Pregnant and Considering Adoption

baby1213

Hey all,

Im 20 weeks pregnant and had my first scan yesterday! The pregnancy was unplanned. Myself and the father are not together anymore. I am 20 years old and I work as a chef 12hrs a day, 5 days a week. I found out in July I was pregnant and have been considering putting the baby up for adoption since I found out as I dont think I'm ready to raise a child. I think it will be better for the baby to have two parents and to be raisied by a couple whom are all prepared for a child.

Im in consuelling with a social worker, she is taking me through all the options and the effects on both myself and the child in the future.

Im just wondering has anyone on here had a child adopted and how it has effected them.

Hope to hear back from someone

bigalee

Hi,
well im not going to give you any advise as i think this is something you alone can decide, also i've never had any experience of adoption so its something ive never gone through. Im sure you'l make the right decision for you and your baby. just wanted to say i think your very brave and best of luck with whatever you decide. I have kids and they are alot of hard work and i think the most thing they need is love, material things dont matter so much as you would think. if you have family perhaps speak with them and depending on situation father of baby, you may find solutions there that you hadnt considered but i dont know your situation.
good luck, and hope everything works out for the best for all concerned.
Bigalee.

Elizvonne

Hey Baby1213

Such a tough time for you.

Adoption effects everyone differently. I suggest you contact Barnardos as they have a very good adoption service and support Birth mothers, adoptees and adoptive families.
A: Barnardos, Hyde Square, 654 South Circular Road, Dublin 8
T: 01 453 0355
E: adoption@barnardos.ie

Helpline
T: 01 454 6388
(Open 10am - 1pm, every Tuesday & Thursday)

I gave a baby up for adoption when I was 20, so I have a good idea of what you are going through. I suggest that you get as much support around you as possible and talk to your family if you can. I'm happy to hear that you are having counselling, I think it is very important for you when making your decision that you gather as much information as possible. Best of luck

Fizzlesque

baby1213 wrote: »

Im just wondering has anyone on here had a child adopted and how it has effected them.

Hope to hear back from someone

Hello, baby1213. I gave my daughter up for adoption, 24 years ago now, but, similar to bigalee, I feel this has to be your decision, so I'd be hesitant to give advice.

The only reason I agreed to my daughter being adopted was because I discovered (when I went to the adoption agency for a chat) that semi-open adoption was an option. That swung my mind from "no bloody way" to "I'll allow myself consider it". Without that I wouldn't have been able to give the go ahead. It has turned out to be tremendously important and I've never missed a beat in being a presence in my daughter's life for the last 24 years. For birthdays, whenever I travelled to another country, when she started/finished school, exams, etc I was able to send a gift and a letter and/or card. I would highly recommend considering maintaining contact (letter box contact) if you do make the decision to go ahead.

I could rant a mile a minute right now; as anyone who knows my posts knows, I can rant a mile a minute on this subject sometimes , but I wouldn't know how to stop and this is not the right time to ramble.

Be prepared to fall in love though, no matter which road you decide to travel down. I wasn't expecting that to happen - but it did, and I'm very pleased with that. I've cried rivers, since I said goodbye to my baby. And I've felt tremendous pride when she sends me a short letter and a photo of herself (as she has done a handful of times) and I see what a beautiful, contented and kind young woman she hs turned out to be. And no end of delight when her mother used send me photos all during her growing up years. I have a box full - they're beautiful.

See, I've started to ramble. I shall reign myself in and wish you all the best. I hope you have someone (or someones) you can talk to. Good luck, take care.

Moonbeam

HI baby123,
How are you doing?
Were you able to find relevant information to help you in your decision?

baby1213

hey thanks for all your replies
I am still considering adoption as an option. I think I will just have to wait to the child is born before I can make a definite decision.

rinsjwind

Hi Baby1213
I don't think you can sign the consent forms until after baby is born anyway, so maybe just concentrate on looking after yourself (and baby) til then. You'll have plenty of time to consider all your options after the baby arrives and nobody will put any pressure on you to decide anything before you're ready.

Take care of yourself.

Rins