Am I "Just one of the Guys"?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Just looking for some advice here. I’ve recently moved abroad and have met a really nice girl. We are both in our late 20’s. I actually met her through online dating and we spent about 2 months chatting through text before I moved and then met up in person and went for a few drinks and we got on just as well.

At the end of the first date we had a hug and said our goodbyes. Since then we regularly chatted via text. However, I’m finding it hard to work out if she actually likes me or just sees me as a friend.

We ended up going out again yesterday for a few drinks and to watch the football. After the match she asked if I minded if 2 guys she is friends with joined us for a few drinks. I said no problem and the 2 guys joined us and we all got on grand. Anyway towards the end of the night, I had to leave as I had to be up early the next morning. She stayed out with the other 2 guys after. Anyway, as I was leaving she came out with me and we had a hug and I went to kiss her but she had a coldsore and didn’t want me catching it so I didn’t.

Anyway, I was a little drunk when I got home and just sent her a text saying that she knew I really wanted to kiss her and that I really liked her and that if she felt the same that we should meet up again when she is free for food or something (she works as a nurse so works long and uneven shifts). I didn’t get a reply off her yet but I can’t help but feel that I’ve kind of put her on the spot, but I was only being honest and don’t want her to think of me as just another one of the guys.

Ellsbells

When was the first date?

It doesnt sound good to be honest. If I was out with a guy I really liked I wouldnt be inviting other friends to join.

LegacyUser

Hi. Op here.

First date was 2 weeks ago. Yea, I guess you're right. That's why I texted here. I guess I'd just like to know where I stand.

kiffer

... I would assume that someone you met through a dating site would realise that you were interested in more that just friendship.
That said communication is the key, balls in her court now, wait to hear back from her.

bellylint

Not sure exactly what you are looking for advice on but I dont think you have done anything wrong mate. Give her a chance to respond, and respect what she says one way or the other. You have only been upfront.

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Thanks for the replies and advice/opinions. It's very much appreciated :-)

Anyway, she texted me back last night but it was just one of our normal conversations...."How are you, how was your day etc." I asked if she stayed out long after I left and she said she stayed for one more drink and went home. She never mentioned me texting that I liked her. So I don't know what that means??

I guess the best thing is to ask her to go out again next evening she is off work and if she's up for that then I can take it that she likes me too?

kiffer

Irishman in Exile wrote: »

Hi all,

Thanks for the replies and advice/opinions. It's very much appreciated :-)

Anyway, she texted me back last night but it was just one of our normal conversations...."How are you, how was your day etc." I asked if she stayed out long after I left and she said she stayed for one more drink and went home. She never mentioned me texting that I liked her. So I don't know what that means??

I guess the best thing is to ask her to go out again next evening she is off work and if she's up for that then I can take it that she likes me too?

Ask her out on a date not just to meet up... people often practice selective hearing and ignore things they don't know how to respond to or don't want to respond to...

Merkin

Irishman in Exile wrote: »

Hi all,

Thanks for the replies and advice/opinions. It's very much appreciated :-)

Anyway, she texted me back last night but it was just one of our normal conversations...."How are you, how was your day etc." I asked if she stayed out long after I left and she said she stayed for one more drink and went home. She never mentioned me texting that I liked her. So I don't know what that means??

I guess the best thing is to ask her to go out again next evening she is off work and if she's up for that then I can take it that she likes me too?

Yeah but I'd do it quick if I were you. Two whole weeks went by between your first and second date so I'd be contacting her again today to make arrangements for this weekend. I'm amazed she met you the second time after you leaving it two whole weeks. Suggest a meal so it's obvious it's just going to be the two of you.

Katy89

Irishman In Exile wrote: »

Anyway, I was a little drunk when I got home and just sent her a text saying that she knew I really wanted to kiss her and that I really liked her and that if she felt the same that we should meet up again when she is free for food or something (she works as a nurse so works long and uneven shifts). I didn’t get a reply off her yet but I can’t help but feel that I’ve kind of put her on the spot, but I was only being honest and don’t want her to think of me as just another one of the guys.

OP, don't know but some alarm bells are ringing for me.

you actually told her that you like her, which obviously would mean more than just like her as a friend, you even tried to kiss her.

she now replied much later with a text which is ignoring the content of your last text.
I wouldn't like that and would step back.

she might be just up for an ego boost and going to play with you.
just my 2 cents and advice to be careful.

good luck:)

Chicago Chick

I agree with Kiffer, I would ask her out as at least that way you will know one way or the other. She may have thought after a couple of drinks you were saying things you now regret or she may just not know how to let you down if she is not interested. Either way it is better to find out for your own sake. Fingers crossed I hope it goes well for you.

LegacyUser

Merkin wrote: »

Yeah but I'd do it quick if I were you. Two whole weeks went by between your first and second date so I'd be contacting her again today to make arrangements for this weekend. I'm amazed she met you the second time after you leaving it two whole weeks. Suggest a meal so it's obvious it's just going to be the two of you.

I know it was 2 weeks but that was because she works long shifts and that week was on a week with one day off and the second date was the next day she was off. I have sent her a text saying I get my first pay from my new job Friday and would like to take her out to dinner to celebrate with me. She's at work at the minute but hopefully I've been clear enough now about my intentions and will know one way or another tonight. This dating game is rough :-(

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I just want to thank you all again for all the advice and opinion. It really does mean a lot, particularly given that I've just moved to a foreign country where I don't really have anything to talk to about these things.

Anyway, as I said, I texted her yesterday, saying I would like to take her out to dinner (a clear cut date) and I drew a blank. I mean I didn't get any reply at all. A yes would have been great, a no would have been disappointing but nothing is the worst. I feel really dejected. I've known this girl for the best part of 3 months, we chatted on a near regular basis and met up twice and got on really well. I would have thought she would have at least had the heart to let me down gently, or toughly or anyway at all.

I feel really down about it all as I acted like a nice guy throughout :-( Maybe it was telling her that I liked her that did it. She went cold after that. Perhaps you should never tell a girl you like her until you are actually going out?

Ellsbells

No don't play games. You have don't nothing wrong. She is being rude by not answering you.

handlemaster

Shes not interested move on. Would have been nice if she had some cop on to tell you straight. She justed liked the attention. You sound like a nice guy. So I won't worry about lots more on the web site