Vent/rant am i justified?

taylor999

hi all,
im a few days away from having my baby and as u may guess im feeling tired,anxious,excited etc all those feelings.
My problem at the moment is my partner who i cant blame for everything but a few issues have arised and feel like im in limbo and cant win.we r together 4 yrs,never moved in together even tho we see each other all the time as we both have our own places.the plan was to move in with him and the build went slower than expected ,a grief in partners family which has been very hard for him to deal with. ive been as supportive as i can while trying to keep optimistic about pregnancy which we both wanted ,the death happened right after i found i was pregnant.
i just feel like since then my pregnancy has been a bit of bitter sweet journey for him.i know he has to deal with his grief but i feel like im not being supported emotionally a lot of the time ,i dont ask for anything else only an effort but anytime i try to talk about it ,i get put in the bad books, ignored,like its all my fault or something. ive had to re decorate my place and get things ready in the meantime which was not my plan but since baby isnt going to wait i now have a lovely setup for baby first few months til things r ready .my partner thinks im being selfish ,decorating,buying things for baby, ive been pretty sensible with money which he cant see mostly everything is borrowed and ive borrowed stuff extra so we we can have similar things in his place.not once has he helped me and anytime i ask it seems to be a bother to him.he has an excuse for everything, the fact that my parents and he dont see eye to eye makes things worse,but thats all in the past and he is the only one now making it an issue.i feel like he thinks im choosing my parents and baby over him .id love to move in with him but the place is just not suitable right now for a newborn,and if i criticise anything im lookin at the silent treatment.
ive spoken to him so many times to just focus on good things and this is meant to be a happy time but .am i too optimistic or is he too negative.
im at this point where i dont know what to say or do, i wanted him to stay with me for the last few days in case i go into labour as my place is nearer hosp but he doesnt want to be here.im at a stage now where im thinking if he doesnt cop on ill avoid letting him know im in labour and get a taxi and go it alone but i know that would be mean but its what he makes me feel right now for being such a stubborn blah!!
overall he has been good but its now i need him most and we usually have a great relationship ,i just feel like this reality is gettin to him and maybe the pressure but im just tired of having to do the running and rqacing when all i want is to just rest and be happy for a few days without this stress.
sorry for the vent just in limbo .thanks.

dublinlady

Could it be that he is just oblivious to how your feeling? You def need support at this vulnerable time! Sometimes men need to be told as I know my other half us useless at picking up signals!! Maybe let him read your post as you've articulated so well how your feeling! It's very different for men - it's sonetimes like they don't fully get it until they see the baby after its born!!
Hope all works out well - id say talking is the best option here!

2xj3hplqgsbkym

You poor thing, you should not have to deal with such stress at this time. You do not sound like you are being unreasonable at all, and you have obviously put so much work into preparing for this baby by yourself. He or she will be vety lucky to have you as a mother (hopefully very soon!)

However I can't imagine how your partner feels having had a death in the family and a huge life-changing event happening at the same time, he must be feeling quite confused and maybe feels guilty about being happy.

Hopefuly when the baby arrives things will improve. I really think that you would regret not informing him about you going in to labour and you will want and need him there for support.

Best of luck with everything.