How to deal with clingy mate

otnomart

not sure how to deal with this
I have just started a new job and cut down a lot on nights out as feeling really tired, on top of other things going on.
My mates have noticed that I am not available as I used to, but are quite understanding, that "I will be back" once I get a bit settled in the role. All apart from one.
She sent me a shocking email that goes like this: "could you please tell me what's happening??? If there is anything I said or done that crossed you one way or another, I just want you to know that I'm sincerely sorry for this as this has never been my intention and I'm certainly not aware of it. I hope that everything is ok on your side and it's just a matter of I don't know what...and we surely can talk it through and find a way to patch it up?"
Now, I replied explaining that I am very busy with work (I can hardly find the time to buy food and to wash my clothes, ffs...)
And she replied saying that other mates have heard from me, instead.
How can someone be so clingy?
I met this person only 2 months ago, and she is 40, how can she behave like a 12 year old?
Shall I be more present just to humor her? I don't want to, to be honest

WhyGoBald

No, you don't have to do such a thing. You can write to her again, if you like, explaining that you genuinely don't have the time and leave it at that. Hopefully she might quieten down. It's possible she's just feeling anxious and clingy at the moment for reasons unconnected with you - something similar happened to me quite recently where I just took all my issues and all the things that were happening in my life out on friends. (Hormones also played a major role.)

HeyThereDeliah

If you don't want to be friendly then Just be polite and reply occasionally and she will probably stop contacting you.
She might be lonely and using your friendship to make herself better. I can see how it comes across as clingy but she is not aware of it.
You are busy and she has time on her hands and this is why she is contacting you.

ibarelycare

She sounds incredibly insecure, and I do feel sorry for her, although I know it's frustrating for you.

If you do want to remain friends with her, is it possible you could clear an hour out of your day to meet her for coffee? Just reassure her that you are just busy and it's nothing to do with her.

However since you only know her two months, you might not be bothered having to go to so much effort. If she's this insecure after knowing you two months then your friendship possibly has lots of drama ahead!

fishy fishy

you obviously didn't explain the situation properly to her. Call her, tell her the situation clearly and she will understand.

I wouldn't call her clingy - more a case of "concerned"

Merkin

If you want to remain friends with her then pick up the phone to her instead and explain how genuinely busy you are and that there is really no issue or problem. She may just be feeling incredibly paranoid and need reassurance.

Herrick

OP, did you actually talk to this mate beforehand about you working a lot, compared to your other mates?

This reads more like a situation where you may have told the others your story but not her and when she hasn't heard from you she thinks your not talking to her to be fair.

If you want to be friends with her I'd say just call her have a chat and let her know.

It's just to me that email doesn't read that badly, more like a person that's really worried they've done something wrong.