you head off for other tips.

charlemont

senorwipesalot wrote: »

There was a young man named Counter
Who was fond of the odd anal encounter
Whenever he made a fart
twas always a shart
Thats why he gave a discounter.

HaHaHa, That's like something you see written on a cubicle.

eth0

OnTheCounter wrote: »

I would probably head to either the USA or Australia.

Don't rule out the good places (as in places that aren't USA or Australia) too fast.

ehmjay

Canada likely, USA preferably. The US has the 12 month grad visa if you graduated this year, but Canada is booming in construction, so it's the more sensible option for me. I'm thinking around 5k is needed too but my issue is getting a job here so I can save the dough and get out.

nice_very

stay here and try to change things.

notnumber

OnTheCounter wrote: »

I would like to emigrate early next year as I can't get work here. I would probably head to either the USA or Australia.

I have a 2.1 business degree but no revelant work experience.

I am on the scratch and have no savings. I figure I would need E5k to pay for flights and rent/deposit/food/bills/transport in the new country while on the job hunt.

I have considered selling my ass but its only little and at a fiver a pop could suffer permanent damage.

So there must be a lot of people here in the same boat.

Whats the plan?

Put yourself into a crate and get UPS to ship you there.

charlemont

nice_very wrote: »

stay here and try to change things.

I used to think that too but unfortunately I now believe this country will never change so hopefully once I receive my qualifications I'm gone out of here.

Fromthetrees

Plan;
Go to money lender.
With money lenders money go to the credit union to multiply what you have.
Ask all friends and family to "lend" you money.
5,000.
Done.

OnTheCounter

OnTheCounter wrote: »

Interested im meeting women who like dining out, fine wine, long walks, horse riding and have a heart condition it is so.

You forgot "pina coladas and getting caught in the rain":D

mandrake04

Only back from Shanghai, fantastic city for anyone who are highly skilled and experienced there could be many good opportunities there as read in one of the local English papers that China want to import 10,000 western consultants.

OP to emigrate to most places industry experience plays a big part in the process, certainly for places like Australia having less than 3 years experience or being out of work for more than 12 out of the last 24 months can be a show stopper.

The old emigration over the last 2-3 years is more of a cliche ....maybe long holiday is more apt, most are on working holiday visa's for Oz & Canada and only a fraction might get sponsored etc but more and more are going to be returning home soon enough to a long dole queue once they run out of visa's and countries.

OnTheCounter

haven't found any ould fat yokes on the dating sites.

they are all savage looking young wans who happen to all live exactly 4km from where I am right now.

Bumping for anyone who may want to share a bit of advice.

questionmark?

How about go to a country that doesn't involve having to get a Visa.

The whole of the EU is open to you and you wont need a 24 hour flight, visa and a requirement to work on a farm or some other ****e.

Tchaikovsky

There's a new service that you could sign up with called Irish Grooms; very similar to Russian Brides. Just don't include any pics of your arse.

eth0

mandrake04 wrote: »

Only back from Shanghai, fantastic city for anyone who are highly skilled and experienced there could be many good opportunities there as read in one of the local English papers that China want to import 10,000 western consultants.

OP to emigrate to most places industry experience plays a big part in the process, certainly for places like Australia having less than 3 years experience or being out of work for more than 12 out of the last 24 months can be a show stopper.

The old emigration over the last 2-3 years is more of a cliche ....maybe long holiday is more apt, most are on working holiday visa's for Oz & Canada and only a fraction might get sponsored etc but more and more are going to be returning home soon enough to a long dole queue once they run out of visa's and countries.

Feck China, shower of communist savages who'll send all 10,000 western consultants back when they learnt what they need off them.

Boombastic

Go to china
Sell kidneys
Profit

NoQuarter

Go teach "engrish" in South Korea. The schools give you an apartment and pay for your flights and give a pretty decent wage. Then after a year you will have a nice little bit saved and you can hop straight over to Oz.

humbert

the keen edge wrote: »

If you find yourself in some mad country that doesn't have a coastline just walk in a south easterly direction.

If he sticks to the coastline he'll never end up in a country with no coastline. Problem solved. A wise woman once observed that Russia is visible from Alaska so there's your route sorted.

Raiser

nice_very wrote: »

stay here and try to change things.

But we've already all voted Fine Gael/Labour, that was our last hope wasn't it????*

- Turns out they were just as bad as Fianna Fail, possibly even worse as they had every incentive going not to follow further down that road of crap dragging us by the heels behind them :mad:



* Not including Semtex Gerry and rabid Mary Lou obviously

mandrake04

questionmark? wrote: »

How about go to a country that doesn't involve having to get a Visa.

The whole of the EU is open to you and you wont need a 24 hour flight, visa and a requirement to work on a farm or some other ****e.

Yeah I hear Greece, Italy, Spain & Portugal is beautiful this time of the year nice warm climate.

or if you fancy something cooler Poland or Czech Rep.

preddy

Im going to suggest something here abit radical.

Get a job.

That is all.

why not take a two step approach to this go the UK first you will get a job its not as bad there ( my daughter lives there ) save some money and then go with some experience and money or what about the credit Union even if you only save ten a week its something and eventually you will get a loan.