Becoming an alcoholic?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm 25, male and am worried about my drinking habits.

I've been bartending for years while in college and for 2 years afterwards. I'm currently doing a masters degree in my field and will be finished in January so I expect to be done with barwork as of then. I worked for 3 years in a certain pub and made some great friends who are mostly mature about drinking, so I tended to limit my drinking to a couple after work some nights and the odd bender where I would get blackout drunk.

A month ago I started a new job where the staff are generally younger and drink alot more. I mostly work wednesday to sunday nights. Thursday Friday and Saturday I go for a pint before work around 6pm. Everyday on my break I have 2. After work another 2. Added to this I would have around 4 or 5 drinks while working on friday and saturdays. Blackouts are now more common. I think 3 of the last 4 times I've gone out I've blacked out. Last night I was working from 6pm and drank 3 strong cocktails and 5 shots during work, as well as 2 pints on my break. Then after work the other staff and I went out (at 1.30am) and I got blackout drunk again. I woke up today on the couch of some house with no wallet, phone, jacket or bag that I had going to work. I emptied my bank account on drinks and am broke until thursday.

I'm insecure and tend to drink must faster than everyone else in order to feel comfortable, and almost always do something I regret while blacked out. I'm always guilt ridden after a session. Whenever I blackout I tend to piss in weird places aswell, which is a nightmare when I go back to house parties or stay in friends houses. One time I pissed all over a girl as she was sleeping after a bender. I never have a girlfriend because I get so drunk when I'm out. Gym, diet, budgeting all go out the window when I go on a session and am constantly broke despite earning decent enough money. Lately I sometimes get the feeling that I'm dying for a pint too.

I've said to myself countless times that I need to either stop or moderate my drinking but always end up in the same place again. I also have a holiday coming up in 10 days where everyone will be on a mad one making it nearly impossible to not drink. Of my 4 siblings, 2 are alcoholics. I want to stop drinking but it seems like my whole life is built around it. I feel that in order to stop I have to quit bartending, which I can't until I finish college. Not really sure where to go from here. After a few days of not drinking I'll begin to think "Sure may aswell go mental for the last few months", but I know where I'm going to end up if I keep drinking. The problem is that I'm not confident enough to enjoy myself on a night out without drinking.

Sorry for rambling on but I feel pretty lost at the moment and it felt good to write that down. Not really sure what to do next. I want to go to an AA meeting, but I fully intend on drinking during this holiday so should I just quit after. I'll be going part time in work while I'm in college so cutting down should be easier. Then again I feel like I'm just making excuses and convincing myself I'm grand.

Roisy7

The fact that you have described trying to give it up and not being able to is worrying...

I think maybe the first step is to talk to your GP who might refer you to a counsellor. It's important to know why you drink so much- why do you feel "insecure" etc?

Good luck OP x

Molloys Clondalkin

hi op
Firstly let me just say you are not alone here there are thousands of people in a similar situation I when I worked formy username became a bad alcoholic.
Thankfully those days are passed me.
I had a girlfriend who was one an we would enable each other to drink till sunrise really scary stuff and th culture o drink around me didnt help whe you had people coming in at 4 in the afternoon opening wine for the management and staff to "have a try".

Firstly you need to go to either AA or Alanon or if your not into that an addiction counselor can help wonders.
Then you need to step back and look at the culture of drinking around you maybe you need to change your career or at least start going home straigt away, Im not saying be unsocailble but think more "we stop play when the whistle blows".
You might also need to have a look at stresses in your life you say you drink too fast maybe go onto shandys that way your only having onefor every two you drink etc..

But well done on spotting the dangersigns too many have ignored them and ended up dead.

blacklilly

Hi op,

The fact that you are aware of your current drinking habits and realise that it is a problem is the first step.

I would definitely suggest going to a support group such as aa through this you may be able to deal with the triggers and you will feel comfortable talking with people who are going through the same. It might also be an option to try councelling. The fact that two of your siblings are alcoholics increases your chances of being one but you have the power to prevent this happening.

Also if you are an alcoholic, leaving the pub trade will not solve your problems, there will always be an excuse to drink so you need to deal with the underlying issues.

Maybe try getting involved in clubs, sports, interests that do not revolve around alcohol.

There is so much help out there, do not be afraid to take advantage of it.

People will tend to excuse drunken people in their twenties as just having a good time etc, unfortunately alcohol can be an issue for younger people. You are lucky in that you realise it is a problem for you.

I wish you the best of luck and remember you can take control of this

kjl

blacklilly wrote: »

Hi op,

The fact that you are aware of your current drinking habits and realise that it is a problem is the first step.

Perhaps, but to be honest it sounds to me like the OP has a serious problem which he is going to need a lot of help tackling. I know you need this job OP but if you are going to quit alcohol you probably will need to get another job in a shop or something. As one of the above users said, talk to your GP and he can direct you further, but you are on a path of destruction if you keep going this way.

amtc

I would google a really good counsellor called rolande anderson...honestly not aa, but would help you realise if you had an issue or not.

Abi

AlcoFlop wrote: »

Hi,

I'm 25, male and am worried about my drinking habits.

I've been bartending for years while in college and for 2 years afterwards. I'm currently doing a masters degree in my field and will be finished in January so I expect to be done with barwork as of then. I worked for 3 years in a certain pub and made some great friends who are mostly mature about drinking, so I tended to limit my drinking to a couple after work some nights and the odd bender where I would get blackout drunk.

A month ago I started a new job where the staff are generally younger and drink alot more. I mostly work wednesday to sunday nights. Thursday Friday and Saturday I go for a pint before work around 6pm. Everyday on my break I have 2. After work another 2. Added to this I would have around 4 or 5 drinks while working on friday and saturdays. Blackouts are now more common. I think 3 of the last 4 times I've gone out I've blacked out. Last night I was working from 6pm and drank 3 strong cocktails and 5 shots during work, as well as 2 pints on my break. Then after work the other staff and I went out (at 1.30am) and I got blackout drunk again. I woke up today on the couch of some house with no wallet, phone, jacket or bag that I had going to work. I emptied my bank account on drinks and am broke until thursday.

I'm insecure and tend to drink must faster than everyone else in order to feel comfortable, and almost always do something I regret while blacked out. I'm always guilt ridden after a session. Whenever I blackout I tend to piss in weird places aswell, which is a nightmare when I go back to house parties or stay in friends houses. One time I pissed all over a girl as she was sleeping after a bender. I never have a girlfriend because I get so drunk when I'm out. Gym, diet, budgeting all go out the window when I go on a session and am constantly broke despite earning decent enough money. Lately I sometimes get the feeling that I'm dying for a pint too.

I've said to myself countless times that I need to either stop or moderate my drinking but always end up in the same place again. I also have a holiday coming up in 10 days where everyone will be on a mad one making it nearly impossible to not drink. Of my 4 siblings, 2 are alcoholics. I want to stop drinking but it seems like my whole life is built around it. I feel that in order to stop I have to quit bartending, which I can't until I finish college. Not really sure where to go from here. After a few days of not drinking I'll begin to think "Sure may aswell go mental for the last few months", but I know where I'm going to end up if I keep drinking. The problem is that I'm not confident enough to enjoy myself on a night out without drinking.

Sorry for rambling on but I feel pretty lost at the moment and it felt good to write that down. Not really sure what to do next. I want to go to an AA meeting, but I fully intend on drinking during this holiday so should I just quit after. I'll be going part time in work while I'm in college so cutting down should be easier. Then again I feel like I'm just making excuses and convincing myself I'm grand.

Then you're not quite ready to tackle your problem. If you fully intend to drink on this holiday, make a very important decision to not get drunk. You're about to blow your holiday away on a drunken haze if not. Is that what you really want? I'm sure you've worked quite hard for this, and it's up to you whether you want to enjoy it, or píss it away on regrets. Go sight-seeing, visit attractions during the day. If you want to take a drink or two with an evening meal, make sure it stays at that and not a complete bender.


You know you have a problem, that is step one. Step two is actively changing your habits, and stay committed. Alcohol is a monster, it can take hold of you so gradually, you don't even realise that it is happening. Time to fight back OP. Start going to meetings, and not after your holiday, I mean now. It will help you begin the process of understanding how drink has effected your life, and how it has effected others. You're in the better position of recognising that you have a problem just in time. Alcohol has destroyed lives, families, and leaves people penniless and homeless. You've worked too hard in college for this.

Break the habit, and stay out of the pubs. Claim back your life OP, and get as much support as you can. Best of luck.