Can I ask her out on facebook?

lonsdale91

Hi,

I've known this girl for years...she was the year below me at school and we attended the same music class at weekends but I live about 20 mins away from her. I've fancied her for a long time now but have never really done anything about it.

We live in opposite ends of the country now as we're both finished college and working and therefore I rarely see her. Once or twice in the past while we have both been home and I've seen her out in the local and had a chat but again I was just too shy to do anything. I don't know her well enough to have her number but we are friends on facebook. Through facebook I reckon that she's not seeing anyone as her status is single and she doesn't have any pictures with any certain guy.

I don't really know anyone who I could get her number from (without having to reveal why I want it) and even if I did where would I start with texting her out of the blue???
As we are friends on facebook I was wondering if it would be ok to send her a private message wondering if she'd like to meet up some weekend when we're both home or would that just be creepy???? I'm just a bit worried that if I do send her a message like that, that she could show it to her friends and others which might be a bit embarrassing!!! I also know her sister and some of her cousins so wouldn't like her telling them about it (if she rejected me!!!) Any other ideas for a way to approach this???

Zen65

lonsdale91 wrote: »

Once or twice in the past while we have both been home and I've seen her out in the local and had a chat but again I was just too shy to do anything. I don't know her well enough to have her number but we are friends on facebook.

I don't understand how you could aspire to date somebody who you won't see except once in a blue moon. Where would that relationship go?

Forget FB. Ask her out when you next meet her, if you want. Doing it through text or FB is setting yourself up to fail. It may fail anyway, but even if it fails you will have developed the courage to speak to somebody you fancy, and that will be a valuable skill in itself.


Be at peace,

Z

lonsdale91

I am now in a position to come home more regular and could come home every weekend I reckon to see her. She is also is on contract work at the min and is likely to move to Dublin for work (close to where I'm living) so it may be more feasable if things did work out. I guess I can just keep going home and going out at the weekends hoping to bump into her but its just that the chances of us being in the same bar the same weekend aren't great. That's why I wondered if there were other ways of making contact with her that would be pretty acceptable?

angle82

Go for it! there is nothing to lose as i see it ! So what she might tell her friends, she'd tell her friends if you asked her out on a night out anyway! be casual about it,like say something ,give me a text next time your home would like to have a drink with you and catch up.
Add your number and maybe something that you both would remember from school days or your music lessons. be brave and if all fails at least you tried and can move on and gave her a boost of confidence.good luck,let us know the outcome!

giggii

I say go for it!! I asked my bf out over facebook and haven't looked back since!!

Lorna123

All you have to do is send her a private message on facebook saying that you haven't seen her for ages and was wondering if you could meet up the next time you are both at home as you don't socialise with a lot of people when at home as all your friends are gone........something like that. It would then look like you were just looking for someone to socialize with and that would take the harm out of it if she made excuses not to meet you. Then if she did want to meet you you could take it from there.

lonsdale91

Ok, So I made contact with the girl on facebook about 2 days ago but I haven't heard back from her. I just sent her a general message about how she is and how work is going etc...
I saw that she posted that message on facebook about it being a public thing now and no one being allowed to use her post/photos etc,,,, so she was definitely online but maybe someone told her that she had to go on to put up that status and thats all she had time to do???? That's what I'm hoping for anyway!!! I don't think she would see a message and intentionally not reply. I think I will go out this weekend and see if I see her anyway!

Lorna123

So what you have to do now is wait and see. She is not responding immediately so I would take that as a sign that she is not that interested if it were me. I would not write again. She might still reply but just play it cool and don't do anything more unless you get a reply. That's what I would do.