After life/scared of dying

0000879k

Warning, depressing thread.

How do you deal knowing the fact so many people die young? That your life may be cut short at any time? Having not done so many things you wanted, seen so many things you wanted etc

I suppose if you're religious it's okay because you have an afterlife. (not meaning to bash religions or anything here) But I'm not religious, I consider myself agnostic. I don't believe in an afterlife, I wish I could! How are any of us to know what happens when we die? An eternity of nothingness? (as expressed in the invention of lying :L)

Right now I'm loading an episode of scrubs to take my mind off of this. But it constantly bothers and scares me, how do you guys deal with it?

MODS: If this is a silly thread delete as appropriate but this genuinely bothers/affects me

stmol32

Basically if you believe there's nothing after then why are you worrying?
What you should be doing is making the most of the finite time you have.
Some people would say scrubs and boards at this hour of the morning isn't making the most of your time but I say meh...
.. whatever floats your boat.

Casillas

I think you're being in your own genius. Everyone will disagree and say calm down/ whatever. Write, dream, draw - u have a quick mind.

beks101

It terrifies me too to be perfectly honest. Not religious either & find it hard to conceive of a never-ending sea of nothingness.

But that's what it is - nothingness. Lack of existence. Lack of consciousness, of thought, of feeling, of fear and of all the things that define you. Of course it's petrifying to think about because it's the opposite of everything you are and none of us can envision exactly how it works until we're there - and even then we won't be 'there' to experience anything. Case in point - over thinking it is going to cause you a lifetime of head ****

There are no answers. So personally, I've stopped seeking them out and use that very fact to get up off my ass and not take anything or anyone for granted. Treat everyone with kindness. Take risks, do what I love, not get bogged down in the things that don't matter. Love people as much as I can. That's my only way of making any meaning of it.

If you find a better way let me know

blatantrereg

After you die is the same as before you were alive. You just dont exist - but the rest of the world does.
Terror of death is normal and instinctive to some extent. But when it starts to preoccupy you without immediate cause it's excessive.
I think it helps when you see your life in the context of being a tiny part of a huge world. If you perceive your own life as being everything, then the idea of it ending is a lot harder to face.

Beruthiel

0000879k wrote: »

How do you deal knowing the fact so many people die young? That your life may be cut short at any time?

As an atheist, I am well aware of the fact that this is how life is. Evolution is a work in progress, many humans will have defects which will cut their lives short.
Evolution has made it so that we produce enough humans to continue the species. After that, it is just sheer luck to get to any age.
Each day I get to live is a great day for me.

Having not done so many things you wanted, seen so many things you wanted

I'll be dead. I'll no longer care. So, what's there to deal with?
Does not knowing that get you to move your ass a tad and get the things done that you wanted to do?

How are any of us to know what happens when we die? An eternity of nothingness?

Before you were born, how did you cope with that eternity of nothingness?
When you have answered that, you'll know how you will cope once you are dead.

But it constantly bothers and scares me, how do you guys deal with it?

Death is inevitable.
There is absolutely nothing you can do to change that.
Therefore, worrying about something you have zero control over is wasted energy that would be better spent doing something that makes life worth living.

Accept the inevitable and start enjoying today.

username123

I think of it like a deep sleep. I close my eyes, and am unaware of anything til the next morning. Obviously when Im dead there wont be any next morning but Ill be unaware of that.

I dont tend to fear dying young, I fear growing old and frail and being unable to look after myself and there being no one to help me. Or lingering with painful or undignified disease and euthanasia not being legal.

ManOfMystery

How people contend with the thought of dying is usually down to what religion they practice. If you believe you're going to float about in a sea of tranquility surrounded by fluffy clouds, white light and old friends & family, then death isn't quite as scary as some find it. Similarly, if you think our maker is going to welcome you through pearly gates and hand over 30 virgins for your personal use, you may also find that appealing.

And so on and so forth.

If you're not religious and believe that you simply turn back to dust, I can see how life may at times seem pointless. But bear in mind, while you're here you're impacting on the lives of others. Life is not pointless. We should be improving the world and improving life for the generations who will come after us.

The only certainty we have in life is that we're going to die at some point. And regardless of religion, books, philosophy, near-death-experiences or anything else ............ there is not one single person on this Earth who has proof and can say with 100% certainty exactly what will happen to you when you die. So as Beruthiel wisely said, thinking about it too hard is wasted energy. Thinking about it so hard that you're actually not living life to the fullest while you're on this planet? That's not just wasted energy, it's a waste of time. Get out there and do things which make you happy before you're too old to enjoy them. You can't change what happens at the moment you die, but you can change what happens up until then.

borabora

You just can't think about it (excessively). Like, what the hell do we know? We have absolutely no clue what's going on. I'm agnostic, but open to absolutely anything. Thinking about it too deeply will only freak you out and disconnect you from life. The fact is, this is your life and you're dying one minute at a time. Your only life. You weren't here before, and you won't be here after. What happens to the universe after you're here, the notion of infinity etc, is irrelevant for you. You're here now, a miraculous accident.

I'm around death a lot. To be honest I've found it comforting. Most likely, you fade, perhaps have an awareness and acceptance that it's happening, and you just go to sleep. You don't know that it's happened - you know?! Of course the idea of accidents etc is terrifying, but that is your anxiety talking, you can't live your life worrying about that. Life is for living, and enjoying. What makes you happy? Do it. Every day. I know that is easier said than done as we can get psychologically bogged down with whatever issues we have accumulated over the years, but that is what I'm striving for anyway. Personally I want to get into mindfulness, and just work on savouring the moment.

We are so, so lucky to be here, and to have all of the gifts that we have. Thinking about it in this manner is looking a gift horse in the mouth. But I know, having been stuck on this issue for a long time myself, you just have to make a conscious effort not to think about it. Focus on the other areas of your life, that might need improvement for your general happiness...

folamh

Mortality is something we all have to deal with and come to terms with. The prospect of ceasing to live and experience things seems very grim and depressing. But I do think it's possible to make peace with death. Try to rationalise it: You wont gain nor lose anything after death: it involves neither good nor bad things. You can only be negatively affected by bad things, so you wont be negatively affected by death. We waste a lot of time worrying about death when we are actually living; it doesn't accomplish anything and it makes no difference to our predicament.

This is a strange piece of advice, but I recommend watching the film Harold and Maude. It tries to show how when we are young, we have all these notions about the futility of existence. It's not until we meet someone who is actually facing death that we realise the value of living in the present and make peace with that.

Roisy7

You're not alone OP. It terrifies me, the thought of oblivion, and when I was younger I became very depressed about it. There has been a lot of death in my extended family, and by the time I was 13 my mother was the only one left of her family of four.

But the only way to deal with these things is a certain amount of denial. I'm not sure where I read it (I have it feeling it could have been a Terry Pratchett book lol) that people believe things like "it'll work out in the end" because the alternative would drive you insane.

Live your life. Because the only reason we have to live and reach our potential is the knowledge that there is an end, that it is finite.

Like barbora, I find a certain comfort in being around death. I think that this is the one thing that we Irish do very well, death is not such a taboo here, and many of our funeral rituals and commemorations are very lovely and comforting.

A graveyard on a summer's day is one of the most beautiful, calming places you can be. None of the people underground have any more fear or pain. If you look at it this way, then the terror, the tightness in the chest and the swimming in the head can lessen.

Go and live your life OP. As the Rolling Stones said, "let's do some living, then after we'll die". x

Daftendirekt

You're not the first person to go through this, and it's unlikely you'll be the last. It's very human to fear death, but since it's not preventable, it doesn't pay to obsess over it.

0000879k wrote: »

Right now I'm loading an episode of scrubs to take my mind off of this. But it constantly bothers and scares me, how do you guys deal with it?

Essentially, this is how you deal with it.

Distract yourself with things you enjoy. Keep yourself occupied and productive. Focus on living rather than dying and eventually, death will start to feel like a part of life so distant from where you are now that fretting about it just seems wasteful.

If it's something you're really struggling to get through, you could try avoiding the news for a while, too(seriously). Having reports of violent crime or suicide sprung on you can be distressing if you're already feeling spooked by your own mortality. Or if you've got someone close to you to talk to, it mightn't be a bad idea to share what you've said here with them. Might help you get it off your chest.

Best of luck, anyway!

franklyon

ManOfMystery wrote: »

there is not one single person on this Earth who has proof and can say with 100% certainty exactly what will happen to you when you die.

I would think like this too if I had not seen something when I was younger which I can't explain and now pretty is the reason for what I believe now, people say nothing happens after you die, I think that to be completely false, but of course seeing is believing, I am one of the lucky ones. if u had not seen anything I would have been agnostic/an atheist by now.

Podgers

like anything its something that we have to accept, we cant cheat it

here is an interested speech from steve jobs back in 2005, it gets you thinking

<snip>

uck51js9zml2yt

From what people have posted about death it appears that non belief in God isn't working for you.

For those who've said to keep busy with other things, its difficult to do that continually so as to distract the mind from thoughts of the after life.

As a Christian I believe in an afterlife and look forward to the time when I will see the face of the One I came to believe in nearly 30 years ago.
Its not just a case of keeping my mind busy but its a knowledge and experience of another reality, an eternal one.

I don't fear death as I've experienced the life to come..I know a crackpot idea...but its still true. Its something we Christians believe.
For us God is real, heaven and hell are real. Eternity is real

We believe its possible to know God in this life and death is simply the letting go of the body and a moving into the fullness of the life we have tasted with God while in our bodies.
Death is simply being absent from the body and being present with God.

So you see, we don't fear death, we embrace it when the time comes. It just means we go to the place we have anticipated all these years and are with the One we came to know.

Sir Pompous Righteousness

Why think about at time when you can't think? Thinking won't matter then.

Rigol

I look into what others have said about it.

Prof Alan Watts, Lao Tzu, Ajahn Brahm, Dr Deepak Chopra, Prof Pim VanLommell.
These dudes will give you a new perspective by turning the telescope inward...which is where the real deal is.

Brussels Sprout

This path leads only to madness

Valentina

Hi OP,

I lost my mum a few years ago and for a long time I became preoccupied with thoughts on my own mortality and a fear of dying. It became so bad I would actually have panic attacks and wake from sleep with a sudden thought that one day I would simply cease to exist. I found it very difficult to come to terms with at the time.

Only recently, I've realised I have wasted several years thinking and worrying about something I have no control in. When my time comes, it comes and all I can do is fill the intervening moments doing things that matter to me - I have rekindled my involvement in a sport I love, I have fulfilled a childhood dream of mine, I go for lovely long walks and runs with my dogs, I spend quality time with the people who matter most to me, I do what I want to do and no longer care about people judging me or talking about me... I try to live the life that's best for me and makes me happy. I'm now so occupied with wonderful things I don't have time to think or worry about the inevitable. I would say I'm actually the happiest I've been in a long, long time.

So OP, I think you should try find positive things to focus your mind and occupy your time, be they sports or friends or what not and try to enjoy yourself as best you can. Every moment you spend worrying about this is a moment wasted.

Benny_Cake

0000879k wrote: »

Warning, depressing thread.

How do you deal knowing the fact so many people die young? That your life may be cut short at any time? Having not done so many things you wanted, seen so many things you wanted etc

I suppose if you're religious it's okay because you have an afterlife. (not meaning to bash religions or anything here) But I'm not religious, I consider myself agnostic. I don't believe in an afterlife, I wish I could! How are any of us to know what happens when we die? An eternity of nothingness? (as expressed in the invention of lying :L)

Right now I'm loading an episode of scrubs to take my mind off of this. But it constantly bothers and scares me, how do you guys deal with it?

MODS: If this is a silly thread delete as appropriate but this genuinely bothers/affects me

In my opinion, it isn't a silly thread if it's something that's bothering you.

For what it's worth, I'm a Christian (not a very good one mind you). Don't worry, I'm not going to start preaching! I do believe in an afterlife, that there is more to life than this and that there is a purpose to the universe. What I can't say is what that afterlife will be like, vast numbers of theologians have debated that over the years. They've often come to vastly different conclusions. Where my faith comes into it, is that I trust that all will be well in the end, and things will be as they are meant to be.

As an agnostic, that will possibly not cut much ice with you. Think of it this way though, your life has meaning and worth to a great many people. Your life has intersected with the lives of others, and will continue to do so, and the good you do will resonate in the lives of others, long after you are gone. Try to live a good life, find meaning in whichever way you want, and don't fear death. I truly believe you have no reason to.

selenawolf

0000879k wrote: »

Warning, depressing thread.

How do you deal knowing the fact so many people die young? That your life may be cut short at any time? Having not done so many things you wanted, seen so many things you wanted etc

I suppose if you're religious it's okay because you have an afterlife. (not meaning to bash religions or anything here) But I'm not religious, I consider myself agnostic. I don't believe in an afterlife, I wish I could! How are any of us to know what happens when we die? An eternity of nothingness? (as expressed in the invention of lying :L)

Right now I'm loading an episode of scrubs to take my mind off of this. But it constantly bothers and scares me, how do you guys deal with it?

MODS: If this is a silly thread delete as appropriate but this genuinely bothers/affects me

Check out Brian Weiss. He's a stanford educated psychiatrist that turned into past-life regression due to his countless experience with his patients.

Just do good deeds in your life so you can develop spiritually every life time