Sex in medium distance relationship.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I need some advice on my relationship. I've been seeing a woman for the past 2 and a half months. She lives around 90 minutes drive from me and we both have a car. Both of us are living at home with parents at the moment which poses a bit of a problem for us. We see eachother twice a week, once usually just to meet and we typically do something together on the other night like go out, cinema, food, romantic walk etc.

Last weekend we slept with eachother for the first time and I thought it was great! We had been very active up to this point in other ways, always very passionate and talking about what we want to do to eachother.

Now that we have had sex I can't help wanting more. Another opportunity popped up this week and I had an empty house all week. She's known about this for a few weeks and I was hoping she might want to come down for a few hours. She seemed to be okay with this up until last weekend but afer this weekend she's said she can't because of work. I was trying to meet up with her as usual this week but she came down sick Wednesday. We're supposed to meet up Saturday though but there would be nowhere we could go to be completely alone.

We have a couple of events coming up to which I've suggested we should stay the night in a hotel of B&B or something, she agree'd to one of these but it's 2 months away sadly.

I'm a bit worried about all this because I want us to have as normal a sex life as possible in terms of regularity. I haven't had many relationships so I don't know for sure what is normal in that regard. I don't just want this for myself but I'd be afraid she would really want this too and the lack of sex would be a dealbreaker for her. I really don't want to seem pushy about it either as I am mad about her and would be afraid to lose her.

I was wondering if there is anyone else out there in a similar relationship, what do you do to get time to be intimate? Do you go to hotels and B&B's regularly? How did you suggest this to your other half? I know we could use the car but it's so uncomfortable.

Princess Peach

I was fine when I lived at home because my parents didn't mind me having boyfriends stay over, plus they went away a lot, but sometimes we did stay in hotels so we could get a bit more privacy. Either of us would suggest it and the other never minded. Often wasn't for an occasion, just for a bit of a break, and birthdays/anniversaries too.

Just suggest it to her so you can have a bit more privacy and luxury of course!

LegacyUser

Princess Peach wrote: »

I was fine when I lived at home because my parents didn't mind me having boyfriends stay over, plus they went away a lot, but sometimes we did stay in hotels so we could get a bit more privacy. Either of us would suggest it and the other never minded. Often wasn't for an occasion, just for a bit of a break, and birthdays/anniversaries too.

Just suggest it to her so you can have a bit more privacy and luxury of course!

She's very against me staying over at hers, she hasn't said this exactly but I can tell she's very uncomfortable with the idea of me meeting her parents, I've met most of her brothers and sisters though. She has a very large family, and a child of her own which I haven't met yet either, nor would I expect to until she's absolutely sure about me. So her place is out.

I would be fine about her staying down with me but again I can tell she doesn't like the idea if my parents are in the house. I think the fact she has a child to look after makes it hard to be away from home for very long too which makes things doubly difficult.

It's tricky because the last thing I want to appear is pushy or needy. I'm not usually this insecure about things like this.

If we do meet on Saturday I'll try and bring it up in as easygoing a way as I can and try get a two way conversation going where we can suggest ideas. I don't want her to think that sex is the only thing on my mind but there's only so much a couple can do in the back of a car and you miss out on all the other intimate things that couples get to do.

LegacyUser

Wow I'm in the exact same situation except I'm the girl. My boyfriend is away in college and I have a child and live with my family. I find the situation extremely tough, so much so that I'm considering ending my relationship.
If anyone comes up with a solution I'll be glad to hear it. Just know that you are not alone.

LegacyUser

Sooo we had a talk and I've convinced her to stay the odd night in my place, parents be damned! We'll book the odd hotel etc. together every now and again. We're both on the same page in terms of 2 months being way too long and she seems enthusiastic too so I think things are okay. It's not just the sex in the end but you miss out on all the snuggling, cuddling etc. that goes with it when the only place we have is the car.

To samesituation, it's good to know I'm not alone here! To be honest if I hadn't come on here I probably would have kept quiet and waited for it to come to a head, which probably would've resulted in a break up. Certainly talk about it together, I hope ye can work through it and come up with a solution.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, as you seem to have resolved your issue, I'll lock this thread now. It can be opened again if you need it. Just contact any of the Personal Issues' Mods.

Take care,
Big Bag of Chips