Do you see anything wrong with this?

Alannah Gallagher

I have a disability in that I've very little movement in my fingers. I can still do a lot such use the phone, text, type (albeit slowly), shower, dress (but only because I wear clothes without buttons) and so on because my wrists, elbows and shoulders work fine. I just can't do fiddly things like holding a pen.

My Dad helps me with things like tying up my hair and putting on my lipstick. He's also helping me clean my ears (I just got them pierced last week).

My Ma (they're divorced and I live with my Dad) says it is totally inappropriate for him to be helping me with the "girly stuff" at my age (13). He's perfectly happy to help me with anything I genuinely need help with. I'm perfectly happy to let him and very grateful for everything he does. Neither he or me can see anything wrong with it, but my Ma doesn't like it.

OldNotWIse

Alannah Gallagher wrote: »

I have a disability in that I've very little movement in my fingers. I can still do a lot such use the phone, text, type (albeit slowly), shower, dress (but only because I wear clothes without buttons) and so on because my wrists, elbows and shoulders work fine. I just can't do fiddly things like holding a pen.

My Dad helps me with things like tying up my hair and putting on my lipstick. He's also helping me clean my ears (I just got them pierced last week).

My Ma (they're divorced and I live with my Dad) says it is totally inappropriate for him to be helping me with the "girly stuff" at my age (13). He's perfectly happy to help me with anything I genuinely need help with. I'm perfectly happy to let him and very grateful for everything he does. Neither he or me can see anything wrong with it, but my Ma doesn't like it.

I dont think there is anything wrong with it once you are comfortable. You set the rules for what is or isn't right for you.

ps I remember getting the ears pierced for the first time, and the weeks of cleaning, twisting the earrings, surgical spirits etc :eek: Worth it in the end though!

liliq

In short, no, I don't see anything wrong with it.
If you were a boy with long hair I'm sure he'd still be helping you to tie it back.
Maybe your mum feels like she is missing out on doing those things with you, and finding it hard to say it outright?

up for anything

You should be wearing lip gloss and not lipstick at your age.

Nothing wrong with him helping you once you are comfortable with it as OldNotWise said.

Piliger

Alannah Gallagher wrote: »

My Dad helps me with things like tying up my hair and putting on my lipstick. He's also helping me clean my ears (I just got them pierced last week).

No. There is absolutely nothing whatsoever wrong of any kind.

Your mother seems to be taking the divorce badly and instead of dealing with it between her and your Dad, she is dragging you in to it in a wholly inappropriate way.

You should sit your Mum down and tell her to deal with your Dad and not involve you.

Best of luck. It's not an easy situation.

haulagebasher

As another poster said, 13 is too young to be wearing lipstick and such.

Frankly a man buttoning a 13 yera olds blouse and doing her hair has creepy written all over it. I think it's wierd.

January

haulagebasher wrote: »

As another poster said, 13 is too young to be wearing lipstick and such.

Frankly a man buttoning a 13 yera olds blouse and doing her hair has creepy written all over it. I think it's wierd.

Your signature is really fitting, do you know that?

Please stop spouting ****e, or stop posting in the Parenting forum. If you post remarks like that here one more time you will be banned. It's unhelpful and you're just trying to rile people up.

Daisy M

I have a 12 year old daughter and my husband would do this sort of thing for her as often as I do. No offence to your mum but she sounds jealous of your relationship with your dad and is doing her best to undermine it.

si_guru

Sounds like you have a great dad - don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

Queen-Mise

Alannah Gallagher wrote: »

I have a disability in that I've very little movement in my fingers. I can still do a lot such use the phone, text, type (albeit slowly), shower, dress (but only because I wear clothes without buttons) and so on because my wrists, elbows and shoulders work fine. I just can't do fiddly things like holding a pen.

My Dad helps me with things like tying up my hair and putting on my lipstick. He's also helping me clean my ears (I just got them pierced last week).

My Ma (they're divorced and I live with my Dad) says it is totally inappropriate for him to be helping me with the "girly stuff" at my age (13). He's perfectly happy to help me with anything I genuinely need help with. I'm perfectly happy to let him and very grateful for everything he does. Neither he or me can see anything wrong with it, but my Ma doesn't like it.

Your dad is a star and to do it without batting an eyelid. I am sure privately he was probably quaking, but showed you that this isn't an issue.

You dad is doing everything he can that you are as much as possible a typical teenager as possible & for that he deserves praise. I would be inclined to say it that it may be jealously on your mother's part or not even that far maybe something like prudishness... Girls do X & Boys do X...

I am not going to debate the lipstick/lipgloss issue :D:D:D

Veryhappy h

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mitosis

I think what your dad does is spot on.

As an aside, OP, I take it you are using your real name, and you have a small town as your location. If so you have no anonymity here and should change either or both.

Veryhappy h

How do I do that?

Orion

Veryhappy h wrote: »

How do I do that?

The answer to that is in the charter of the forum. It's obvious you need to read the whole thing so I won't link to the exact section.

Veryhappy h

It is obvious to me that when an opinion is asked for and given that censorship is too eager to add their view of value. The thread read. "do you see anything wrong with this?" My opinion was given.