Inappropriate Italian Couple

Frank Boggins

I work in an office on the southside of Dublin and my breaks seem to coincide with a guy and girl from the Italian team. My issue is that they are in a relationship and do be all over each other in the canteen. From sitting on each others laps all touchy feely and constantly wearing the face off each other in front of the whole room. I am by no means a prude but find this quiet rude and it makes people a bit uncomfortable when this is going on while trying to eat a sandwich! They also at least once a week have a full blown domestic in Italian in front of the room. I really want to send a mail to their boss saying tell them to cut it out but is that a bit much?

ibarelycare

I imagine it's annoying to have people all over each other in front of you constantly but sending an email to their boss is too much IMO.

Why can't you just ignore them? How small is your canteen? Can you not sit at a seat facing away from them? If not, can you not go sit outside or elsewhere on your breaks if it bothers you that much?

Frank Boggins

I guess I can to both of above but I just would of thought in a professional enviroment that this sort of thing would not be on. Its every days and to have them nearly gettin it on does my head in.

It's certainly rude, and inappropriate at work, but I don't think it's worth filing an actual complaint to their boss. Live and let live. There's not much you can reasonably do except ignore it.

Frank Boggins

I could take up my own form of rudeness and everytime they enter the room claim to have tourettes and start shouting at them!!!

ibarelycare

Frank Boggins wrote: »

I guess I can to both of above but I just would of thought in a professional enviroment that this sort of thing would not be on. Its every days and to have them nearly gettin it on does my head in.

Well it's not your place to pull them up on it. Just mind your own business and find something to keep you occupied during your break.

Frank Boggins

hmmmmm I might take up violin and practise in the canteen so .

Taltos

I know where I work a number of people complained directly to HR and that was the end of any of that carrying on.

Just imagine for a second what a visitor will leave remembering your company for - professionalism, dedication or the carryings on of the couple in the canteen...

Frank Boggins

I was thinking of an annom email from outside to both of them saying please leave it for outside work.

micar

Hi

I think some of that carry on is part of their culture. But they need to adapt to their surroundings.
Have the bosses not noticed this before?
Just very careful of the boss. He/she may ask them to stop but may also say who made a complaint. This happened to me. I was made to look like a complete wan>er. Maybe, you should approach your boss with another colleague.
But they could be doing it to show off. IMO, public shows of affection indicate in deep inherent problem with the relationship.
Micar

Frank Boggins

Aw I am not gonna say it openly because as you said, I dont wanna come across as a tell tail! my manager has noticed it but as its not his team he just laughed it off. I actually walked out to make coffee about 30 minutes ago and he was sitting there and she was there sitting on his lap. Its just not for work in my opinion.

micar

The issue I had was that one of the girls had a habit to call in sick a lot.

I am in a small team of 4 and it really affects us when someone regularly does that. I said it to my team leader who actually sits beside her. It was said to this girl as if it had even been noticed before and that I was the only person to have mentioned it. I know for a fact that another one of the girls has said previously to my TL. I apologised to her but said that I felt that it had to be said. I've never done anything like that before and will never do again. The issue is not how I approached but how my TL approached it.

Really to put a stop to it, a few of you have to go to your manager and ask him/her to have a word their manager. For your manager to laugh it off is a disgrace.

Toast4532

I would advise that yourself and a few others (even one other) from your team approach your manager and get him/her to have a word with his supervisor or the couple's manager.

That kind of behaviour is not for the workplace, and especially in canteen's where there are people eating and trying to enjoy their lunch.

I know if I was in your situation I would go straight to my manager and get him to have a word with a supervisor or their manager and if that didn't work, I would see about complaining to someone higher up.

ElleEm

I agree with Toast.

It is completely unprofessional for them to take ANY of their personal lives into work, be it kissing or arguing. I would report it to management.

I have to say, I would have had less patience than you in this situation!!

fungun

why dont you just say it to them (or him/her if its easier) rather than running to their manager?

if its a commonly held opinion and you said it at the lunch table, then the others would back you up, no?

Toast4532

fungun wrote: »

why dont you just say it to them (or him/her if its easier) rather than running to their manager?

if its a commonly held opinion and you said it at the lunch table, then the others would back you up, no?

I don't believe it is appropriate or professional for a few workers to 'gang up' on two people and tell/ask them to change their behaviour in the canteen.

There are company polices in place for a reason, those procedures should be followed, workers (excl managers, supervisors etc) should not take matter into their own hands.

Complaining to a manager/supervisor is the way to go.

If workers (not managers/supervisors) take matters into their own hands it could makes things worse and possibly go against them in the future.

Do not take matters into your own hands OP, go through the proper channels, they are there for a reason.

gara

I think a simple "Sorry guys, could you keep the kissing for somewhere private please?" should suffice.

Adults should be able to resolve basic grievances together without resorting to managers or other third parties

LittleBook

Frank Boggins wrote: »

they are in a relationship and do be all over each other in the canteen. From sitting on each others laps all touchy feely and constantly wearing the face off each other in front of the whole room.

I'm trying to imagine this in the canteen where I work, or indeed in any of the places I've worked over the years and .... :pac:.

What are they? Teenagers? Do they think this is a schoolyard or a place of work?

I've worked with many different nationalities in different countries and I've never heard of this kind of behaviour in a workplace. In my experience, when people are in a relationship (which is frowned on in a lot of companies anyway) they are discreet about it at the very least.

Frank Boggins wrote: »

I guess I can to both of above but I just would of thought in a professional enviroment that this sort of thing would not be on.

I agree absolutely.

While I like gara's suggestion of just telling them to pack it in (if you feel up to that) I would definitely consider a confidential chat with HR to have this sorted out.

Work simply is not the place for this and it wouldn't do them any harm to learn that too!

Frank Boggins

What I actually this is . The girl is really attractive and that has been the joke when brought up "aw your just jealous cause shes not with you" and outside work yes I would say fair play to the guy his girlfriend is beautiful. I think he like to be all over her cause it makes him seem better than the other lads in the office but in fairness all it causes is uncomfort for those eating their lunch.

Pippy1976

Frank Boggins wrote: »

I was thinking of an annom email from outside to both of them saying please leave it for outside work.

Don't put anything in writing as it opens up a can of worms. Numerous departments are called in to deal with written complaints and follow procedures relating to same. I'd do what an earlier poster said and quietly have a WORD with HR... no writing or emailing - it's too official for something like this.

Just say people are uncomfortable, it's not the right environment and can we please keep things professional. Keep it breezy but, again, don't go down the route of putting a complaint in writing. It's not worth it for this type of thing (speaking from experience here by the way).

Pyr0

I'd report it to management, it's really not the right environment for it at all. Very un-professional.