should I have called social services?

LegacyUser

Hi all...I am a little worried an hope you guys here can help me with some info.

A new family moved into our neighbourhood. They have school-going age children (primary). For the last 3 weeks (that I know of) none of the children have gone to school. I know school places can be hard to come by but the area we live in has 5 primary schools within 20 -25 minutes walking distance from our home. I know the children have not been to school as I am at home at the moment and have seen them playing from the window.

The children are also often in pyjamas all day and they have a grubby scruffy look about them. The older child has also been witnessed by myself, my partner and another neighbour punching and hitting the younger siblings in a very vicious manner. Yesterday this child came out looking very bruised and battered. Our child was outside and came in to tell me that the child said he had fallen off a wall. Fair enough, but I have also seen an older male from this family pinch this child viciously in a manner that caused him to scream. A neighbour saw this older man slap the child on the back of his head.

Well, today one of the younger siblings had to use the bathroom to move her bowels and did it in the street right where I could see. This child is about 4/5. I have not seen anyone supervise the children, only call them in to the house. The younger children also follow any child that is out with a lolly or whatever in a manner that I can only describe as hungry. I was eating some grapes with my daughter outside 2 weeks ago and the younger children came over. Some grapes had fallen on the ground and they began to eat them off the floor. I gave them the rest I had, but it stuck with me as something that I would only associate with a hungry child.

I have tried not to be nosy but this stuff is happening right outside our window. I can hear the screams and things very clearly, especially during school hours when they are the only children about. My partner is a little upset with me at the moment as I rang social services. My gut instinct tells me that the children are being neglected. At the very least even one of them should be in school. The family seems very strange but we do believe there is some violence going on. I gave my first name only to the social services but now am worried this family will know it was me and get very mean.

Well, I guess I am asking if I did the right thing or should I have waited? The family has only been here about 6 weeks or so and maybe I feel like I have been too judgemental too quick. Also, if Social services act on it, what will happen?

Orion

You did the right thing. If you even suspect child abuse and/or neglect you are obliged to call them or the police. And you appear to have actually witnessed it with that vicious pinch. Even seeing the child bruised is enough to have immediate concern in this situation. Added to things like public defecation and screams you absolutely took the right course of action by calling in professionals.

You may never hear from social services again once they take your statement. They will assess the situation and, if necessary, take the children into care. The number 1 priority is the safety of the children - by calling them in you have helped to make these children safe so do not feel guilty at all. You could not, in good conscience, have done anything else. Well done.

ResearchWill

OP if your wrong then it will sort it self out. If on the other hand your right you may save these kids from years of torment. If more spoke out in the 40's to 90's we would have a lot less damaged people in this country. As child care goes better safe than sorry.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the response. I thought about it last night and decided that I couldn't really face my conscience if I did nothing. Hopefully, the parents just need some parenting lessons, but if there is abuse, at least someone said something.

Miaireland

You did the right thing. The kids need someone to help them by the sounds of what you have witnessed and you have ensured this happened. Hopefully the family will get the help they need.

xzanti

All of the elements which you have outlined point in one direction, neglect.

You absolutely did the right thing.. Good on you.

noddyone2

100% right. Fair play to you.

Daffodil.d

The problem with us Irish is that we mind our own business too much. I think you totally did the right thing. You witnessed not one ,but several things that point to neglect. Imagine if you hadn't rang and something serious happened and it made the news. Too many of these situations are slipping through the proverbial net. You did a good thing it could end up helping those kids.
Ps. my husband would have been the same as yours.

Knit wit

Well done op ... U did the right thing ... I wish there were more people like u ... It takes courage to speak up for children.

Shivers26

You absolutely did the right thing. Plenty would have done nothing.

The situation will be investigated and they will get help or whatever is needed.

wmpdd3

Fair play to you op, you made the right decision.

RubyGirl

WORRIED PERSON wrote: »

Thanks for the response. I thought about it last night and decided that I couldn't really face my conscience if I did nothing. Hopefully, the parents just need some parenting lessons, but if there is abuse, at least someone said something.

Are things still the same?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Well, I am now in work all day so I can't say what has happened. My partner who is around afternoons says he hasn't seen the children at all all week so I am assuming they had a visit from social services and decided to keep indoors. I still feel I did the right thing and hope that eventually the children come out to play as I do think that socialising is really good for their development and to stop the family feeling victimised or persecuted.

Miss Congeniality

OP I salute you!! Well done.... i think u did the right thing. We need to start listening to our gut and your gut instinct told you something is not right!
It is better to ring social welfare and have this investigated, then to do nothing and maybe in a few years you'll read about the abuse/neglect these kids may be suffering. If there's nothing there, at least you'll have piece of mind! And thats why Social welfare are there - to investigate and if necessary interject and help those at risk!!

I think we need to go back to looking out for the more vulnerable and stop this attitude of turning away and "minding our own business"!! I think that sometimes our gut tells us something is wrong but we don't want to accept it as we don't want to upset other people or get involved "just in case"!! This is how neglect and abuse escalates......
So OP Yes - you absolutely did the right thing:) And I commend you for it:)

ladypip

Hi Op

I also think you totally did the right thing. Nobody should turn their backs on children in need and if their is problems the family will get support and the children will be monitored. Well done for having courage.

jackie1974

You totally did the right thing, I hope if i'm ever in your situation that I have the guts to do the same thing because it does take courage. We all know families that are a bit rough and ready but what you have described goes beyond that. Every child has the right to be clean, fed and educated and pinching or hitting a child on the head is abusive. If they are doing that in public what are they doing behind closed doors.

Social services don't come along and whip the kids out of their home, they work with the family to better their situation, they only remove kids if the parent refuse to make changes and rightly so. Well done