Removing Gaurdianship rights...

choakem

Please don't flame me for this but.......

Very rocky history with my ex... I have a lovely 10 year old daughter whom we have a fantastic relationship. I was recently granted Guardianship and access rights legally to see my kids but this is where it gets complicated......
I still care for my ex very very much (truth be told I'm still in love with her) but winning these rights through court has created a wedge between us that time simply will not heal.... I don't want her out of my life and i would like to know if it's possible to remove my recently won guardianship but keep my access rights as this could possibly go a long way to healing our relationship(or at least remove the hatred).
She is an excellent mother and I have no fear of her leaving the country, I have no issues with their schooling or health.
Bottom line is I'd prefer some kind of relationship with her without Gaurdianship rights(mainly empty) than the converse.

Thanks

Offy

choakem wrote: »

Please don't flame me for this but.......

Very rocky history with my ex... I have a lovely 10 year old daughter whom we have a fantastic relationship. I was recently granted Guardianship and access rights legally to see my kids but this is where it gets complicated......
I still care for my ex very very much (truth be told I'm still in love with her) but winning these rights through court has created a wedge between us that time simply will not heal.... I don't want her out of my life and i would like to know if it's possible to remove my recently won guardianship but keep my access rights as this could possibly go a long way to healing our relationship(or at least remove the hatred).
She is an excellent mother and I have no fear of her leaving the country, I have no issues with their schooling or health.
Bottom line is I'd prefer some kind of relationship with her without Gaurdianship rights(mainly empty) than the converse.

Thanks

Why would removing guardianship heal the cracks? If removing your rights to your child got rid of bad feelings your ex has then you are better off having her as an ex imo.
What kind of father in his right mind would do such a thing? What do you think that child will think in years to come if you were to have guardianship removed? Perhaps you should think about your child and not yourself and your "EX"! Just my two cents.

choakem

Hi Offy,

We all know that Guardianship is in many ways an empty title. I just want to see my kids in a relaxed atmosphere and have any kind of relationship with my ex besides this emnity. I don't mind giving her sole Gaurdianship if it makes her feel more in control...

Can I remove it? If I did would I be able to get in in the future? lol

I don't know what I'm doing... I just want things to be different I suppose.

Humans eh!

Hey man, sorry for your predicament but a few points to think about.
firstly guardianship is a big deal and as many unmarried fathers (like myself) could tell you it is not easily won and should be treasured. Second every event that happens and day that passes changes people. You are not the same person you were this time last year, whether you recognise it or not your attitudes and personality are constantly changing and evolving as we deal with our unfolding lives.

Your ex (and you) are different people now compared to what you were, breaking up would have fundamentally changed you both, in how you view the other and how you relate to your seperate lives. You may still have feelings for her but they are subtly different and there is no going back to the past.

Our relationships are like sandcastles, built of a shifting and fragile material and no matter how complex, stable or beautiful a sandcastle two people build it is fragile and when knocked can be rebuilt but it will never be the same.

My ex of 14 years and I split last year and despite still having some feelings for her I realise that there is never any way of going back and we have both changed as people since we split.

Saying that I have been going through the courts for over a year to gain access/guardian rights to my two children, despite not having done anything wrong (she did the cheatin') and losing my home and rights to my kids and it has drained me emotionally and opened my eyes to just how little influence or rights an unmarried father has in this country.
If you have guardianship rights to your children cherish it and hold on to it with all your might. Its a precious right that many would kill for.

My advice, move on from your relationship and put the energy into your children she may not be yours but they always will.
As for removing guardianship rights - No, No, No, No, No, No, No.
You would regret it dearly.
Take care.

choakem

Humans eh!,
Thanks mate, the more I think about it the more I'm beginning to realize that this question is based far more on emotions than intellect. I know I only got what every good father should have and in an ideal world my ex should be glad to have someone to help make these decisions and to share the responsibility of raising kids.
Only got to court yesterday and so all this is still fresh in memory. Thanks for all the advice, I'll have to try and get beyond my feelings for her and just be a good dad. What will be will be....

choakem

New Question.....

My ex partner currently has passports of my kids I now have legal Guardianship over (Can she still take the kids out of the country without my permission)?
Can i get these passports revoked?
Please advise.

miju

choakem wrote: »

Can i get these passports revoked?

not without applying to the courts and having a very good reason and even then wouldnt hold my breath.

you can however, go into the passport office (with copy of your passport / guardianship order) and have a "stop" put on the passports. which basically means when it comes to them being renewed she has to get you to sign them

choakem

Thanks for the quick reply - I was under the impression that as a Guardianship then the only real power that the court will enforce is the issuing of passports - does this mean that I have no power whatsoever of her leaving the country until they expire?
I am essentially powerless if she decides to leave...

Makes me wonder what the point of guardianship is...

James Jones

miju wrote: »

you can however, go into the passport office (with copy of your passport / guardianship order) and have a "stop" put on the passports. which basically means when it comes to them being renewed she has to get you to sign them

This is not true. As a Legal Guardian, your consent is required without you needing to put a "stop" on the passports. Your ex will have to get you to sign the consent form or else complete an affidavit stating that she is the sole guardian.
In relation to her leaving the country, that is a criminal offence according to Section 16.-(1) (b) of the Non Fatal Offences Against the Person Act 1997. If you have any genuine concerns, you can apply to the Courts to hold the passports. See HERE.

If a parent of a child to whom a passport has been issued has concerns that their separated spouse may seek to take the child out of the country against their wishes, it is open to them to apply to the courts for an order requiring that the child’s passport be held by the court and not released to the other parent without the first parent’s agreement.

miju

Reread my post before saying somethings not true cheers

James Jones

miju wrote: »

Reread my post before saying somethings not true cheers

Sorry miju. I read it again and I'm afraid you are advising an unnecessary court application. So what you said isn't true.

James Jones

miju wrote: »

Funny cos I've done it

Maybe you did but if you were a Legal Guardian, there was no need. Did you have a solicitor?

planetX

Some countries require a letter of consent from the other guardian when travelling with children. Your signature will be required when renewing the kids passports next time. I don't understand why you would want to revoke existing passports, given your first post stating that you have no fear of your ex leaving the country

The Corinthian

choakem wrote: »

I still care for my ex very very much (truth be told I'm still in love with her) but winning these rights through court has created a wedge between us that time simply will not heal.... I don't want her out of my life and i would like to know if it's possible to remove my recently won guardianship but keep my access rights as this could possibly go a long way to healing our relationship(or at least remove the hatred).

Why does the mother object to you having guardianship to your own daughter, given you have an excellent relationship with her? I presume you discussed this with her before securing it in court, so she much have given you some reason?

Otherwise it's really just a control thing and honestly if she's bitter about it, the last thing you should do is capitulate, because with people like that any capitulation is often just the start of a long pattern of bullying and exploitation.

Also you're still in love with the mother? Did you leave her? If so, is this simply not guilt? How healthy is it that you're actually encouraging these feelings for her in the first place?

She is an excellent mother and I have no fear of her leaving the country, I have no issues with their schooling or health.

Until one day, out of the blue, she lets you know that her new husband wants to adopt your daughter. Or she tells you she (or her new partner) has been offered a job abroad.

Guardianship rights don't give you a lot, but they're better than nothing, and in the long run are a lot more important than whatever volatile relationship that you have with the mother. Don't do it.